So I finally had the talk with my son about condoms and how to use them properly. Right now I think he's in the bathroom throwing up and washing the skeeve off LOL. I dont care, he aint bout to bring no damn babies up in here LOL
When I first asked him if he was ready to do it, he was like "ugh, mom!!! no!!! ugh!!!" Yeah, yeah, we are GOING to have this conversation, so its up to you. We can do it now and get it over with, or we can do it later this weekend. He chose to get it over with.
Now let me just say that I intended to do it weeks and weeks ago, but different things kept me distracted, so I didnt get around to it. Last week, he came downstairs and randomly asked me about birth control, how it works, whether you have to take it every day and all this kinda shit. My internal response was WTF??? Why is he asking me about birth control? But my maternal instincts told me that that was not the time to hit him with a barrage of questions. I was just glad he felt comfortable enough to come and ask me, and I didnt want to counter that trust by making him feel uncomfortable with a bunch of questions. Safe space. So I just answered his questions and kept it moving, thinking just to myself that I'd drink a bottle of Drano after he went to bed LOL
So I went upstairs tonight and got a Durex out of my stash. I dont use them shits - somebody left it here one night, who knows how long ago, after I was like yeah, no, LOL. Im a condom snob, sorry, so the Durex made itself useful for demonstration purposes only LOL. Shawty looked like he was going to pass out the second I sat down next to him and tore it open. Oh boy, stop it. Come on now, pay attention. "Mom!" I shot him "the look" and got a little more cooperation LOL. I used the narrow neck of a vase to demonsttate, since we were out of bananas and I dont generally buy cucumbers LOL. I talked him through putting it on and leaving room at the end and holding it when he pulls out, so it doesnt slide off. Even though he looked a little nauseous, I think he was paying attention. When I was done, I asked if he had any questions and he simply said no and went upstairs. Thats when I heard the water running in the sink LOL. So dramatic LOL
I bet he had questions but figured if he didnt ask any, it would be over faster LOL. Im sure it wasnt very comfortable for him, but dammit, I cant trust anybody else to tell him what he needs to know. He's going to 7th grade this year and girls these days are fast as hell. I'd have to beat the fetus out of some little harlot, trying to trap my boy into something, I swear, and jail aint a good look for me LOL. But even though he probably saw his life flash before his eyes, I bet he was curious about how to do it and is, somewhere deep down, glad I showed him. He wont admit it for another few years, but I know he is.
Fuck you, statistics. Active parenting: #FTW
Friday, July 30, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Day Trip
So I had to make a day trip to NYC yesterday for a job interview. The company flew me down, so of course, I was going LOL. Flew Jet Blue going in, and that flight was great. Nice stewardess, timely and efficient, no turbulence, beautiful sky, everything. Plus they have Direct Tv, so the flight is over before you know it. I love them.
But these muthafuckas had me on Delta on the way back. I. Hate. Delta.
Flight was supposed to leave at 8:59. Why the hell didn’t it even BOARD until 11:15? I didn’t get home til 12:30 last night, tired as fuck. They had me crammed in that last seat – you know the one that doesn’t recline? Right by the bathroom, next to a man who has no concept of personal space. I felt like we were spooning while we slept. Seriously LOL.
Then there was this lady with a cryin ass baby that for whatever reason did not want to breast feed to sleep. How ridiculous do you look on a plane, trying to shove your boob into a baby’s mouth, who doesn’t want it? LOL The baby was obviously very tired and just couldn’t be made comfortable but I aint wanna hear that shit, that late on a Wednesday. He looked at me for a few seconds at one point and I gave him the evil eye squint. Take your ass to sleep, or Im gonna stick you in the overhead compartment! Im sure that wasn’t the reason, but he did find his way to sleep shortly after LOL.
Then I come home and my house is in shambles. There are papers all over the living room floor, the fans are still on full blast, Im tripping over High School Musical 3 dance mats and pencils and shit and there are sunflower seeds in my tub. WTF were these kids doing in here, and why did my sister not make them clean up before she took them? Im about to leave a sternly worded note on the door for them to see when they get back LOL. They lucky Im going in to the office today, or I’d be waiting on the porch for them with my Joe Jackson double wide!
The good news is, the interview went well, and if I land the gig, I will likely be located in DC, as opposed to NYC, so we shall see what happens.
But these muthafuckas had me on Delta on the way back. I. Hate. Delta.
Flight was supposed to leave at 8:59. Why the hell didn’t it even BOARD until 11:15? I didn’t get home til 12:30 last night, tired as fuck. They had me crammed in that last seat – you know the one that doesn’t recline? Right by the bathroom, next to a man who has no concept of personal space. I felt like we were spooning while we slept. Seriously LOL.
Then there was this lady with a cryin ass baby that for whatever reason did not want to breast feed to sleep. How ridiculous do you look on a plane, trying to shove your boob into a baby’s mouth, who doesn’t want it? LOL The baby was obviously very tired and just couldn’t be made comfortable but I aint wanna hear that shit, that late on a Wednesday. He looked at me for a few seconds at one point and I gave him the evil eye squint. Take your ass to sleep, or Im gonna stick you in the overhead compartment! Im sure that wasn’t the reason, but he did find his way to sleep shortly after LOL.
Then I come home and my house is in shambles. There are papers all over the living room floor, the fans are still on full blast, Im tripping over High School Musical 3 dance mats and pencils and shit and there are sunflower seeds in my tub. WTF were these kids doing in here, and why did my sister not make them clean up before she took them? Im about to leave a sternly worded note on the door for them to see when they get back LOL. They lucky Im going in to the office today, or I’d be waiting on the porch for them with my Joe Jackson double wide!
The good news is, the interview went well, and if I land the gig, I will likely be located in DC, as opposed to NYC, so we shall see what happens.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Its Complicated
I was cleaning my room over the weekend and found an old journal from 2008. I read through about half of it, ending with an entry about somebody I havent spoken about at all on here (I dont think) or written about up to that point in the book. Its weird saying that, because this is a person who was, up until around that time, a very active part of my life, even when he wasnt, if that makes any sense.
We have a very complicated relationship. Always have. Its hard even trying to explain it to somebody, because we dont even know how to classify it half the time. Its changed some, like I said, in the last couple of years, but I was reminded yesterday and today that while it has shifted a little, its definitely still very complicated. Yesterday a smile that I couldnt get rid of, prompted by something very small. Today, a flush of emotion that brought me to tears. Its crazy how a person can be so plugged in to you as to evoke reactions like that when you never see them, barely talk to them, but share a story. I thought I shook that. Guess I didnt.
There is always so much to say and I can never find the words. They just spin around in my head, fighting for position in sentences that wont form. But I think he gets it. I dont think he ever expects to hear it - whatever 'it' is. And thats good, because I would hate to disappoint him.
We have a very complicated relationship. Always have. Its hard even trying to explain it to somebody, because we dont even know how to classify it half the time. Its changed some, like I said, in the last couple of years, but I was reminded yesterday and today that while it has shifted a little, its definitely still very complicated. Yesterday a smile that I couldnt get rid of, prompted by something very small. Today, a flush of emotion that brought me to tears. Its crazy how a person can be so plugged in to you as to evoke reactions like that when you never see them, barely talk to them, but share a story. I thought I shook that. Guess I didnt.
There is always so much to say and I can never find the words. They just spin around in my head, fighting for position in sentences that wont form. But I think he gets it. I dont think he ever expects to hear it - whatever 'it' is. And thats good, because I would hate to disappoint him.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Wedding Shenanigans
So I went to a wedding today. I didn’t even know the girl – she’s one of my friend’s co-workers – but I was invited as the +1, and there was an open bar, after all, so I went. Of course LOL.
There weren’t very many people at the wedding – less than 50, I’d guess – and I have to say, they were a very…interesting-looking couple LOL. The chick reminded me of a heavy set version of Carrie, from King of Queens, and the groom looked like some stoner dude from a movie like Clerks or Half Baked, except older LOL. Apparently he’s legally blind, but that didn’t explain his doofiness LOL. I saw his mama though. I totally get it LOL.
The priest was trying to be a comedian, with these little cute-but-dry jokes, and I was annoyed as hell that he kept making us stand and sit, over and over again, but I guess that’s how they get down in the Catholic church, so whatever. Nice ceremony, though. I almost didn’t notice that my girl and I were the only black people in the building, until the people in the receiving line, on the way out, tried way too hard to make us feel comfortable. I really wish this one lady hadn’t. She smelled like a night of bad decisions LOL. She hugged me and started talking, and her breath totally cleared my sinuses. Someone definitely left the communion wine unattended.
We had a couple of hours before the reception, so we went home and regrouped. We arrived at the spot and walked up to the tented area that was set up outside, and got caught up in a small cluster of people, all waiting to speak to the bride. Some helpful ass waitress walks up to us and says, “Oh I think the wedding you’re here for is inside, it hasn’t started yet.” We just looked at her, confused for a second, then my friend tells her that we’re where we’re supposed to be, and she apologizes and rushes off. The bride goes, “There is an African-American couple getting married on the other side.”
**staring into the camera** Seriously??? LOL
We shake it off and head for the open bar. A few minutes later, two of my friend’s other co-workers come in, one with an adorable 10-month old baby, with no shoes. Why do people do that? I know its hot, but damn, at least bring some in the baby bag so she aint gotta be walking through rain puddles later barefoot (yeah she was). But I digress. They were both really cool, and we had a good time with them at our table.
Also at our table was some other broad, who obviously never had the pleasure of being told that she talked way too much. It was tolerable at first, but after a while, it got really annoying and I had to tune her out. Later, I almost found myself embarrassing her. It came up in conversation earlier how the waitress thought we were here for the other wedding, and she thought it appropriate to come back to the table, after a trip inside to the bar, and comment how there was one table inside my friend would have been able to sit at, because it was the one table that had black people at it (the black bride had a white groom and there were only a handful of other black people there, and everyone else was white)…… again SERIOUSLY???? On what planet is it cute to say shit like that? Stop trying so fucken hard to be “down” and eat your fucken stuffed mushrooms. By that time, I had made the mistake of checking my voicemail and was pissed off by a message my mama left me too, so she avoided a reading by a very narrow margin. Luckily for her, I was in the process of regaining my center, and I didn’t want to add to the negativity that had already managed to contaminate my spirit. From that moment on, she just didn’t exist.
We stayed about another 30-45 minutes after that, during which, my friend had the DJ play the Electric Slide, so she could fulfill her obligatory “one dance” quota. I took some video, because I knew it was gonna be a hot mess with the folks who would, no doubt, traipse their rhythm deficient asses out there, trying to keep up, so it may or may not be posted below. I haven’t decided if I feel like uploading it, so hey, we’ll all be surprised LOL. (update: my cell phone records video in a file type not recognized by my laptop so no video for you - #uploadFAIL) I also took video of the employee who was sweeping out water puddles LOL. Yes, thats exactly what I said. It decided to rain cats and dogs, nearly the entire time we were out there, and water was raining into the open sides and leaking in through small holes in the top of the tent. We had to switch tables at one point because of it. There were mosquitos everywhere, which made it very difficult to enjoy the food and drinks. Im surprised I made it outta there with no bites, but of course, it might just be that I wont notice them until they start itching tomorrow. *smh* Get it together, Crescent Beach.
Before the bullshit set in, as it always does when my mama enters the picture, I was having a good time and that is what I choose to hold on to from today. My girl and I talked a little about marriage and weddings and how calm and collected the bride was, which is not something you see very often. She aint care – she was off in the cut, still in her wedding dress, smoking cigarettes every few minutes, like whatever LOL. I totally wanna get married now, just to be the cool, calm and collected bride LOL. I don’t even think Im inviting my mama, cause she don’t know how to fucken act LOL.
There weren’t very many people at the wedding – less than 50, I’d guess – and I have to say, they were a very…interesting-looking couple LOL. The chick reminded me of a heavy set version of Carrie, from King of Queens, and the groom looked like some stoner dude from a movie like Clerks or Half Baked, except older LOL. Apparently he’s legally blind, but that didn’t explain his doofiness LOL. I saw his mama though. I totally get it LOL.
The priest was trying to be a comedian, with these little cute-but-dry jokes, and I was annoyed as hell that he kept making us stand and sit, over and over again, but I guess that’s how they get down in the Catholic church, so whatever. Nice ceremony, though. I almost didn’t notice that my girl and I were the only black people in the building, until the people in the receiving line, on the way out, tried way too hard to make us feel comfortable. I really wish this one lady hadn’t. She smelled like a night of bad decisions LOL. She hugged me and started talking, and her breath totally cleared my sinuses. Someone definitely left the communion wine unattended.
We had a couple of hours before the reception, so we went home and regrouped. We arrived at the spot and walked up to the tented area that was set up outside, and got caught up in a small cluster of people, all waiting to speak to the bride. Some helpful ass waitress walks up to us and says, “Oh I think the wedding you’re here for is inside, it hasn’t started yet.” We just looked at her, confused for a second, then my friend tells her that we’re where we’re supposed to be, and she apologizes and rushes off. The bride goes, “There is an African-American couple getting married on the other side.”
**staring into the camera** Seriously??? LOL
We shake it off and head for the open bar. A few minutes later, two of my friend’s other co-workers come in, one with an adorable 10-month old baby, with no shoes. Why do people do that? I know its hot, but damn, at least bring some in the baby bag so she aint gotta be walking through rain puddles later barefoot (yeah she was). But I digress. They were both really cool, and we had a good time with them at our table.
Also at our table was some other broad, who obviously never had the pleasure of being told that she talked way too much. It was tolerable at first, but after a while, it got really annoying and I had to tune her out. Later, I almost found myself embarrassing her. It came up in conversation earlier how the waitress thought we were here for the other wedding, and she thought it appropriate to come back to the table, after a trip inside to the bar, and comment how there was one table inside my friend would have been able to sit at, because it was the one table that had black people at it (the black bride had a white groom and there were only a handful of other black people there, and everyone else was white)…… again SERIOUSLY???? On what planet is it cute to say shit like that? Stop trying so fucken hard to be “down” and eat your fucken stuffed mushrooms. By that time, I had made the mistake of checking my voicemail and was pissed off by a message my mama left me too, so she avoided a reading by a very narrow margin. Luckily for her, I was in the process of regaining my center, and I didn’t want to add to the negativity that had already managed to contaminate my spirit. From that moment on, she just didn’t exist.
We stayed about another 30-45 minutes after that, during which, my friend had the DJ play the Electric Slide, so she could fulfill her obligatory “one dance” quota. I took some video, because I knew it was gonna be a hot mess with the folks who would, no doubt, traipse their rhythm deficient asses out there, trying to keep up, so it may or may not be posted below. I haven’t decided if I feel like uploading it, so hey, we’ll all be surprised LOL. (update: my cell phone records video in a file type not recognized by my laptop so no video for you - #uploadFAIL) I also took video of the employee who was sweeping out water puddles LOL. Yes, thats exactly what I said. It decided to rain cats and dogs, nearly the entire time we were out there, and water was raining into the open sides and leaking in through small holes in the top of the tent. We had to switch tables at one point because of it. There were mosquitos everywhere, which made it very difficult to enjoy the food and drinks. Im surprised I made it outta there with no bites, but of course, it might just be that I wont notice them until they start itching tomorrow. *smh* Get it together, Crescent Beach.
Before the bullshit set in, as it always does when my mama enters the picture, I was having a good time and that is what I choose to hold on to from today. My girl and I talked a little about marriage and weddings and how calm and collected the bride was, which is not something you see very often. She aint care – she was off in the cut, still in her wedding dress, smoking cigarettes every few minutes, like whatever LOL. I totally wanna get married now, just to be the cool, calm and collected bride LOL. I don’t even think Im inviting my mama, cause she don’t know how to fucken act LOL.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Bitchassness
I was watching the Ultimate Merger (Omarosa's "let me see if I can find me some love" show) and the incident that took place just compelled me to address some shit.
If you in a relationship, right.... and you fuck up, you are ultimately responsible for that fuckup. You should count yourself lucky if someone happens to give you a heads up to let you know that your man/woman knows about the indiscretion, because it gives you a chance to collect yourself and prepare for the inquisition. When you get caught red-handed, (a la video tape) there aint a whole lot you can say or do, but at least you arent gonna be caught off guard, lookin like a dead fish, with your eyes bugged out and your jaw dropped like a big mouthed bass when its brought to your attention.
If you are up shit creek, the situation aint gonna change just because you wanna create a diversion by dragging the person who warned you into the middle of it. Why would you do that? The fact that you would, KNOWING full well that your man/woman gave this person this information directly and in private, makes you a bitch. Thats right, I said it LOL.
Man up and take the lumps for the shit you did, and stop that sucker shit, telling on other people, acting like you werent trying to deflect. Yes the hell you were. But where is the logic in that? What, if you going down, somebody going with you? WTF? All you end up doing, in the event that your man/woman forgives and chooses to move forward with you, (which is a longshot) is fuck up a good connect LOL. Your man/woman talks to this person and trusts them enough to tell thim shit like this. You need this person on your side, and you need not fuck up the relationship THEY have with each other either, cause you want the information to remain free-flowing. Is it me or is that shit hella bitchass? I mean nevermind that its just plain dumb, its mad wack. I wouldnt tell his punk ass nothing else. He couldnt get the day of the week outta me.
In the end, the dude that was the loser got sent packing, as he should have, but I know a couple dudes that are guilty of this type of shit in my real life and its so sickening. Stop dry snitchin! LOL And get your damn pimp life together. If you were better at your shit, you wouldnt have these problems in the first place! LOL
If you in a relationship, right.... and you fuck up, you are ultimately responsible for that fuckup. You should count yourself lucky if someone happens to give you a heads up to let you know that your man/woman knows about the indiscretion, because it gives you a chance to collect yourself and prepare for the inquisition. When you get caught red-handed, (a la video tape) there aint a whole lot you can say or do, but at least you arent gonna be caught off guard, lookin like a dead fish, with your eyes bugged out and your jaw dropped like a big mouthed bass when its brought to your attention.
If you are up shit creek, the situation aint gonna change just because you wanna create a diversion by dragging the person who warned you into the middle of it. Why would you do that? The fact that you would, KNOWING full well that your man/woman gave this person this information directly and in private, makes you a bitch. Thats right, I said it LOL.
Man up and take the lumps for the shit you did, and stop that sucker shit, telling on other people, acting like you werent trying to deflect. Yes the hell you were. But where is the logic in that? What, if you going down, somebody going with you? WTF? All you end up doing, in the event that your man/woman forgives and chooses to move forward with you, (which is a longshot) is fuck up a good connect LOL. Your man/woman talks to this person and trusts them enough to tell thim shit like this. You need this person on your side, and you need not fuck up the relationship THEY have with each other either, cause you want the information to remain free-flowing. Is it me or is that shit hella bitchass? I mean nevermind that its just plain dumb, its mad wack. I wouldnt tell his punk ass nothing else. He couldnt get the day of the week outta me.
In the end, the dude that was the loser got sent packing, as he should have, but I know a couple dudes that are guilty of this type of shit in my real life and its so sickening. Stop dry snitchin! LOL And get your damn pimp life together. If you were better at your shit, you wouldnt have these problems in the first place! LOL
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Digfiles: Episode 4
I adore Psych, Wednesday nights on USA. Shawn has to be the dumbest, most hysterical character ever in life. Quote of the night (after eating some kind of Japanese hotdog): "You know, you gotta give it to the Japanese, and not just because they invented the Chinese..." LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Honorable mention goes to: "So whats the deal, am I cuffing Charlotte the Harlot, or what?" LMAOOOOOOOO! Woo!
Ok maybe you had to be there LOL. ANYWAY...
.... had a really weird experience. One of my girls from college was in town. She called me last night, saying she wanted to come by and visit before she left, so Im like cool. She asked how long I would be up and I told her I would probably crash around midnight. Its like 9:00 at this time. Over the next couple of hours, a barrage of text messages and a couple of calls. First weird thing was her asking if I had cooked. Now thats not a weird question, per se, but the way she asked it was like the way some dude youre talking to would ask, like.... like you should have cooked, since they were coming LOL. At first I thought it was just a casual question like... she just wanted to know. Then when I said I had, but there wasnt any left, she said she would go grab some food and then come, and thats when I got that feeling.
So whatever.
Its 11:00 and she's still not here, but she's texting me about having finished her food and being on the way, when I thought she was planning to grab food and bring it with her. Fine, but Im dead tired by this time. 11:45 - text message saying she's about to put my address in the GPS and be here in 20 minutes. Well guess what, dude, I'll be sleep in 10. You BOUT TO put my address in the GPS? Just now, when I already told you I was going to bed at midnight? LOL Im already struggling to stay up and I gotta work in the morning. The point of my return text was "you aint leaving tonight, so Im goin to bed." Thats what I did. I just didnt get all the way to sleep before she got there at 12:05. Text message: "dang, you sleep?" Cell is ringing. I am sooooo not answering that shit. Voicemail - "yo, you sleepin? Damn. Im outside your house. I see all the lights are off, so I guess you really are sleep. Well.... ok.... I will try to catch up with you tomorrow....... *pause*...... but if you wake up in the next 10 minutes, give me a call and I can still see you."
10 minutes later, another phone call and similar voicemail, minus the 10 minutes part. I totally think she sat outside my house for that 10 minutes.
~ <--- raised eyebrow
This might be another situation where you just had to be present, but I felt like the chick that waited for some dude who was supposed to come thru, but never showed up ......*side eye* LOL...... then got tired of waiting and went to bed on principle LOL. Then dude shows up super late, completely disregarding the guidelines I set for said visit, then tried his hardest to get me to answer the phone and/or door and left the pitiful "thats cold" message on my voicemail like Im doing him wrong LOL. I really wish yall coulda heard this voicemail or saw the last couple of texts. It felt... uncomfortable.
Longer story shorter, she did end up coming by tonight and aside from a couple of suspect glares and a by-the-way mention of seeing somebody we know at Pride, which I think was a subliminal, it was fine. I should add that the kids were watching TV with us most of the time and Im not real sure how different it mighta gotten if they werent.
Now most people who knew this girl in college would say they always thought she liked girls, including myself, but I dont like to assume stuff about people and Im not in the business of asking people that. I feel like its a personal and sensitive thing, and its in poor taste to ask unless and until you are given the "in" to that conversation. That is, unless its a guy Im dating, who has some suspect tendencies, tryna bamboozle me LOL. Thats different. But I dig it otherwise - do your thing - I just dont like to be ambushed LOL.
See, I am no stranger to women hitting on me, but when its somebody youre cool with, I think a certain etiquette should be observed. You should make it known that you like girls. Be clear. Set the stage. If you dont do that, and you just start making eyes and saying slick shit, youre likely to get a knee-jerk reaction like "WTF???" where it could have been flattery, even if youre turned down. In this case, it was a lost cause regardless - if Ima go that route, she would not make the cut. But I think what disturbed me about it is that I was always giving her the benefit of the doubt so I wasnt prepared for the weirdness I observed in her behavior and commentary. Part of me still wants to attribute it to like.... lack of sleep or something LOL. I think everything was kinda subjective and circumstancial, so I dont wanna pull out my label tape, but the situation just made me think about it, in general. Ladybugs, dont ambush your friends. Its just rude LOL.
Ok maybe you had to be there LOL. ANYWAY...
.... had a really weird experience. One of my girls from college was in town. She called me last night, saying she wanted to come by and visit before she left, so Im like cool. She asked how long I would be up and I told her I would probably crash around midnight. Its like 9:00 at this time. Over the next couple of hours, a barrage of text messages and a couple of calls. First weird thing was her asking if I had cooked. Now thats not a weird question, per se, but the way she asked it was like the way some dude youre talking to would ask, like.... like you should have cooked, since they were coming LOL. At first I thought it was just a casual question like... she just wanted to know. Then when I said I had, but there wasnt any left, she said she would go grab some food and then come, and thats when I got that feeling.
So whatever.
Its 11:00 and she's still not here, but she's texting me about having finished her food and being on the way, when I thought she was planning to grab food and bring it with her. Fine, but Im dead tired by this time. 11:45 - text message saying she's about to put my address in the GPS and be here in 20 minutes. Well guess what, dude, I'll be sleep in 10. You BOUT TO put my address in the GPS? Just now, when I already told you I was going to bed at midnight? LOL Im already struggling to stay up and I gotta work in the morning. The point of my return text was "you aint leaving tonight, so Im goin to bed." Thats what I did. I just didnt get all the way to sleep before she got there at 12:05. Text message: "dang, you sleep?" Cell is ringing. I am sooooo not answering that shit. Voicemail - "yo, you sleepin? Damn. Im outside your house. I see all the lights are off, so I guess you really are sleep. Well.... ok.... I will try to catch up with you tomorrow....... *pause*...... but if you wake up in the next 10 minutes, give me a call and I can still see you."
10 minutes later, another phone call and similar voicemail, minus the 10 minutes part. I totally think she sat outside my house for that 10 minutes.
~ <--- raised eyebrow
This might be another situation where you just had to be present, but I felt like the chick that waited for some dude who was supposed to come thru, but never showed up ......*side eye* LOL...... then got tired of waiting and went to bed on principle LOL. Then dude shows up super late, completely disregarding the guidelines I set for said visit, then tried his hardest to get me to answer the phone and/or door and left the pitiful "thats cold" message on my voicemail like Im doing him wrong LOL. I really wish yall coulda heard this voicemail or saw the last couple of texts. It felt... uncomfortable.
Longer story shorter, she did end up coming by tonight and aside from a couple of suspect glares and a by-the-way mention of seeing somebody we know at Pride, which I think was a subliminal, it was fine. I should add that the kids were watching TV with us most of the time and Im not real sure how different it mighta gotten if they werent.
Now most people who knew this girl in college would say they always thought she liked girls, including myself, but I dont like to assume stuff about people and Im not in the business of asking people that. I feel like its a personal and sensitive thing, and its in poor taste to ask unless and until you are given the "in" to that conversation. That is, unless its a guy Im dating, who has some suspect tendencies, tryna bamboozle me LOL. Thats different. But I dig it otherwise - do your thing - I just dont like to be ambushed LOL.
See, I am no stranger to women hitting on me, but when its somebody youre cool with, I think a certain etiquette should be observed. You should make it known that you like girls. Be clear. Set the stage. If you dont do that, and you just start making eyes and saying slick shit, youre likely to get a knee-jerk reaction like "WTF???" where it could have been flattery, even if youre turned down. In this case, it was a lost cause regardless - if Ima go that route, she would not make the cut. But I think what disturbed me about it is that I was always giving her the benefit of the doubt so I wasnt prepared for the weirdness I observed in her behavior and commentary. Part of me still wants to attribute it to like.... lack of sleep or something LOL. I think everything was kinda subjective and circumstancial, so I dont wanna pull out my label tape, but the situation just made me think about it, in general. Ladybugs, dont ambush your friends. Its just rude LOL.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Real Quick
I heard the funniest thing I ever heard in my life today.
One of my blog folks said a redneck once told her that a redhead is just a blonde who aint had the fire fucked out of her yet.
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I fucken lost it!
And I will lose it some more every time it comes to my attention that some guy banged a redhead. Ima just ask, "was it still red afterwards?" and walk away.
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Woo!
One of my blog folks said a redneck once told her that a redhead is just a blonde who aint had the fire fucked out of her yet.
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I fucken lost it!
And I will lose it some more every time it comes to my attention that some guy banged a redhead. Ima just ask, "was it still red afterwards?" and walk away.
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Woo!
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Just smile and STFU
HA!
You ever have a dude interact with you a certain way and change that interaction up, depending on who’s around? This fool did that to me today LOL. I wanted to walk to his house (that I would never walk to LOL) and slap him with a loaf of bread LOL.
I said something on my FB about wanting a turkey sub (hero, hoagie, torpedo, or whatever you know it by) and he comments about wanting one too and to get him one, but by the time he sends that, I’m already gone. If you know me and you know him, you know I wasn’t bringing his ass one anyway, but I knew full well his request was not facetious. However, unbeknownst to me at the time, the place I went doesn’t do them on Sundays. I came back and told him that and a whole conversation about subs and who has em and whose are the best ensued. There are about 20 comments, all just me and him going back and forth. Half way through, I’m thinking, “why aren’t we texting this conversation?” along with “dude, I already found something, I don’t care what you bout to eat, I just know I aint goin to get it” LOL.
The conversation finally kinda dies out and (why the hell do I smell like a baby??? Anyhooo….) then my girl shows up. “There comes a point when you should just text each other, nobody wants to read this shit” LOL (or something to that effect). I laughed and told her that I had just had that thought too, and suddenly, he and she begin exchanging “aint seen you in a minute” pleasantries, and he’s like “Im just on here chatting with my high school homey” LOL Me: “chatting with your who? LOL” MY girl: “AAAAAND Im out” LMAOOOOOOOO. She had no idea I knew him, so she therefore had no idea HOW I knew him either, but Im sure she saw a head swinging coming LOL
I had no intention of screaming on him all in public. I like to think I have a little class LOL. I was just letting him know, don’t be tryna fucken play me, bruh, I see your shit, LOL. High school homey – as if he hadn’t seen me in years. That’s that “let me downplay this here situation so I don’t fuck up future ass possibilities” shit. I still don’t know how she knows him, so she might say “nah he was friends with so-n-so that I use to talk to, so he know he aint never getting none, ever in life” but that’s what he was doing, nonetheless. I ended up shutting the thread down to prevent him from saying some stupid shit that would provoke me to really wanna show up on his porch, and then **brrrrrring** text message. This nicca. Oh no, no, don’t be tryna text me now, HOMEY LOL. I wasn’t your “high school” HOMEY yesterday when you “wanted some brown sugar” or any given number of days in the past few weeks when you were trying to get me over to the crib, talking about how I got your goodies and never came back and your feelings are hurt LMAO! I aint even bother texting his punk ass back cause he can officially “kiss the baby” (please refer to your Ochocinco handbooks for clarification LOL)
I cant even be mad at him cause he’s that type of dude I could expect that type of lame shit from, but on the flip side, had it been a dude who “entered the room” he’d be all “my boo boo” this and “my boo boo” that. And whats so funny is he aint even smooth with it. That shit was hella blatant fire-retardation like a muthafucka LOL. He never even had to address our affiliation at all, since the question was never posed. "How you been?" isnt that deep LOL. I gave my girl the rundown when she asked, how he’s an old BOYFRIEND who I had salt and peppered some time in with more recently, but I didn’t even bother to inquire about how she knows him cause I don’t really care now. That shit was a complete and utter turnoff and, to think, after our “brown sugar” conversation yesterday, I was gonna try to make it over there this week. Nicca done played himself right out the pussy LOL **smh**
That’s funny too cause me and one of my other girls were talking about that recently – how a dude don’t know how close he is to getting it and fucks up and says or does some shit that gets his contract terminated right there on the spot. Sometimes the best thing for your dumb ass to do is smile and STFU. If youre still here, youre doing okay, don’t fuck up the church’s money tryna be cute and shit. But some people just don’t get it.
And yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Didn’t we just talk about exes and people we use to deal with and how we don’t wanna be going back down them roads? Yes. HOWEVER, in my own defense, this was already in play prior to that conversation and I never had any intention on anything other than an occasional oil change. I aint taking on any NEW old contracts LOL. Don’t judge me LOL.
High school homey – HA!
You ever have a dude interact with you a certain way and change that interaction up, depending on who’s around? This fool did that to me today LOL. I wanted to walk to his house (that I would never walk to LOL) and slap him with a loaf of bread LOL.
I said something on my FB about wanting a turkey sub (hero, hoagie, torpedo, or whatever you know it by) and he comments about wanting one too and to get him one, but by the time he sends that, I’m already gone. If you know me and you know him, you know I wasn’t bringing his ass one anyway, but I knew full well his request was not facetious. However, unbeknownst to me at the time, the place I went doesn’t do them on Sundays. I came back and told him that and a whole conversation about subs and who has em and whose are the best ensued. There are about 20 comments, all just me and him going back and forth. Half way through, I’m thinking, “why aren’t we texting this conversation?” along with “dude, I already found something, I don’t care what you bout to eat, I just know I aint goin to get it” LOL.
The conversation finally kinda dies out and (why the hell do I smell like a baby??? Anyhooo….) then my girl shows up. “There comes a point when you should just text each other, nobody wants to read this shit” LOL (or something to that effect). I laughed and told her that I had just had that thought too, and suddenly, he and she begin exchanging “aint seen you in a minute” pleasantries, and he’s like “Im just on here chatting with my high school homey” LOL Me: “chatting with your who? LOL” MY girl: “AAAAAND Im out” LMAOOOOOOOO. She had no idea I knew him, so she therefore had no idea HOW I knew him either, but Im sure she saw a head swinging coming LOL
I had no intention of screaming on him all in public. I like to think I have a little class LOL. I was just letting him know, don’t be tryna fucken play me, bruh, I see your shit, LOL. High school homey – as if he hadn’t seen me in years. That’s that “let me downplay this here situation so I don’t fuck up future ass possibilities” shit. I still don’t know how she knows him, so she might say “nah he was friends with so-n-so that I use to talk to, so he know he aint never getting none, ever in life” but that’s what he was doing, nonetheless. I ended up shutting the thread down to prevent him from saying some stupid shit that would provoke me to really wanna show up on his porch, and then **brrrrrring** text message. This nicca. Oh no, no, don’t be tryna text me now, HOMEY LOL. I wasn’t your “high school” HOMEY yesterday when you “wanted some brown sugar” or any given number of days in the past few weeks when you were trying to get me over to the crib, talking about how I got your goodies and never came back and your feelings are hurt LMAO! I aint even bother texting his punk ass back cause he can officially “kiss the baby” (please refer to your Ochocinco handbooks for clarification LOL)
I cant even be mad at him cause he’s that type of dude I could expect that type of lame shit from, but on the flip side, had it been a dude who “entered the room” he’d be all “my boo boo” this and “my boo boo” that. And whats so funny is he aint even smooth with it. That shit was hella blatant fire-retardation like a muthafucka LOL. He never even had to address our affiliation at all, since the question was never posed. "How you been?" isnt that deep LOL. I gave my girl the rundown when she asked, how he’s an old BOYFRIEND who I had salt and peppered some time in with more recently, but I didn’t even bother to inquire about how she knows him cause I don’t really care now. That shit was a complete and utter turnoff and, to think, after our “brown sugar” conversation yesterday, I was gonna try to make it over there this week. Nicca done played himself right out the pussy LOL **smh**
That’s funny too cause me and one of my other girls were talking about that recently – how a dude don’t know how close he is to getting it and fucks up and says or does some shit that gets his contract terminated right there on the spot. Sometimes the best thing for your dumb ass to do is smile and STFU. If youre still here, youre doing okay, don’t fuck up the church’s money tryna be cute and shit. But some people just don’t get it.
And yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Didn’t we just talk about exes and people we use to deal with and how we don’t wanna be going back down them roads? Yes. HOWEVER, in my own defense, this was already in play prior to that conversation and I never had any intention on anything other than an occasional oil change. I aint taking on any NEW old contracts LOL. Don’t judge me LOL.
High school homey – HA!
Happy Sunday
Am I the only person who feels guilty going to church, when I haven’t been in a while, hoping that my going would somehow yield good favor for myself with the Lord? LOL You know what I mean – you had a job interview for this amazing gig that you really want to get, or you are hoping your lab results come back negative or your baby daddy has a court hearing coming up that you hope wont land him life? LOL
I think the last time I went to church was the first week of June. No, cause I don’t tend to do First Sundays…. Father’s day. That’s when I think it was. I have been telling myself I was gonna go for the last few weeks and just haven’t made it, for various reasons. Today I talked myself out of it by convincing myself that it would be selfish LOL. Nevermind the fact that I have been trying to get there for the last few weeks, today, it would have been selfish of me to go, because I am looking for the Lord to do something for me LOL I don’t know how valid the argument is – my NOT going was for the same damn reason LOL – but hey, that’s how I rationalized it. Whatever.
Instead, I spent the morning reading through all the blogs I have written since December, when I started this. Some of them had me laughing hysterically, recalling the events I was speaking about, and some spun me into deep thought, behind more serious incidents. One thing I noticed several times is that I was supposed to circle back to a few thoughts, in later blogs, and never did. Part of that might be because I forgot what I was initially going to say about it LOL. That happens a lot. I need to start writing stuff down when I get sidetracked to a thought I want to revisit.
But for the most part, everything I read took me right back to where I was at the time I wrote it. That is the great thing about having this blog. Its like my personal diary, helping me chronicle my experiences, work through my issues and laugh at life’s fuckery. Its interesting to see my progression from one frame of mind to another on certain topics, but for the most part, its consistent. I’m glad I finally decided to do this.
On another note, yesterday was a friend of mine’s birthday. We might speak every few weeks, nothing super regular, but I did talk to him earlier this week and when he mentioned that Saturday was his birthday, I was determined not to forget, and I didn’t – SCORE! (I can be bad with that sometimes). The best part about it, though, was that when I called to wish him a happy birthday and see what he had planned, he sounded GENUINELY happy that I called. When people know its your birthday, they tend to go through the motions and call or email or text or whatever to acknowledge you, and your response can be just as canned as their wishes. We all know that from our own birthday experiences, so when I got that real sense of warmth from him over me calling, it made me feel really good. I was proud of myself for remembering and I was glad to feel like somebody really appreciated my small, likely insignificant role in their life LOL. Its such a little thing, but it really can mean so much. Im sure somebody is reading this like really dude? Get your life LOL. But I really am such a fan of the little things, it don’t make no sense. Maybe its because there are so many little things in life. There are so many little things that if you learn to appreciate them, you will see beauty every single day of your life. SOMEWHERE. Right now my mind goes back to last night and the appointment that wasn’t kept and I really hope for my friend a new perspective on life. I hope for him the ability to see the things that don’t appear so important and the insight that life would not be the same without them. I wish the same for all of you, and now that I’m done spewing butterflies and cocoa puffs, I’m gonna go find me a sandwich LOL.
Have a wonderful day.
I think the last time I went to church was the first week of June. No, cause I don’t tend to do First Sundays…. Father’s day. That’s when I think it was. I have been telling myself I was gonna go for the last few weeks and just haven’t made it, for various reasons. Today I talked myself out of it by convincing myself that it would be selfish LOL. Nevermind the fact that I have been trying to get there for the last few weeks, today, it would have been selfish of me to go, because I am looking for the Lord to do something for me LOL I don’t know how valid the argument is – my NOT going was for the same damn reason LOL – but hey, that’s how I rationalized it. Whatever.
Instead, I spent the morning reading through all the blogs I have written since December, when I started this. Some of them had me laughing hysterically, recalling the events I was speaking about, and some spun me into deep thought, behind more serious incidents. One thing I noticed several times is that I was supposed to circle back to a few thoughts, in later blogs, and never did. Part of that might be because I forgot what I was initially going to say about it LOL. That happens a lot. I need to start writing stuff down when I get sidetracked to a thought I want to revisit.
But for the most part, everything I read took me right back to where I was at the time I wrote it. That is the great thing about having this blog. Its like my personal diary, helping me chronicle my experiences, work through my issues and laugh at life’s fuckery. Its interesting to see my progression from one frame of mind to another on certain topics, but for the most part, its consistent. I’m glad I finally decided to do this.
On another note, yesterday was a friend of mine’s birthday. We might speak every few weeks, nothing super regular, but I did talk to him earlier this week and when he mentioned that Saturday was his birthday, I was determined not to forget, and I didn’t – SCORE! (I can be bad with that sometimes). The best part about it, though, was that when I called to wish him a happy birthday and see what he had planned, he sounded GENUINELY happy that I called. When people know its your birthday, they tend to go through the motions and call or email or text or whatever to acknowledge you, and your response can be just as canned as their wishes. We all know that from our own birthday experiences, so when I got that real sense of warmth from him over me calling, it made me feel really good. I was proud of myself for remembering and I was glad to feel like somebody really appreciated my small, likely insignificant role in their life LOL. Its such a little thing, but it really can mean so much. Im sure somebody is reading this like really dude? Get your life LOL. But I really am such a fan of the little things, it don’t make no sense. Maybe its because there are so many little things in life. There are so many little things that if you learn to appreciate them, you will see beauty every single day of your life. SOMEWHERE. Right now my mind goes back to last night and the appointment that wasn’t kept and I really hope for my friend a new perspective on life. I hope for him the ability to see the things that don’t appear so important and the insight that life would not be the same without them. I wish the same for all of you, and now that I’m done spewing butterflies and cocoa puffs, I’m gonna go find me a sandwich LOL.
Have a wonderful day.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Values
He’s all about making a million. His drive for success is so focused that he’s finding himself lost in other aspects of his life. His friendships aren’t solid, he cant make a relationship work and he’s feeling all around empty outside of his business ventures.
So we make an appointment to talk about it. I even confirmed after a few hours: “WE still on?” After some friendly razzing, “See you in a few” he says. Never showed up.
Now I wouldn’t care if he decided he no longer needed to talk. I wouldn’t care if he got caught up in some other shit and our appointment got put to the back burner. What annoys me is that he said he was coming, when he could have just canceled, and this was the third time he didn’t show up.
At a certain point, I made up in my mind that I wouldn’t see him tonight, even if he did end up calling. My time is valuable. When I designate some for you, I expect you to make good use of it. But I wasn’t tripping. I didn’t call or text him, telling him about himself. I simply carried on with my evening the way I normally would have, had we not made plans. And I enjoyed myself. But in the midst of it, I thought a little about his predicament and I found it pretty ironic.
Here you have a man who is ALL about his business. He puts everything he has into it… well that, and his kids. On paper, one could argue that he’s got it all – in the material sense. I know plenty of people who would give an arm to be in his financial position. Conversely, he cant cultivate a personal relationship of any kind to save his life. I offer this: maybe if he placed as much VALUE on his personal relationships as he does on his business ventures, he might have a different experience. Trying to do well for yourself and making sure your children never have to struggle is honorable, but I contend that if you measure success by material gain alone, you will never achieve true happiness. Life is about balance. That doesnt mean dont go hard professionally. It just means go just as hard in your personal space.
Not everyone in your world has selfish motives. Here and there, people actually care and want to see you happy, and if you abuse your relationships with the genuine people, sooner or later, all you will be left with are the moochers and snakes, and whose to blame? If you treat all those people the same way, its no wonder you cant tell them apart. You have to be the person you want to find - in love, in friendship, in business.
But maybe he didn’t need to talk to me tonight. After all, sometimes the best place to find the answers youre looking for is the mirror.
So we make an appointment to talk about it. I even confirmed after a few hours: “WE still on?” After some friendly razzing, “See you in a few” he says. Never showed up.
Now I wouldn’t care if he decided he no longer needed to talk. I wouldn’t care if he got caught up in some other shit and our appointment got put to the back burner. What annoys me is that he said he was coming, when he could have just canceled, and this was the third time he didn’t show up.
At a certain point, I made up in my mind that I wouldn’t see him tonight, even if he did end up calling. My time is valuable. When I designate some for you, I expect you to make good use of it. But I wasn’t tripping. I didn’t call or text him, telling him about himself. I simply carried on with my evening the way I normally would have, had we not made plans. And I enjoyed myself. But in the midst of it, I thought a little about his predicament and I found it pretty ironic.
Here you have a man who is ALL about his business. He puts everything he has into it… well that, and his kids. On paper, one could argue that he’s got it all – in the material sense. I know plenty of people who would give an arm to be in his financial position. Conversely, he cant cultivate a personal relationship of any kind to save his life. I offer this: maybe if he placed as much VALUE on his personal relationships as he does on his business ventures, he might have a different experience. Trying to do well for yourself and making sure your children never have to struggle is honorable, but I contend that if you measure success by material gain alone, you will never achieve true happiness. Life is about balance. That doesnt mean dont go hard professionally. It just means go just as hard in your personal space.
Not everyone in your world has selfish motives. Here and there, people actually care and want to see you happy, and if you abuse your relationships with the genuine people, sooner or later, all you will be left with are the moochers and snakes, and whose to blame? If you treat all those people the same way, its no wonder you cant tell them apart. You have to be the person you want to find - in love, in friendship, in business.
But maybe he didn’t need to talk to me tonight. After all, sometimes the best place to find the answers youre looking for is the mirror.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Good Grief!
Ugh.
So you know how youre kinda done with somebody and you really don’t wanna be bothered with them anymore, but they just don’t get it? Correction: they get it, but they just don’t want it to be over. Well I really wish said people were always jerks or folks you didn’t mind being mean to. I have absolutely no problem with that. But when someone is really the opposite – a nice guy who just wont let go – its soooooo much harder. You don’t want to be mean to them or hurt their feelings, but they make you so frustrated, you just wanna grab em by the collar and shake em to sleep LOL.
The last guy I was seeing – yall know, the “pseudo sig” – just will not go away. He’s cool and everything we were trying to do was based on a friendship, so when I decided that there couldn’t be anything more, I wanted to at least be able to preserve that. I think I told yall a couple weeks ago that he hit me up on FB, saying he knows he told me he agreed with me but didn’t really mean it. I sort of checked him that night, and he got mad and e-stormed out of the chat. If nothing else, I thought he’d at least avoid me for a while. No such luck.
For the last few nights, whenever he sees me on there, he sends me messages about loving me or missing me or some other shit I really aint tryna hear. I am not very often at a loss for words, but I really haven’t known how to respond. I don’t want to hurt his feelings, and I really would like to be able to preserve the friendship, but its like he doesn’t know how to talk to me without going into all the things he misses about us and how in his mind I am still his girl (which, by the way, I never was, to be clear). All that does is make me all uncomfortable and short in my responses. Like dude, WHY do you insist on doing this? I have told him several times that I stand firm on his release and that its not going to change. I don’t know what else to say to him. Then he’s doing stupid shit too, like putting up statuses about having spent the day with somebody and how he’s about to take her back to the crib, so I can be jealous and make a comment about it, but I never do. I only know he is doing it because he brings it to my attention, asking why I didn’t say anything. First of all, WHERE THEY DO THAT AT??? We too grown for that. COME ON SON! I swear, he makes me not want to talk to him at all. OMG, he’s writing me right now, talking bout he don’t play with the L word, not many have heard him say it and he meant it. Sheesh! Ok, I get it. WTF do you want me to say?
**sigh**
I think Im just gonna have to tell him he has to chill out or Im not gonna talk to him. Im sure I have already said it, but I aint feelin like he heard it. I shouldn’t have to go into stealth mode when Im on there, or avoid being on there cause he cant get his emotions together. I have tried to be nice, but I guess some people don’t speak that language….
So you know how youre kinda done with somebody and you really don’t wanna be bothered with them anymore, but they just don’t get it? Correction: they get it, but they just don’t want it to be over. Well I really wish said people were always jerks or folks you didn’t mind being mean to. I have absolutely no problem with that. But when someone is really the opposite – a nice guy who just wont let go – its soooooo much harder. You don’t want to be mean to them or hurt their feelings, but they make you so frustrated, you just wanna grab em by the collar and shake em to sleep LOL.
The last guy I was seeing – yall know, the “pseudo sig” – just will not go away. He’s cool and everything we were trying to do was based on a friendship, so when I decided that there couldn’t be anything more, I wanted to at least be able to preserve that. I think I told yall a couple weeks ago that he hit me up on FB, saying he knows he told me he agreed with me but didn’t really mean it. I sort of checked him that night, and he got mad and e-stormed out of the chat. If nothing else, I thought he’d at least avoid me for a while. No such luck.
For the last few nights, whenever he sees me on there, he sends me messages about loving me or missing me or some other shit I really aint tryna hear. I am not very often at a loss for words, but I really haven’t known how to respond. I don’t want to hurt his feelings, and I really would like to be able to preserve the friendship, but its like he doesn’t know how to talk to me without going into all the things he misses about us and how in his mind I am still his girl (which, by the way, I never was, to be clear). All that does is make me all uncomfortable and short in my responses. Like dude, WHY do you insist on doing this? I have told him several times that I stand firm on his release and that its not going to change. I don’t know what else to say to him. Then he’s doing stupid shit too, like putting up statuses about having spent the day with somebody and how he’s about to take her back to the crib, so I can be jealous and make a comment about it, but I never do. I only know he is doing it because he brings it to my attention, asking why I didn’t say anything. First of all, WHERE THEY DO THAT AT??? We too grown for that. COME ON SON! I swear, he makes me not want to talk to him at all. OMG, he’s writing me right now, talking bout he don’t play with the L word, not many have heard him say it and he meant it. Sheesh! Ok, I get it. WTF do you want me to say?
**sigh**
I think Im just gonna have to tell him he has to chill out or Im not gonna talk to him. Im sure I have already said it, but I aint feelin like he heard it. I shouldn’t have to go into stealth mode when Im on there, or avoid being on there cause he cant get his emotions together. I have tried to be nice, but I guess some people don’t speak that language….
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Hot Tub Time Machine
Wow.
Ok so I just watched Hot Tub Time Machine. It was hysterical, especially towards the end, but I got a lot more than laughs out of it. Watching it twice helps. I advise you all to watch it twice. No, seriously.
Without giving it away for those who haven’t seen it, it’s the story of three friends and a nephew who go on a trip to somewhere the friends have history. The place has lost a lot of its flair, but they make the best of it. They get SMASHED in the hot tub, some Russian energy drink spills all over the control panel, shorting it out, and they end up transporting back to 1986 – the year they were originally there.
Remember the term “gaylord?” LOL Im totally anti-slur, but it did take me back. While watching these guys be totally ridiculous, trying not to upset the time/space continuum, I was taken back by dozens of familiar eighties references that made me uber nostalgic. It’s the type of nostalgia much different than the one you feel watching The Breakfast Club or Beverly Hills Cop. The guys themselves are experiencing it with you, and littered with these random phrases like “he’s an asshole, but he’s our asshole,” it also makes you look at the dynamic of friendship, and your loyalty, even to those who appear not to appreciate it. There was a reference to Cincinnati and a fetus that I still don’t quite get, but I digress LOL.
I couldn’t help but think: what if I could go back in a time machine of some sort and relive some pivotal night of my life? What night would it be? I suppose it would be determined by the friends I get sent back with, you know, the night would have to have some common meaningfulness. But that’s good. I wouldn’t want the responsibility of having to choose. I realize that we tend to think certain things have had a greater effect on our lives than they actually have, and are oblivious to other seemingly insignificant incidents that were completely life-altering. The time machine would have to decide. But knowing what I know now, I wonder if I would have the strength to NOT change an occurrence that I may have regretted all my life. I really don’t know. I guess it would depend on the situation. Either way, how fucken FUN would that be??? I was kinda doing my own thing at nineteen and twenty – the age these guys went back to - but the friends I had when I was sixteen? O. M. G. LOL. Would I remember the details of the 1991Bulls vs Lakers championship game enough to bet everyone around me and make a killing? Would I have enough presence of mind to cash in on yahoo or google and propel myself into billionaire splendor? More importantly, would I warn the lost ones and prevent their demise, or write a note to myself that would keep my heart unbroken? Would I lament in the promises we all made to each other that weren’t kept when life intervened and took us in different directions?
There were a couple of references to life being pre-determined – or not – and it made me think of the blog I wrote on Sliding Doors. That is such a powerful existential question to me. I really get off on exploring stuff like that. I felt totally inspired at points in this movie though. It has a weird way of making you feel invincible and focused. It makes you appreciate the experiences, friends and dreams you’ve had in your life, and if you’re not distracted with some other bullshit at the time, the ending credits could send you off into the first day of the rest of your life. At least that’s how I felt after it went off. Maybe Im just getting old LOL
BTW, at 34, that one line from Motley Crue’s “Home Sweet Home” is a lot more poignant than I ever paid attention to at 12 LOL. When things aren’t right, it doesn’t mean they’re always wrong… or something like that.
And the people say: all that from a movie huh? **smh**
Shut up. Watch it. Dig – out.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Hot as Hell
Dude, I have not slept in three days. I am about ready to kill some damn body!
It has been 95 degrees for the last three days, and before you folks in other areas start posturing with your 110 degrees, let me explain something to you: where I live don’t get hot LOL. Period. It might warm up considerably, but this muthafucka don’t get HOT LOL. 95 humid ass degrees might as well be 212.
I aint been sleeping.
I aint been eating.
I aint been doing shit but sweating and showering and sweating again LOL.
So in my effort to actually get some sleep, I decide to sleep with my fan on. Brilliant idea, except now my neck and joints are all stiff from sleeping under it, and as the old folks say “the cold got in my bones.” I haven’t quite figured out how that happened since all the fan did was blow fucken HOT air around, but somehow, yeah. Aside from feeling achy, my throat’s been all sore and closed up for 2 days – hurts to talk, and yes, swallow.
I heard that, shut up, LOL. **smh**
This is some bullshit. I aint picked up no germs, that I know of. I haven’t been sneezed or coughed on, or been in the presence of anyone else that was sick, so Im feeling some kinda way right now. Who gets sick when its damn near 100 degrees? What you even do for some shit like that in this heat? You cant drink hot tea cause you’ll catch on fire! LOL No, I swear you will LOL. Heating pad? For real? Did I mention its 1,000 gotdamn degrees? LOL
This. Is. Some. Bullshit.
LOL
It has been 95 degrees for the last three days, and before you folks in other areas start posturing with your 110 degrees, let me explain something to you: where I live don’t get hot LOL. Period. It might warm up considerably, but this muthafucka don’t get HOT LOL. 95 humid ass degrees might as well be 212.
I aint been sleeping.
I aint been eating.
I aint been doing shit but sweating and showering and sweating again LOL.
So in my effort to actually get some sleep, I decide to sleep with my fan on. Brilliant idea, except now my neck and joints are all stiff from sleeping under it, and as the old folks say “the cold got in my bones.” I haven’t quite figured out how that happened since all the fan did was blow fucken HOT air around, but somehow, yeah. Aside from feeling achy, my throat’s been all sore and closed up for 2 days – hurts to talk, and yes, swallow.
I heard that, shut up, LOL. **smh**
This is some bullshit. I aint picked up no germs, that I know of. I haven’t been sneezed or coughed on, or been in the presence of anyone else that was sick, so Im feeling some kinda way right now. Who gets sick when its damn near 100 degrees? What you even do for some shit like that in this heat? You cant drink hot tea cause you’ll catch on fire! LOL No, I swear you will LOL. Heating pad? For real? Did I mention its 1,000 gotdamn degrees? LOL
This. Is. Some. Bullshit.
LOL
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
WTF
Dear Doctor Dig;
WTF is this shit? I don’t even know what she talking about. I never said I wanted her to be somebody else. I just told her how she be acting sometimes and next thing you know it was a argument cause she aint like what I said. Then she started turning stuff around on me and now all of a sudden I don’t see myself. She aint even tell me what that means. See what? I think if she would just said we need some time then ok but she went writing letters and shit and trying to act like its all me that’s wrong so fuck it. I don’t even want her now but maybe you can tell me what this shit is suppose to mean.
“I wish things could have turned out differently, but sometimes, it just is what it is. We’d never be able to get where we need to be, because you’re more interested in being right than actually trying to resolve anything. You’ve got me really twisted. I am nothing like you make me out to be. But how can I expect you to see who I am, when you won’t even see yourself...
I’m a little sad its ending like this after all the high hopes we had, and make no mistake, I love you very much, but I’d rather let you go because I’m not who you want me to be, than to become somebody I’m not, just to keep you. If that’s what it takes to be together, we’re both better off with someone else.
Take care of yourself.”
-WTF?
Alrighty then LOL. First of all, thank you for giving me something else to do today besides be pissed off about some shit I cant do nothing about, like I have been since last night – nevermind LOL. Second of all, forgive the corrections I made in your email, but Im a writer, so certain shit disturbs me - all them damn abbreviations were giving me spasms LOL. Love you though! **muah!** LOL
No, for real. I don’t think I know enough about the situation to really get all that deep into it, but it sounds like whatever it was you said to her, really hurt her feelings. It sounds like it hurt her feelings to the point of….. you ever have somebody say something to you that gives you pause? You stop in your tracks, look at the person, with the intention of going off, but youre so thrown, all you can do is walk away pissed? Sounds like that. Sometimes somebody can say something to you that forever changes the way you see them. I had a boyfriend a year or two ago…. probably two years ago now….that said some shit to me like that. I looked at him and was like “wow” and there was no coming back from it. Now, that’s not to say that what you said to her wasn’t the truth. Maybe it was, and maybe it was something you both already knew going in, so she was like, why you even going there? And it sounds like she said some stuff back to you that you were (maybe) in denial about….. tell me what she said, I’ll tell you if its true or not LMAO!
No really though, you may not have meant any real harm by whatever you said, or maybe it came out of frustration, but, as unfair as it may seem, there are certain things you just cannot say to a woman. She’ll never forgive you. For instance (speaking for self LOL) a person could never compare me to my mother – especially one who knows what our relationship is like or things (I feel) she’s done. I say “I feel” because that’s key – even if I were completely jaded about the situation and totally overreacting, or not acknowledging some part I played in it all, the fact that I FEEL that way should make a person who loves me feel that it was off limits. Its not about perpetuating something or being some kind of enabler, its about realizing that some things are a lot deeper than your understanding, and you should respect that arms length on the subject. You don’t always have to know why I feel a way about something or somebody, just respect that I do. You know what I mean? Stuff like that, you have to be careful with.
But what difference does it make anyway now? You said fuck her, and you don’t want her back, right? LOL Mmhmm….. sounds like you STILL in denial LOL. Put your ego on the shelf, dawg. You know you want yo baby back LOL.
Nah, good luck with that though. Too many relationships are breaking up for dumb shit. If this can be salvaged, save it.
WTF is this shit? I don’t even know what she talking about. I never said I wanted her to be somebody else. I just told her how she be acting sometimes and next thing you know it was a argument cause she aint like what I said. Then she started turning stuff around on me and now all of a sudden I don’t see myself. She aint even tell me what that means. See what? I think if she would just said we need some time then ok but she went writing letters and shit and trying to act like its all me that’s wrong so fuck it. I don’t even want her now but maybe you can tell me what this shit is suppose to mean.
“I wish things could have turned out differently, but sometimes, it just is what it is. We’d never be able to get where we need to be, because you’re more interested in being right than actually trying to resolve anything. You’ve got me really twisted. I am nothing like you make me out to be. But how can I expect you to see who I am, when you won’t even see yourself...
I’m a little sad its ending like this after all the high hopes we had, and make no mistake, I love you very much, but I’d rather let you go because I’m not who you want me to be, than to become somebody I’m not, just to keep you. If that’s what it takes to be together, we’re both better off with someone else.
Take care of yourself.”
-WTF?
Alrighty then LOL. First of all, thank you for giving me something else to do today besides be pissed off about some shit I cant do nothing about, like I have been since last night – nevermind LOL. Second of all, forgive the corrections I made in your email, but Im a writer, so certain shit disturbs me - all them damn abbreviations were giving me spasms LOL. Love you though! **muah!** LOL
No, for real. I don’t think I know enough about the situation to really get all that deep into it, but it sounds like whatever it was you said to her, really hurt her feelings. It sounds like it hurt her feelings to the point of….. you ever have somebody say something to you that gives you pause? You stop in your tracks, look at the person, with the intention of going off, but youre so thrown, all you can do is walk away pissed? Sounds like that. Sometimes somebody can say something to you that forever changes the way you see them. I had a boyfriend a year or two ago…. probably two years ago now….that said some shit to me like that. I looked at him and was like “wow” and there was no coming back from it. Now, that’s not to say that what you said to her wasn’t the truth. Maybe it was, and maybe it was something you both already knew going in, so she was like, why you even going there? And it sounds like she said some stuff back to you that you were (maybe) in denial about….. tell me what she said, I’ll tell you if its true or not LMAO!
No really though, you may not have meant any real harm by whatever you said, or maybe it came out of frustration, but, as unfair as it may seem, there are certain things you just cannot say to a woman. She’ll never forgive you. For instance (speaking for self LOL) a person could never compare me to my mother – especially one who knows what our relationship is like or things (I feel) she’s done. I say “I feel” because that’s key – even if I were completely jaded about the situation and totally overreacting, or not acknowledging some part I played in it all, the fact that I FEEL that way should make a person who loves me feel that it was off limits. Its not about perpetuating something or being some kind of enabler, its about realizing that some things are a lot deeper than your understanding, and you should respect that arms length on the subject. You don’t always have to know why I feel a way about something or somebody, just respect that I do. You know what I mean? Stuff like that, you have to be careful with.
But what difference does it make anyway now? You said fuck her, and you don’t want her back, right? LOL Mmhmm….. sounds like you STILL in denial LOL. Put your ego on the shelf, dawg. You know you want yo baby back LOL.
Nah, good luck with that though. Too many relationships are breaking up for dumb shit. If this can be salvaged, save it.
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