Saturday, February 27, 2010

Digfiles - Episode 2

These crackheads are out of control LOL.

What nerve you gotta have to go up to somebody's house, who you dont know from a can of paint, and ring the fuse out of the doorbell at 8-something in the morning on a Saturday! I understand trying to get out there with your handy dandy shovel bright and early to beat out all the other crackheads, but how about ringing the doorbell like you got some sense, and not like I owe you money? Then to KEEP on ringing it like a crazy person, as if to say "bitch, hurry up, its cold out here!" like I'm supposed to give a gotdamn that you cold, when you just woke me out of my weekly celebrity wetdream, and Nelly was just about to get loose! Get your fucken life together! I left his ass right out there - if you hurry, you can catch up with the Jehovah's witnesses I left out there last week, LOL

Then I call this number my girl gave me yesterday, for the guy who plowed her driveway. He asks me where I am, I tell him. He asks me if I had my driveway plowed yesterday, I say no. "No, Im sorry, Im not gonna be able to make that today." Why the fuck not? LOL You feel some kinda way about people who rather just pay once for a plowing, knowing full well we were gonna get another heavy snow the following day? Should I have called yesterday, paid $15 and then called again today to pay you some more? Why the hell would I do that? LOL You just know your minicooper ass truck couldnt handle that 2-day hit all at once. Just say that! Fucker.

But I lucked out and found a number for another guy in the area who was also cheap. I called him, he came, and turns out it was an old homey of mine. Cute as all get-out but just as much drama, so you already know I made myself busy doing other shit while he was plowing. But tell me why every snow plow guy thinks they have to instruct you on how to pull your car out of the driveway? He plowed from the street, up to my car, then waited for me to move the car, so he could do the rest, and Im getting, "ok so what you wanna do is go forward first to get a little runway room" (runway room, dude, really? LOL)"and then put it in reverse and gun it real hard."

*staring into the camera*

Thanks. I dont think I would have ever figured that out. *RME*

Still and all, I was grateful he came to the rescue, because I needed a store run like I needed my next breath, and I'da had a better chance swimming out the driveway than trying to get through 2 feet of snow. Yall know how people be exaggerating, saying shit like "yo, it had to be like 2 feet of snow!" and it was really like 5 or 6 inches? LOL This was literally 2 feet of snow - more in some parts. I was thigh-deep in it while I was brushing off my car (also 2 feet deep in snow) and I'm 5'8, so we talkin bout some serious accumulation! My whole damn body hurts right now, just from ten minutes of snow removal. I can skip taebo AND hip hop abs for at least two days LOL

Last point... and dont say SHIT LOL..... I finally took my Christmas tree down LOL. Dont judge me, people, I be busy LOL. Furthermore, I've spent a lot of time upstairs in my house lately, so the Christmas tree was very much out of sight, out of mind a lotta nights. There are a ton of people out here whose Christmas lights are still up OUTSIDE their houses, and they still pluggin them shits in at night, so dont give me no shit about my tree LOL. At least it was inside, so you had to come over to know it was there, LOL. At any rate, its officially down now, so yall can scratch my name off the list of people who need their asses kicked LOL.

Dont judge me! LOL

Friday, February 26, 2010

Another Quick Thought...

Real quick.

We are only human and we are gonna make mistakes. A good person fixes them, a great person learns from them, and an enlightened person lets it go. You cant change what you did yesterday, but you can be better today. Grown ups have tough decisions to make, but be a grown up and make them. Dont be a screwup all your life. Admit your mistakes, even if its just to yourself, and stop making excuses for not doing better next time.

Shackin Up!

So yesterday I got a question from someone on premarital cohabitation. For those of you on the slow bus (lol) that means living together before or without a plan for marriage. I think that is a decision to be made on an individual basis, but for me, personally, I dont advocate it.

By and large, I subscribe to the ideology that a man will rarely buy the cow if he's getting the milk for free. That's not to say that they never do, or that there aren't circumstances where living together is the best decision at the time, the odds are just against you.

Again, its an individual decision, with a lot of factors that play into it, so rather than lecture about the perils of cohabitation, let me just advise anyone who is considering it to make sure they set themselves up for the best outcome. If you want your relationship to advance to marriage, you need to have an understanding of that before you do anything. Talk expectations. Make sure there is some consensus on how long this is going to go on before some moves are made, and hold each other to that timeline. Definitely discuss how the bills are gonna be handled, and no one ever wants to look ahead to a potentially bad ending, but we all know shit happens, so always - ALWAYS - have an exit strategy.

I lived with someone for 5 out of 6 years (one of those "right thing at the time" situations) and when the shit hit the fan, I could not bear one more week in that house with him. I would have been assed out if I didnt have the money on hand to go get another place right away, because I didnt really have anywhere else to go. I didnt have family or friends that could put me up for more than a couple nights at a time, especially with the midgets. So always make sure you are thinking about plan B.

You know another thing that is gonna be problematic if you dont address it upfront? Friends. If you have friends who drop by often, or friends of the opposite sex who call your house, that is gonna be an issue in most relationships when you live together. He might not wanna come home to your gossipping ass girlfriends on the couch after a long day at work, and she may not want your musty ass homeboys with their feet all up on her coffee table 4 days a week, cleaning out the fridge. One or both of you might be uncomfortable with the phone call situation and you might find yourself in an ultimatum, choosing between your friends and your mate, which is one place nobody wants to be. All that shit is fine and dandy when you dont live together, because they know this is going on, but its not something they have to really deal with when they are going home to their own place every night, so you will have to come to an understanding about what is acceptable for the both of you.

Some people feel like you cant really know who you are marrying until you share a toilet LOL. Eh. I think part of the allure of marriage is the new life together, which includes discovery. You should know a person enough before marriage that whatever habits you come across that are new to you arent deal-breaking. If you call off the wedding because he put the toilet paper under instead of over, youre probably focused on the wrong things anyway LOL.

"*gasp!* This bitch dont alphabetize her canned goods. Im not gon be able to do it!" LMAOOOOOO

So just think it out before you do it, and as with anything else, communication is going to be key.

*****

On another note... I have more than 5 readers, dammit LOL. I know this because I get emails and IM's every day from people who are not on that list over there >>>>>, commenting on something I blogged. I also get emails and IM's from people who are not on that list over there >>>>> with attitudes when I skip days or questioning me about when I am gonna post something I said I was gonna follow up on (i.e. "Got Condoms?") Yall got nerve LOL. How bout you subscribe to some shit before you start making demands? LOL At the very least, stop hitting me up wanting to discuss the blog - that's what the comments section is for. I am grateful for all my readers and thank you for even checking in, but there is a bigger picture here - this is a means to an end - so please, please, please subscribe...

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Just a thought...

Sometimes when you dont know what to do in a situation, the best thing you can do is nothing. Things tend to shake themselves out and it's easy for us, as human beings, to feel failure or disappointment when something doesnt work out the way we want it to, but just take a step back and realize that everything happens for a reason, and when things dont work out, they are actually working out for the best. It hurts at the time, but you will no doubt look back in thanksgiving that no additional time or energy was wasted on that particular situation. Time is something we can never get back. Be grateful when an unprogressive effort kills itself, so it doesnt kill you.

Thats all.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Wise Words

"You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened... or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on."

— Lesane Parish Crooks a.k.a Tupac Amaru Shakur

#imjustsayin

Monday, February 22, 2010

She Found Me!

OMG - I am SO excited!

I have been trying to find one of my college homegirls for YEARS and today, she found me. We played ball together and she left school right before my senior year. I searched Myspace. I searched Facebook. I searched Peoplefinder. I googled her. I did everything I could think to do and nothing came up.

Turns out she goes by Kay now, and is married with children, which is probably why I could never find her. So good to know that she was looking for me too. Now we have to find our homeboy, Mike McArdle, and the circle will be complete. So Im gonna do a contest. If you can find Mike McArdle, from Long Island, somewhere between the ages of 35 and 37, who went to SUNY Brockport between 93 and 97...... I dont know what the prize is gonna be, but it will be awesome, I promise!

Anyway, I just wanted to express my ridiculous excitement. I might be back later if something else noteworthy occurs...

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Company Men

Some guys are just scuzzbuckets LOL. We all know some. Those are the ones who try to get into any and everybody's pants. Those are the guys who date you and three other girls at the same time, dont tell you, but when you find out, youre so not surprised. Or maybe they have somebody at home, but everyone knows they sleep around and nobody understands why their girls or wives stay, because they know too. Those guys "wear a badge" meaning you can tell on sight, or at least after very little exposure to them, that they aint shit.

But verily I say unto you (LOL work with me now) just because he's not wearing a badge, doesnt mean he dont work there LOL. Think about where you work - do people wear badges? Now tell me this - does your CEO? LMAOOOOO!

Some dudes are so good at what they do, they will have you crazy around here, thinking YOU did something wrong. You could catch him butt naked at the next chick's house and he'll flip it on you, like you was wrong for following him over there LOL. These are the dudes we give the benefit of the doubt because they dont seem like the type. I can recall dozens of conversations, where somebody is playing devil's advocate, like "well how do you know HE aint do (such and such)" and the woman goes "I just dont think he's that type" or "he's not like that" only to find out later that he was exactly like that.

You know those guys from the Lifetime movies that [I think] I talked about before, with a family in Texas and another in Jersey? They exist. They get away with that shit because they dont seem to be the type. Make no mistake, they are all the type. Not literally, I just mean they are all capable of pulling the wool over your eyes, as are we, so you cant put anything past them. If you smell a rat, dont ignore the stench. Trust your instincts and keep your eyes open.

All company employees eventually report for work. That's all I'm saying.

Friday, February 19, 2010

Got Condoms?

I just had to share LOL.

Me and the midgets went grocery shopping today. I spent like $300, too, and let me tell you, I am not a happy camper, but I digress LOL.

I bought some condoms right, LOL, and I thought I was all slick, making sure I sent my son into another aisle so he wouldnt see me grab them. What I didnt count on was him being the one who put them up on the conveyor belt at the checkout. I was so busy with the cashier, I forgot about them, and I happened to turn and look at him, right after he put them down, and caught him eyeing them like WTF? LOL

Now my son is in the sixth grade - he's gonna be twelve in a couple of weeks - so I can just about imagine the horror of thinking about his mom having sex, so I immediately went into disaster recovery mode. I didnt say anything at first, but I sensed some ewww-ness coming from his direction for the next 20 minutes, so I figured on having to do something soon.

Six hours later, it comes to me. I recalled a moment earlier this week, while we were watching TV together, where somebody mentioned something about condoms. I cant remember exactly what it was or what he said, but he didnt understand it, and it got us into a brief conversation about condoms having to be put on correctly, but that even if they are, they sometimes break. That was my way out tonight.

We were watching TV together again, and I said to him, "So I bought some condoms." His eyes got all big like mom, please dont LOL. I continued, saying that I wanted to teach him about them, and show him how to use them properly. If yall could have seen the look on this boy's face LMAOOOOOO! He tensed all up, guarding his boyhood, thinking I was gonna show him ON him, and I couldnt do anything but laugh.

I said, "Boy, Im not gonna show you on you, Im gonna demonstrate on something else." I told him I know (read: hope) he doesnt need them right now but things happen faster now than they did back when I was his age, and whenever he does need them, I want to make sure he knows how to use them the right way. He seemed to get a little more comfortable as I went on, so I hope the lesson goes well. We will probably do it in the next couple of days and Im sure there will be major bloggage soon after LOL. He has these fast ass lil girls calling and texting him already, so it's none too soon. They wont be sending MY baby home with no damn babies!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Random

Its so funny how you be so busy or... whatever, that plans are just plans - in your head - and you dont realize how much you were actually looking forward to something until it gets cancelled...

*sigh*

The bad part about that sometimes is that you actually FEEL a void when those couple of hours free up, and you start thinking of THE WORST ways to fill them. But I am just going to take my lumps tonight. I am not going to pick up my phone (unless it rings LOL) because I think it might have been meant for me to sit here tonight, doing exactly what Im doing: having a nice drink in front of channel 843 on my DirecTv, jamming to some BANGING cuts, relaxing, and thinking deeply. I havent really written anything in a little while. I'm thinking maybe I will tonight.... unless my phone rings LOL!

Stay tuned....

Next Time He Asks You To Swallow.... LOL

From ABC News...
http://abcnews.go.com/m/screen?id=9732562



Pregnant After Oral Sex and Knife Fight: How?
By LAUREN COX2/3/10, 2:24 PM ESTAccount of a girl impregnated after oral sex shows sperms' survival skills.
A strange tale of oral sex, a knife fight and the most unlikely of pregnancies recently brought to light by the blogosphere has doctors touting the triumphant persistence of sperm.

In 1988, a 15-year-old girl living in the small southern African nation of Lesotho came to local doctors with all the symptoms of a woman in labor. But the doctors were quickly puzzled because, upon examination, she didn't have a vagina.

"Inspection of the vulva showed no vagina, only a shallow skin dimple," so doctors delivered a healthy baby boy via Caesarean, the authors wrote in a case report published in the British Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology.

Her birth defect -- called Mullerian agenesis or Mayer-Rokitansky-Küster-Hauser syndrome -- didn't necessarily surprise doctors, but her pregnancy did. Even the 15-year-old girl could not believe she was pregnant.

Yet by looking at her records the hospital staff realized the young woman was in the hospital 278 days earlier with a knife wound to her stomach. The average pregnancy lasts 280 days. After interviews, they gathered that "Just before she was stabbed in the abdomen she had practiced fellatio with her new boyfriend and was caught in the act by her former lover. The fight with knives ensued."

The girl arrived at the hospital with an empty stomach -- and therefore with little stomach acid around -- and doctors found two holes from a stab wound that opened her stomach up to her abdominal cavity. The case report said doctors washed her stomach out with a salt solution and stitched her up.

"A plausible explanation for this pregnancy is that spermatozoa gained access to the reproductive organs via the injured gastrointestinal tract," the authors wrote.

Infertility experts note the story, which resurfaced on a Discovery magazine blog, is not only a testament to Murphy's Law but one to arguably nature's most impressive swimmers: sperm.

[end of story]


*__*

*staring into the camera*

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

So Glad To Be Home

Woo, Lawd, today was a hectic one.

It started out fine - good even - then the new chick at my job decided that I was gonna be her personal IPhone app for the day, asking me 100 questions. I'm helpful, and my boss did ask me to take her under my wing and show her the ropes, so I dont mind the questions, but can we please put some thought into them?

If a form asks you about bandwidth, and you know you not selling anything having to do with bandwidth, why would you think you needed to fill that form out?

If I tell you "you need to go see an SE" and then give you four or five reasons why you need to go see an SE, how you gonna get mad when the fields on another form you ask me about requires SE information? LOL

I mean really. YOU are the new chick, not me. If you knew this shit, you wouldnt have a need to ask ME, and if you didnt think I knew what I was talking about, just go ask somebody else. Dont sit there going back and forth with me, debating about why you dont think you are supposed to do something, because quite frankly, I got my own shit to do. Do whatever it is that you want to do, because they dont pay me NO extra to deal with your annoying ass, and you are starting to get on my last damn nerve.

*deep breath and eye roll*

Lucky for her, I had to do some time outside of the office and had a chance to shake it - a little LOL. By the time I came back, the questions were a lot more cautious, but I was a little better equipped to deal with them. It didnt hurt that three deals I had on the fence all fell over to the "win" lawn in the span of two hours, so it ended up not being so bad..... at least until I got off.

Where the hell did all this snow come from, and why do people act like they dont know how to drive in it, when we get this bullshit 360 days out the year? LOL Yes, 360, cause summer here is like 5 days long LOL. I did get some brownies today for my birthday though. My birthday was a month and a half ago, and the brownies didnt have any weed in them, but they were still good LOL.

SCORE!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Martiiiin! Martiiiin!



Just a clip from one of my favorite Martin episodes. Here's the description:


"Martin's new CD Walkman disappears. Stan convinces him that one of his friends must have taken it since they all have keys to his apartment. Martin goes around to each of his good friends and accuses them. Then it turns out he's wrong when the real taker of the Walkman innocently returns it to Martin."


Yall remember this one - where he did a little spoof scene from New Jack City, with the stuffed dog? If you watch closely, you'll see the rest of the cast is struggling to keep straight faces LOL. Hysterical!

This show use to be the bomb. Im soooooo rallying for a reunion movie...

Monday, February 15, 2010

Dont You Be Nobody's Fool

Do you know a red flag when you see one? Does it afford you caution, or does it make you pull completely out of a situation?

People will tell you who they are if you just listen. Sometimes emotions cloud our judgment, especially in a relationship situation where we have invested so much time and energy that we don't want to see it go to waste. That little twinge of doubt tends to make us worry about making the wrong decision, later regretting it. But I say to you all that it is better to err on the side of caution when the only gray in the situation is the paint you, yourself, throw onto the canvas.

There is a comedian named Jemerio (I think that's his name LOL) who always gives the audience these scenarios and then says "Don't you be nobody's fool..."

I just want to put a bug in your ear tonight, giving you the same advice. Don't you be nobody's fool. I dont want anybody out there to be so jaded by emotion that they ignore red flags with people who hold their hearts or futures in their hands, and I have had occasion twice today to have this conversation with people. In most cases, if you take the emotion out of a situation and just look at the cold, hard facts, things will be pretty clear. No one can tell you what to do, but likewise, no one will have to live with the decisions you make but you. I've said it once, and I will say it again: if given the choice between loving a woman and loving a man, I will choose to love a woman every time - me.

Choose wisely.

I believe in second chances. I believe in innocent until proven guilty. I believe that what you do in the dark will always - ALWAYS - come to light. What I dont believe in is being the sacrificial lamb to somebody else's redemption. If I am nothing else, I am a good friend, so when I go against my e-shrink rules to tell a person what I feel in my heart, it is because I truly feel it in my spirit, and I dont believe I would be a good friend if I didnt speak it. I hope the two people I broke those rules for today understand that, and know that they are still free to make their own choices, and that I will still be there for them should they go against my advice. Thats what real friends do. I would hope that I could expect the same from those I perceive to be mine.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Happy Valentine's Day

So I was talking to my girlfriend this morning, and like millions of other single Americans, she's been dreading today. She's not very optimistic about her love life in general these days, but something about Valentine's Day just increases her pessimism exponentially. I cant say I don't understand - I have wasted many a February 14th groaning.

I remember V-Days that fell during the work week having me miserable at the job because people were getting flower deliveries left and right and teddy bears and fruit baskets and all kindsa shit, and all that day had come to mean to me was the demise of some relationship that had been on its last leg for weeks anyway. I swear, there had to be like 4 relationships in a row that all ended within a week of it, so I came to hate it.

But Valentines Day is just a day, like any other. It's the same opportunity to be better than you were the day before. It's the same gift from God that you have lived to see and be thankful for. So why be miserable because TODAY nobody sent you flowers? Did you get any yesterday? How about the day before that? No? So why should you have a heavy heart because you didnt get any TODAY?

You know how I got out of my Valentine's Day funk? I started buying my own flowers. I do it from time to time anyway, just because I love them, but on this day in particular, I would buy myself a bouquet of whatever struck my fancy, find something fun to do with the kids, treat myself to a pedi or new pair of shoes, and follow that up with some home-steamed crablegs, maybe a lobster tail, a nice stiff drink (or three LOL) and a night of my favorite music, by candlelight. That became my ritual - a day filled with all the things I love - and it always did the trick.

You see, if we have to give this day some particular significance, it shouldnt be one set aside to celebrate a relationship - you should be doing that every day if you are lucky enough to be in one. This, to me, should be a day to celebrate the beauty of love in general - the possibilities, as well as the lessons learned - and most of all, a day to remind yourself that a relationship does not define you. You are no less awesome today than you were yesterday, just because you are single, even if it's not by choice. It's a day to remind yourself that in order for you to even love somebody else, you have to first love YOU. How you feel about yourself radiates outward, projecting energy to everyone you meet. If you ever hope to find somebody, you have to get your own mind right. Ceasing to assess your own value based on one day of the year is definitely a start.

So get up, single people! Take a hot shower, get cute and go do something. Even if all you do is go to the store, come home and clean your house to a cd of your favorite songs, do something. Go get your car washed. Buy yourself some new sheets - the good ones that make you not wanna get outta bed. If you gotta sleep alone, you might as well sleep well! LOL But do something. Enjoy your day. Don't be a Hallmark hostage!!! LOL And remember - if nobody else loves you, Doctor Dig loves you!

Have a wonderful day.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Do You Know...

I came across this in a file of old things I wrote, and felt compelled to post it. With the things I have posted recently, some of you out there may think I am on my way to a white room with padded walls, but I want to dispell that thought. I have run across some characters, let me tell you, but all in all, I am ecstatic in life at this moment, optimistic beyond reason, and I really only tell yall about this shit because its comical. I think this will give you some better coordinates to my position. Dont cry for me, Argentina! LOL


************


Do you know what you want?

I don’t think most people do. They think they do, but its not until they come across someone who really does, that they realize they don’t.

I had that experience recently. This guy wanted to get to know me, and you know me, Im down. Whatever. We get into a conversation and all of a sudden he threw me a red cape and came at me with horns up. “I don’t have time to date just to be dating. Im looking for a wife. I want another child, or maybe two, I want the house, the picket fence, the whole nine yards, and I don’t waste my time with anyone who is bringing me anything less than the keys to that relationship castle.” Once he finished that spiel, he proceeded to tell me how he plans to go about achieving this goal of his and I gotta tell ya, initially I didn’t know what to say, but once the shock wore off, all I could do was giggle. You know the old folks say “If you wanna make God laugh, tell him your plans.” Newsflash, moron, you cant plan this road any more than you can plan to make a snowman in July.

First of all, dude, I just met you. That is a little too much pressure to be putting on somebody in the first conversation. Can we see if we can stand each other first before you start tellin me your expectations? You got me on an interview and we aint even left the job fair yet, LOL. You don’t even know my last name and already you wanna change it. Secondly, another kid? Hmmm….. check please. Thirdly, the way he said it was so matter-of-fact that I was almost intimidated. Almost. I think I probably wasn’t because my pscyhometer told me that intimidation was his intent. He comes at a woman this way off the bat to see how she will react – to see if she would shake. I held my ground, stating that Im not trying to put all my pigs in one house unless I know that house made of brick, and some wolf cant blow it down… but it got me to thinking: Dig, are these the things that YOU want? I mean I know everyone thinks that all women want some prince on a white horse to come swoop them up and take her off to some fairytale kingdom so they can live happily ever after, but the farther I put the time I almost had that behind me, the more I start to feel like it might not be what I want.

I was watching this movie today (LOL shut up). This woman ‘s man left her because he wanted to marry her and she didn’t wanna have a wedding the way most people do. She didn’t subscribe to a lot of society’s standards and ideals and wanted to do things by her own rules. Later she decided that she was going to marry herself, to prove that she was happy with herself and okay being single. It’s a kooky concept, and in the end, she and the guy got back together, but that’s besides the point, LOL. I think she was onto something.

Why is it that we treat being single as some kind of plague? I mean God, if you were meant to be with someone right now, you would be. Maybe youre single cause you need to take some time to get YOUR shit right. It doesn’t mean you will be single forever, but whats wrong with enjoying the time that you are? Why do we all have to be on dating crack out here, trying to hurry up and go through as many freakin losers as we can, kissing all the frogs possible so we get to some prince before that first strand of gray makes an appearance in our freshly cut chinese bangs? Single people are not lepers, some of us are the happiest people around.

Now don’t get me wrong, everyone wants someone to love and to be loved in return. I am no different. But I really, really am happily single. I have the freedom to do what I please, with whom I please, and still have more than enough testosterone in my phone directory to keep my days interesting. Yeah, I have some slow stretches, but right now, Im in a busy season, so fuck you, overly perky little girlfriend of nobody special LOL. I wouldn’t go so far as having a public wedding ceremony for me to affirm who I already am to the world like ole girl in the movie, and I wouldn’t necessarily shirk off a man who was ‘Dig’ enough to make me consider a future with him either, but Im not busting the doors down in either direction. Im enjoying my life as it comes and if and when the time comes back around for me to ‘rock the rock’ again, then so be it. Til then, Im chillin and am disgustingly happy doing it. I guess what Im saying is that I don’t have a script. I don’t have a blueprint or a map to Dig’s eternal [relationship or lack thereof] happiness. I cannot sit here and tell you all the things that I want in a man, but I think its enough to say that I want a man that makes me happier with him than I am single. And let me go on record to say that for that, he has his work cut out for him.

Im Gonna Learn One Day

Ok so.... LOL.... admittedly, I have a problem. I have a tendency to check up on people sometimes, just because I see them online, or pass by their number in my cell phone contacts, like "Oh I havent talked to them in a long time, let me see how they're doing."

*staring into the camera*

Bitch, there is a REASON you have not talked to them in a long time, go with that LOL. So I fell victim to it again today (smh) and, as I do most times, regretted it.

The fact that it was an ex of mine should have been the first sign. The reasons we broke up should have been the second sign. The fact that the mere mention of his name makes all my friends dry heave should have been the third, but noooooooo, I see him online and what do I do? I say hi.

*sigh*

So I say hi and we chit chat for like 2 minutes, nothing doing, cool. I'm done, so I'm like "ok well I just saw you on and figured I would say hey, so Ima let you go." He's like "Ok, take care of yourself and my little homies" (the midgets). Far as Im concerned, we done LOL.

EH!!! Wrong.

Not 15 seconds later, he comes back with "Ima fly up there some time soon to see you, you gonna let me spend some time with you?"

*staring into the camera*

"Define time."

"Time. Like on a weekend, to come up there and rebuild what we once had."

*staring into the camera*

"Which was what?"

"Our relationship."

*staring into the camera*

"Um........no. I'm good, thanks."

"Oh you rough on a brotha. Why cant we rekindle our flame?"

*staring into the camera*

So at this point, I am trying to maintain my center LOL. I simply spell out the terms under which that "relationship" ended and told him that I would have to be crazy to put myself back in that situation again. I then told him that he is lucky I havent burned and done a voo doo death ceremony over his jacket that he left here all that time ago, that pisses me off every time I remember it is still hanging in my coat closet. Note to self.......... nah, damn a note to self, I'll be right back...........

..............

.........that shit (now bagged up with the rest of the shit scheduled to go to the Goodwill on Monday) is probably a reason for some of this negative ass energy that's been floating through here LOL. Buh-bye.

Anyway, some time last year, he hit me up on Myspace all super late at night, wanting to bear his soul and shit, confessing all his sins, finally admitting to all the bullshit he did. He must not have written any of that down, because today he was in total denial of ever having done them, and claims to, today, be keeping it 100 with me. Mm, so when you laid out in front of that bus and let it roll over you all those months ago, you just felt like being sacrificed and THIS is actually the real truth? Okay.

When I tell yall I broke on this dude, I mean I broke a sweat LOL. I have not flipped on a person that hard in QUITE some time. I was EXHAUSTED when I was done. You know you fired somebody up when you need a drink of water afterwards LOL. But I have nobody to blame but myself. I shouldnt have even accepted his friend request on FB, and I damn sure shouldnt have given a hot damn about how he's doing to even be saying hi when I saw him online, so yes, I take full responsibility for the fuckery that ensued, but you know what? I got a lot of shit off my chest that needed to be said, and I feel like I could do some laps right now LOL. I have to say, Mikmirah's blog comment from a week or so ago was spinning all through my mind at the time - Oh Im supposed to believe it took you all this time (and a random message from me) to realize you want that old thing back? GTFOH! I hope the crabs of 10,000 whores land in your boxer drawer and your arms are too short to scratch! LOL

(Im sorry, Jesus, Im just playin, but you know he deserves it!)

"We Are The World" Remake (Help for Haiti)




Ok. I um......... *sigh* LOL

You know what? I really dont know what to say, except let me state, for the record, that Celine Dion reaffirms my undying love for her every time she opens her mouth! Woo!

Now there were moments of this video that brought tears to my eyes. At the same time, my feelings about the original makes this remake hard to swallow. In all fairness, it would have been fine without the last.... IDK, minute and a half maybe? There were things prior that I would never have thrown in the gumbo, but still worked. Kanye and Will-I-Am sold separately LOL. And Wyclef - I get it - but COME ON SON!

*sigh*

All that aside, I appreciate the fact that all these people came together for this purpose - one which I, myself, support wholeheartedly, and one that we KNOW Michael would have as well. After the initial shock wore off, I had the chance to mull it over, and I think Michael would be very proud of this effort. Being so, I have no choice but be very proud of it too.

I believe there is an opportunity or instructions on how to donate to help Haiti at the end of the video. Times are hard, not everyone has money they can give, but please give in whatever way you can, even if it's only in the form of constant prayer for a people in need. After all, it could have been us.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Am I The Only One?

Ok folks, so this is my first real chance to blog since I got to Minneapolis yesterday evening, but I actually wrote this on the plane. I dont know about anybody else, but traveling the friendly skies tends to get my mind racing. I be thinking ALL KINDS of mess LOL. is it just me?

Am I the only one.....

-who prays over the plane, pilots, passengers, flight attendants AND the lil pudgy boy outside in the orange vest? LOL

-who at the first sign of turbulence, can't think about nothing else but all the bad shit you did over the last few days, hoping God's gonna give you a pass cause he "knows your heart" and I mean, you do got kids to raise LOL

-who never wants to talk to their mama any other time, but she be the first person you call when you get on a plane, because you think she prays better than you? LOL

-who has been a plane that taxied so long, you felt like you were IN a taxi? LOL No bullshit, for a hot second there, I forgot where I was. You are soooo not supposed to get caught up in the scenery on a runway. You been taxiing too damn long LOL.

-who has that "what if this is my last trip ever?" moment while Im boarding the plane, taking note of all the faces of the people getting on the plane with me? LOL Yo! I be buggin like, shit, these muthafuckas might end up being my homeys, we might have to band together and take a bitch down LMAO! Sitting there casting the made-for-tv movie in my head and shit like "Yup, Markie Post can play her. She kinda look like her." LOL

-who listens intently to the flight attendant cause you dont want people to see you looking at the safety card and think youre paranoid?

-who IS paranoid when any other device besides a laptop gets turned on on the plane? I aint never in life cracked open the "acceptable devices" pamphlet to know what would be an "acceptable device" but fuck that, dont turn on NOTHING LOL. I be getting the fllight attendant's attention, asking for more peanuts (and I dont even like peanuts LOL) just so she can come see the shit they got and make em turn it off if it aint safe LOL. If she dont say nothing, I know its straight. I dont care, call me what you want, I bet if we go down, it wont be because of some damn unacceptable device LOL

-who gets such a thorough fligt attendant on the connecting flight, that the one from the previous flight just seemed like a LAZY bitch? LOL Let her say some extra shit that the first flight attendant aint say, change your WHOLE experience LOL

Speaking of the flight attendants, they kill me when they get attitudes. How you gonna be a stewardess and not be a people person, and dont want nobody to ask you no questions? LOL WTF? This heffa asked me what I want to drink right? So Im like "tea." She hands me a can of Nestea Iced Tea and a cup of ice.

*staring into the camera*

Now Ima reign it in for a second, because maybe its just me, but if I had wanted iced tea, I probably would have said iced tea, no? I aint want no damn iced tea LOL. She was about to move on to the next passenger row, so I touched her arm. "Om sorry, do you have any hot tea?" All she said was "no" but her face was giving me "no, bitch, we dont have hot tea, do you see anybody else on this muthafucka with some hot damn tea?" LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO! Good thing I didnt spring for some alcohol, I might have had to cuss about my $5 wine coming with a side of attitude LOL.

Make me sick LOL

Ok let me go yall, I have to shower and change to go hob-nob with the big whigs. We gon talk about these damn drink tickets too LOL. Ill save that for next time LOL.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Reality TV Fckry

Ok real quick...

Did yall catch the For The Love of Ray J reunion show last night? WTF was that??? LOL

Let me tell yall some things I didnt quite understand LOL.

1. Luscious, how you gonna throw a fit about Ray J's friends chanting "Luscious! She smashed the homeys!" to the point that you elect to leave the show, then turn around on the reunion show and brag about it, dragging the other two in your crew under the bus with you, like that's hot?

2. Who the hell was the lady who was hosting???

3. Cocktail.....*sigh*

Ok, some of my friends came to the conclusion that the whole disaster at the end was staged, because Ray J didnt wanna stay with Mz Berry, but he didnt wanna hurt her, or thought such a scene would cause her to just back out on her own. I weighed that out and I dont buy it. One, Mz Berry is so needy and insecure that I honestly believe she would still want to be with you after that incident. She would have herself convinced that it's all a part of standing by her man. Two, there were 100 other ways to stage something that would achieve that result without crushing EVERYBODY'S image and making his own self look like a douche. I mean, lets not pretend Ray J was EVER "the man" but he at least seemed to embrace his bullshit, and he did come off likable. That's all down the drain now. If there is a Ray J 3 after this catastrophe..... *smh*

I dont find it that unbelievable for Cocktail to show up without his knowledge - he dont run a damn thing about that show. If she was willing to come on, VH1 was all about it LOL. RATINGS, RATINGS, RATINGS. Plus, what she did ended up blowing up her own spot too. Ray J put all her business on front street. I dont know about her, or any of yall, but Im not cool enough with NOBODY to make myself look like an ass on national TV just so they can get outta dating somebody, when nobody on earth expects it to last anyway. I think Cocktail was still salty that he did a second season, because she claims to have loved him so much and thought she was the one.

COME ON SON!

Staged? Nah, I dont buy it. But Ray J is officially a herb now. He cant ever in life talk about having a strong pimp hand, cause he might have some ho's but he cant keep em in check LOL. Newsflash, Ray J: groupies are just ho's with a celebrity preference LOL. Having a stable of em does not make you a player LOL. You have officially solidified your place as never being anything more than "Brandy's brother" LOL.

You can go sit down now.

FYI

I will be out of town on business for the next three days, so forgive me if I'm unable to blog during that time. I am taking my laptop, so as long as things dont get completely crazy, I should be able to squeeze a couple out. As hectic as it was, I had a really good day yesterday. I've got a blog in me about that, but it doesn't seem to wanna come out just yet. So prayers up and blessings down, my people - I will be back just as soona s I can.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

www.williamstracy.com/wordpress

So a friend of mine (who made me smile today) needs a little help. He had to create a blog for one of his classes, and he needs to generate some traffic, so it would be really, really cool if you guys drop in and leave a comment here and there to help his grade. The link is over there >>>>>>>> on my blogroll for easy access. That's it. Easy right? YOU CAN DO IT! (Now go! LOL)

Thanks.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

It'll Be Alright

I stopped watching the 11:00 news because the bloody images and megativity it boasted began to disturb my sleep. I catch some of it sometimes still by accident, when checking the weather, but I make a conscious effort to avoid it because it makes one feel such despair about the state of the world. How can we see this every night and have hope for our future? I find it difficult.

But there are little sparks of light to be found elsewhere.

There are so many people on my FB that are back in school, trying to better themselves, I cant help but be optimistic.

There are so many people coming to the aid of Haiti, I cant help but be optimistic.

And today my daughter decided that she wanted to be the first female African-American President. Even if she only decided it because I told her (to her surprise) that no one had ever done it before LOL Im proud that she would even believe enough in herself to say it out loud. She will probably want to be 90 other things in the next month, but this is the one I'm gonna remember, and should her face one day be plastered all over the TV, even if its only (only LOL) as a Congresswoman, I will flash back to the freeze frame of her smile tonight and be just as proud. Shoot for the moon and land among the stars and all that, you know.

She started asking a million questions about why Nelson Mandela was imprisoned and why Dr. King was assassinated, and how did we get all these rights if people didnt want us to have them, and my explanations to her created just a few moments where I saw her listening intently, trying to understand the struggle. At 8, that is no small feat, but she was truly trying. I ended by telling her that because of everything I had just said, she can never forget to vote, and she can never be satisfied when something is being imposed upon her that she feels in her soul is not right. "A lot of people died for you to have these rights," I said, "so never forget." "Ok, Mommy," she said.

Oh....... *pause*...........I cant help but be optimistic.

All it takes is a few good sparks. My baby is one of them, and she is gonna do great things. Mark my words. Maybe the world isnt going to hell in a handbasket. Maybe it is and I have just chosen to set my eyes on the silver lining.

Digfiles - Episode 1

So me and the midgets go to Walmart today to do some grocery shopping. My daughter has to go to the bathroom as soon as we arrive, so I go with her, realizing I had to go too. She goes into the second stall and I wait for another one to become available. The first and third stall free up at the same time, so I mosey on toward the first one, TOTALLY not liking the sight of the decrepid looking woman who came out of stall #3, only to find a seam trail of fucken BLOOD dripping down the front of the bowl. I turned around to glare at the older woman who came out of it, surprised she wasn't post-menopausal, and rolled my eyes, unnoticed - nasty ass.

Forced to follow the decrepid lady, I double the seat covers and "pay the water bill" but just before I turned to grab some toilet paper, I notice feet outside the stall door that arent my daughter's. My eyes shift over to the inch-or-so wide split in the door and see this little asian girl, about 9 or 10, standing there just watching me. UGH, how creepy! I dont move at first, I just stare back like "WTF are you looking at? Dont you know not to watch people pee through the crack? Where is your mama" LOL I rolled my eyes again and maneuvered myself squarely out of view before wrapping it up. I glare at her too as I pass her, on my way to the sink, prepared to scrub my hands until they bled LOL.

I grab my baby and meet back up with my son, who was outside of the bathroom, waiting. We start our shopping, then get hung up in one of the aisles, where there had to be 800 shopping carts, causing a jam. No biggee, the kids will take a few minutes picking out the quick dinners they want anyway. They are going through the motions when I feel a hole being burned in my neck. I turn around - its my mother.

Great.

"Hi, Mom." LOL

She not only talks us to death, like she didnt just see all three of us twice in the last week, but she conned me into giving her the bag of fresh cut collards I grabbed, that happened to be the very last bag. THEN she trailed us through the next three aisles, browbeating me about buying wheat bread. I dont wanna buy wheat bread LOL. Its not even as big as this loaf of white bread, and it costs more too. Needless to say, I ended up with both. I thought we lost her for a while after that, but she popped right back up, with two pair of legging/sweatpant thingies for my daughter. Now she wants to harass me about buying them and twist my arm into going to look through the other clothes, but sorry, that is where I draw the line. Nothing at all against people who do, but I dont buy clothes at Walmart - I have my reasons. I also dont really dig JC Penny, so the mention of their huge sale kinda went in one ear and out the other too. But my mother was not going to let her favorite grandchild leave without those pants and the wretched Jonas Brothers shirt she picked out to match. Fine - as long as YOU pay for em.

$150 later (sent through her to another family member who needed some assistance) we were finally free of my mother's interference and could continue. Now we're in the pasta aisle, looking for elbow macaroni in a "regular people" sized box. Who the hell needs a damn box of elbows this big? Im not cooking for the whole block, damn! Couldnt find a smaller box, so I figured we would do without until we actually needed them, but I didnt get out of the aisle fast enough to avoid the next noteworthy moment.

This spanish guy and some chick, who I assume was his girlfriend, slide toward the shelf, behind me, and I hear him saying "Let me tell you something, and dont ever forget it. See this brand right here? Dont EVER buy this brand. You know why? I use to work for this company and they use to fire people like all the time and the dudes would be mad and they would piss and spit in it and shit."

*___*


Ok yeah, Im turning around to see what brand he's talking about LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Luckily it was some sauce brand that I had never noticed before - I definitely dont buy it. I cant really tell you what it was, but the writing appeared to be in cursive or fancy letters, and I think it started with a V. Stick with the Hunts and the Pregos and the Ragus and the shit you know, and you'll be ok LOL.

I really hadnt gotten everything I wanted to get yet, but the superbowl slash I-just-got-my-stamps crowd was wearing on my nerves and our cart was filled way over capacity, so I resolved to just finish shopping on another day, and headed to the register. There was only one person ahead of me in line, but they bought .... like.... everything in the store LOL so it took a minute. We loaded up the conveyor belt with our groceries and because our cart was so full, I had my son go grab another cart for the bags to go in, while we were still unloading.

The first handful of bags go into the new cart, and I am adjusting them, to make room for others when I notice the bagging is totally subpar. This dude has heavy cans mixed in with every damn thing. I had to regroup damn near everything he bagged so far. At that point, I heard myself say outloud "really???" and gave Shaggy a side eye. He didnt seem to realize it was directed at him, so at that point, I let my son deal with making space, while I watched the cashier. He'd put some random shit together, and before I pulled the bag off the posts, I'd pull stuff out and put it in with something else. I was shaking my head the whole time, like not only are you slow as hell, you're retarded. #BagboyFAIL.

I was never so glad to leave a Walmart in my life, and this was the same Walmart where the lady ripped my eyebrows off.

I cut her a glare on my way out too...

Friday, February 5, 2010

Short and Sweet

My body is killing me right now. You wanna know the best way to lose weight? Let an 8yr old run you around the damn mall for 2 hours. I promise you, you wont have NO PROBLEMS LOL.

I think Im just gonna take it easy tonight. An old friend who is trying to become a new friend is acting like he wants to hang out, but I dont think Im messing with him. He is one of those "optional" type folks (you know, youre not a priority, youre an option?) so I dont think he needs to be a priority of mine either. Maybe he will finally get that this same nonsense is why he became an old friend in the first place. I need to make that my FB status LOL.

Sidebar: Bought a $60 dress for $40 and didnt know it was on sale til I got to the register - SCORE!!

Siiiiiiigh....... Being a girl is so great :)

Thursday, February 4, 2010

In Admiration

So human psychology is my purpose in life, right, but currently, Im in sales and business development for a pretty large communications company, with a nation-wide presence. My conversations get pretty technical - probably more technical than most of the people in my same position (just because I have had a little more exposure to certain technologies and protocols in my previous positions than most of them) but we have actual engineers who are paid to develop solutions based on the needs of the business, so when we go out to see our clients, and are developing a solution, we have to take one of them with us, so they can sign off on the provisioning, saying, yes, this is indeed what the business needs, and I have surveyed the location, and "this" is how it needs to be configured.

So there is one engineer in particular that I use for most of my appointments. She and I get along really well, she is very knowledgeable, and she doesnt keep me waiting for the documents I need to get things rolling. She and I went to survey a location one of my accounts is moving into, and the owner of the building was there, still getting the place together. She and I got into a conversation about something being amiss with the setup, as it relates to what the customer was going to need, and the worker we were talking to didnt really have the answers we needed, so we had him call the owner up.

The owner comes in and from the time he enters the room, he has this demeanor that tells you the next ten minutes of your life are going to be interesting, so I fell back and let my engineer do her job. He realizes what we are there for, and his whole attitude goes to shit. Now he is all cocky and arrogant, like oh they sent YOU??? Like because we were women, we couldnt possibly know what the hell we were talking about, and his every response to every question my engineer asked him was given in a condescending tone, like talking to us was a waste of his time. He said pretty clearly at one point that he felt like he was talking to the wrong person. This man was rolling his eyes, cutting her off, and being totally rude to her, to the point that she started putting long pauses between statements. I could see it all in her face that she felt disrespected and disregarded, so I felt really bad for her. The customer was looking at us like she gets the same shit from him, and the worker was looking like he just wanted to crawl under a rock and die.

Now I have to give it to my engineer, because it was very obvious, initially, that this man was getting under her skin, but she took some deep breaths and handled it very professionally, which, as professional as I am, I dont think I could have done. He wasnt even talking to me and I wanted to smack him. I felt my face tense up a couple of different times like um... who the fuck you think you talkin to? LOL She kept that mask on though - good job.

So we walked back to the building my customer is currently occupying and the woman told us that she was embarrassed by this guy's behavior, but he talks to her the same way. So, we go back into the suite and look at some things, when a question was posed to my customer that she couldnt answer. Strangely enough, the owner is in this building now too. The engineer asked the customer to get him. All of a sudden, he wants to act like he has some sense. He is still answering with a bit of a tone, but nowhere near how he was in the other building. When he left, the customer (who is the admin at the business) said it was because her bosses were within earshot and the guy wouldnt want them to hear him talking down to us, or they would have laid into him.

I am still trying to understand why she hasnt told them about this, but I digress.

So I am still in such awe at this man, when my engineer and I are walking back to my car, I dont say a word. I can only imagine what is going through her mind, and I didnt want to add anything to it. We get back to my car and get in, and she breaks the silence: "What a ...DINK!" LMAOOOOO! She said she wanted to say something else, and I knew exactly what word she was looking for! I let her rant and rave about the situation, and all I could do was laugh. Here is this relatively tiny woman, probably 45 or so (she has a 14 yr old son, so Im guessing she isnt much older than that) who had just exhibited so much restraint and poise, sitting in my passenger seat KIRKING OUT! LOL It was just hysterical.

I have to admit, she was my hero today, because I dont know if I could have done it. But when I thought about it, it wasnt just about this man needing to be cut down to size. Our customer was present. The building owner's workers were present. And when we are out in the field, we represent our company at all times. The worst thing she could have done was to spaz out on this guy and then have people talking about it, or have that guy go back to the owners of the business we were there surveying for, persuading them to do business with somebody else.

I guess the moral to this story is that you never know who's watching. In this case, we were well aware, but the ramifications of a misstep could have been a lot bigger than that moment, and there are a lot of incidents in life that are much the same. We have to learn to control our emotions so we dont end up doing something that we will later regret. I've gotten very good at that over the years, but it appears I still have some work to do, because I am telling yall, I just dont know if I could have done it LOL.

So Karen, this one's for you, hun. Kudos.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Nerve

So I know this guy right?

I've known him since forever and really couldnt stand him for the earlier piece of that time because he just played too much. You know the type: always wanna talk junk to you to try to get you to curse him out because he thinks its funny, either not realizing or not caring that it makes him look like a douche. In later years, I really didnt see him that much - hardly ever, actually - but when I did, he was cool. He would just speak, maybe come give me a hug, chop it up for a minute or two, and move along.

So I see him one night at this club, about a year ago. There was a comedy show that night, and apparently he had performed. This fool has had about 17 different careers in the time I've known him, I mean, he just aint know WHAT he wanted to do with himself. He comes from a little bit of money and has always been spoiled to death, so I'm sure he's been taken care of all along, as long he was doing SOMETHING, but the point is, I didnt know he was now doing comedy LOL.

I admit, I chuckled a little bit like comedy, dude? For real? LOL He always THOUGHT he was funny, but I didnt know if he really could pull off stand-up or not. Still, when he asked me to buy one of his DVDs, I went ahead and bought it, just offa GP. We came up together, I like to support my people, I bought it. Watched it a couple weeks later and he was... okay. With some polishing, he'll be really good and if he makes the right connections, he might be able to do something with it.

Anyway, ever since, this dude has been harassing me about going to one of his shows. I am not adverse to it, but every single time that he has had one so far, I have either had other plans, or didnt really have the money to spare for tickets (hey, its a recession! LOL) so I havent been able to make one yet. Do you know this dude had the nerve to try to go off on me? LOL

First of all, he is pasting all these fliers and advertisements on all my online pages and again, I support him trying to do something positive, so even though he never even asked my permission to do it, I always leave them up so my other friends who may not know him have the opportunity to see them. I even HANDED OUT fliers for him once. I even reposted one of his statuses once, advertising his show. I mean, Im helping out!

He IM's me one day about a show and again, I told him I couldn't make it. This dude spazzes on me! LOL "People are always complaining about there not being anything to do here, but when we try to do a show, people dont show up, and by the time they get ready to, there wont be a show anymore because nobody supported."

*staring into the camera*

First of all..... IDK who "people" is but even though I have never made a show, I support in other ways. How many other people can you say do? Secondly, I never told you I would come to one and then never showed up, like a lot of them do. I let you know off the rip that I cannot make it, and I cant help it if your show is always on dates that I have other things going on or my money isnt quite right. Furthermore, you acting like a baby right now, yelling at me like I owe you money is not gonna get me to a show any faster.

"You know what, forget it. Im not inviting you to nothing else!"

Ok so now you wanna throw a tantrum. That is sooooo not cute.

People cam be so selfish sometimes. I never even LIKED this dude for more than half the time I have known him, but I still try to do my part, and he just dont appreciate it. Spoiled brat!

That is whats wrong with the world today though. People's perspectives are all fucked up. I cant tell you how many times my "couch" gets cluttered with people's complaints about what they dont have and what they wish they had and they never pay attention to the things they do have. People dont appreciate SHIT. And I know that story might have only an abstract connection to this thought, but yall know Im hella random LOL.

I just needed to vent LOL.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

COME ON SON!




http://www.philly.com/philly/entertainment/celebrities/20100201_ap_starsgathertocoverwearetheworldforhaiti.html

Quincy Jones stole my idea.

#imjustsayin

Monday, February 1, 2010

You Call That A Tribute???





Somebody tell me...

WHAT IN THE SAM HILL WAS THE GRAMMYS DOING last night with that Michael Jackson tribute? Were they all the way serious with that bullshit? LOL Really???

First of all, Im not understanding why of all the songs this man wrote, sang, or otherwise made famous they would choose "Earth Song" to do as a tribute. Ok, I get it - Haiti's in turmoil, tsunamis and hurricanes all over the place, we need to reach out, blah, blah, blah. But I would have preferred "Man In The Mirror" if that's the case. Or "Heal The World". Who is responsible for this? I want a name dammit! LOL

Second of all, where the hell did they get that lineup from? Usher - okay. Smokey - eh..... I get it - okay. J-Hud, Carrie Underwood, Celine Deon - I'm sorry, what? LOL

Carrie Underwood, dude? Now dont get me wrong, I love Carrie Underwood, and I have to give her props - she put her foot in it - but who had the bright idea of including her in this tribute? What exactly about Michael Jackson would make somebody think Carrie Underwood? They missed me with that one. Celine too - LOVE her - but seriously? Was every other person who we, the people, would have imagined paying tribute on life support somewhere? ALL of em? LOL

And, again, I say EARTH SONG? LOL. #FAIL

Now see, the Grammys and CBS both need their asses kicked for this one. Nevermind the fact that all these people who went out and got 3D glasses to watch it pretty much MISSED the thing, everybody woulda been so much better off if they had listened to my suggestion. I wrote the network after MJ died, suggesting that they reassemble the surviving members of the We Are The World choir (which only one of them that I can think of - Ray Charles - is dead) and have them do it as a tribute, and I wrote them within a couple of weeks of his death to ensure that they had ample time to get it together. All I asked for in return was a ticket to see it live. But nooooooooooooooo. Them cheap bastards didnt wanna send me a ticket so they didnt use my idea LOL (this is what Im telling myself because nothing else makes any damn sense) and that is fine but at least come up with something better. As much as I HATED the BET tribute to Michael, THEIR shit was better than this was, and of course, with Janet doing her duet with his video image, the VMAs get the award for best tribute. When the VMAs get the award, dude, you need to rethink your purpose in life.

COME ON, SON! LOL

Suffice it to say that I was highly disappointed. All these months have gone by and thats all they came up with? *smh* You fuck up a tribute to the king of all that is musical and on top of it, I dont get any fuckery from Kanye to make it all better? LOL

FAIL, Grammys. FAIL.