Friday, April 29, 2011

50, Funny?




http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474979273665



50 Cent to Try His Hand at Online Comedy

April 29, 2011 01:35 AM EDT

After climbing to the top of the hip-hop charts and becoming a self-made entrepreneur, 50 Cent's latest venture is potentially his funniest. The rap superstar is launching a new website titled ThisIs50Comedy.com, aiming to expand his grasp on the internet world (and probably make a couple more millions).

Hosted by comedian Young Jack Thriller, This Is 50 Comedy intends to bring subscribers "the cutting-edge humor of the nation's funniest comedians," according to the official website. The show will be shot in front of a live audience in Times Square, with new episodes airing on the last Thursday of every month, starting April 28.

While Young Jack Thriller is no stranger to making audiences laugh, the half-dollar man himself should get in on the action to make the site a true success. This wouldn't be too difficult either, as portions of 50 Cent's twitter feed call for a comedy special on their own. Who needs live sketches when your CEO spits comedic gems?

To quote 50 Cent himself, "I can't believe my grandmother's making me take out the garbage, I'm rich, f*** this!"

*********************

I cant stand this dude, but that was kinda funny LOL.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Full Disclosure

So let’s talk about the divulging of information LOL.

I was in a conversation with my boyfriend today and something he said led me to ask him to clarify. What he told me was not a big deal, by any means, in itself, but the fact that it happened a whole month ago and I was just now finding out about it, kinda was.

Now I believe grown people with jobs (that’s an important separation to draw LOL) have a right to do whatever the hell they wanna do, without having to necessarily run it by anybody else, but some things need to be put in the air, especially when you are in a relationship – not just for the sake of full disclosure, but because anything could come up, and your chances of beating a wrap are a lot better if you’ve got full disclosure on your side. CYA – Cover Your Ass. Its not just for Corporate America LOL.

It really doesn’t matter what the issue is, or whom it involves – your significant other does not want to hear about it from someone else, LEAST of all from a person who is telling just to start something. Your significant other also doesn’t want to hear today about something that happened a month ago, mainly BECAUSE that’s enough time where they could have heard about it from somebody else LOL . That’s not okay.

What if you get caught up in some shit? What if – for example – you do something as innocent as seeing your ex at a bus stop in the pouring rain, giving her a ride somewhere and you fail to mention it. Inherently not a big deal right? I aint trippin, but guess what – I wanna know about it. You know why? Cause these bitches is trifling and I know you know exactly where I am going with that LOL. What if you get arrested while you are at your ex’s house? Maybe you get in a fight with some guy, or hell, maybe for strangling your ex? “Damn the charges, I aint like the bitch anyway – what you was doing over there nicca?” LMAO! Some chick at the office got the hots for you? This is not a harmless little detail. You saw Obsessed. Idris mighta saved himself a whole lotta trouble if he had just told Bey what was up from the beginning.

I guess what Im saying is that little things have the potential to become very big things, without warning. Any time you are gonna be in a place, or with a person, that has the ability to strike a sore spot with your significant other, mention it. You aint gotta make it a deal but casually blow over it …. “Yo that rain was buggin yesterday. I saw Keylolo at the bus stop, gave her a ride to her mama house. That rain was CRAZY! Hey, you remember what time the game come on?” LOL You might have a couple of follow-up questions to answer (LOL) but you have done your part. You have Keylolo-proofed me. Its like scotch guard LOL. For real though. Now I cant tell you this is going to prevent all fuckery from being afoot, but I would say your relationship is less likely to fall fatal victim to any that ensues if you handle it right.

Now I see the problem with this - there are a lotta really insecure women out there who are gonna hear that you gave Keylolo a ride and next thing you know, you are gonna be getting the third degree AND ignoring scarcastic comments for at least three months after that LOL. Lets hope you dont have one of those insecure women. That chick is gonna be checking your call records and sniffing your drawz, and nobody wants that LOL. But the average, secure, mature woman just wants the respect of being told potentially sensitive information, directly from her man, and in a timely fashion. Its just a matter of respect.

Now my particular conversation this morning was nothing like these scenarios I offered, but it did spawn this thought process. He said “I just wasn’t thinking about it.” Probably true. It wouldn’t be something I’d think about mentioning either, cause I’d probably take it for granted as a given, but even then, I’d have thought it would have come up just in regular conversation. At any rate, its in the air and he now understands why I was somewhat irritated. Now let’s see how long it will be before we have to have this conversation again LOL………

He Proved My Point

The following passage is an exerpt from an article I read on MSN this morning:


http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/42786288/ns/politics-decision_2012/


"The comments by Farah underscore Obama’s observation Wednesday that hard-core birthers are unlikely to be persuaded by any evidence, no matter how compelling. “I know that there’s going to be a segment of people for which, no matter what we put out, this issue will not be put to rest,” Obama said at a White House press event to release the birth certificate."

*staring into the camera*

*sigh*

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Breakdown

So Barack Obama produced his official long form birth certificate today, amid speculation and accusation of not being an actual American citizen (among other things). Upon doing so, he commented that he normally would not have entertained such folly, but it was starting to become a distraction, taking the focus off of much more important issues that he and the nation need to deal with. He felt that laying the rumors to rest would allow people to move on and refocus on the bigger fish there are to fry.

I get that. I do. HOWEVER……..LOL

If you had taken the position that you were not going to feed into the nonsense, you should have held that position and not dignified such trivial chatter with any kind of response, outside of your original “Yes, I am” and left it at that. Period. When Bush presented himself as an American citizen, nobody asked him to prove it, and his daddy been in bed with the Arabs for years LMAO! (That was a good one, if I do say so myself LOL)

I was Facebooking with one of my girlfriends earlier and she said the birth certificate thing was all they had and by addressing it, Barack took their power……

*staring into the camera*

Do you LIVE in America? LOL

*sigh*

Barack Obama did not take anybody’s power. If anything, he GAVE these fools power by validating their shenanigans, which he shoulda kept ignoring. There is always gonna be something else now. Once you put yourself at the disadvantage of an explanation, you will be explaining forever. Its just like arguing with a little kid. When you tell a little kid "cause I said so, thats why" then thats it. When you go explaining yourself to that child, you will forever be explaining yourself to that child, and "cause I said so" aint never gonna cut it again.

Poor Rocky (as I affectionately like to refer to him LOL). Didn’t he see what happened with 50 and Ja Rule? He just made the same mistake Ja Rule made when 50 Cent came for him. 50 had no power, so long as Ja Rule continued to ignore him. It wasn’t until Ja Rule engaged, that he really made himself an open target. Shots that once bounced off the invisible force field of disregard, were suddenly hitting Ja Rule center mass, and before long, Ja was but a mere fragment of hip hop collaborations gone by LOL. Jay-Z dont go to war with just any-ole-body who calls his name, and you the Jay-Z of politics. You supposed to "son" these fools and let em know you the Prez, you dont play kid games or acknowledge their low-rent, hating asses. But you aint do that. Now you gonna go down in history as "that nigga that got 50'd by Trump" LOL *smh*

I understand the mentality, and I know how good it feels to be able to “shut people up,” but this is one of those occasions where I really wish Barack had just kept on steppin. Be above that shit. When a person gets you to respond, after you said you wouldn’t, they’ve already got you on the ropes.

Donald Trump and everybody who came before him on this witch hunt just looked really, really stupid whining about this whole birth certificate thing. I woulda let their asses keep looking stupid. Its just so childish. And also, I need these muthafuckas to read The Art of War… If you gonna try to discredit somebody, at least be smart about it. You don’t raise issue about something that could easily be proven LOL. You raise issue about something that CANT easily be proven, if at all. You create the kind of insatiable doubt that makes people forever question a person’s honesty and motives. You know, just a little pebble of truth amidst an avalanche of lies has toppled many a mighty empire LOL.

So why even open the door to it? Im disappointed, Rocky. I thought you knew better, but if you knew better, you'd do better, and well..... so much for that LOL!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Hide Ya Weed!



Antoine Dodson was arrested over the weekend for possession of marijuana, and "failure to appear" on a couple of traffic violations.

Look at this mess of a mug shot. *smh*

Monday, April 25, 2011

Let's Talk

I wasnt going to talk about this, for the sake of discretion, but the more I think about it, the more I feel obligated to.

One of my family members attempted to kill themselves last week. It was someone I am relatively close to, so it kinda fucked me up. I knew they were going through a little bit of something, but I never imagined it was as deep as it was. That being said, I have a very hard time with suicide. To me, its cowardly and selfish. To take your own life because of someone who doesnt give a shit about you, and leave the people who love you to deal with such a hurtful loss, to me, is unconscionable. As concerned as I was for their well-being, I found myself more angry than anything else. They are okay and I think most of my anger has subsided, but their situation has not changed, and the family still fears for their safety. I can only pray their strength and hope that God shows them that life, being only by His giving, is for His taking, and only His taking.

People..... life is hard. But its hard for all of us. You dont have the market cornered on pain and strife. And as hard as it can be sometimes, its also beautiful and not to be taken for granted. If you find that your life is made up of more strife than beauty, then change some things in it. Do some things differently. Surround yourself with different people. Dont let yourself get to so low a point that you feel the only solution is to check out, because you will never know if blue skies awaited you in the morning. Trouble dont last always. Whatever it is that you are going through, will soon pass, as have all your previous trials and tribulations. I believe the Lord wont put more on you than you can handle, so dont let the devil convince you that you cant hold out. And no matter how much you dont believe it, somebody will miss you when youre gone.

So talk to somebody and tell em whats going on. If you dont have anybody to talk to, hit ME up. This is a no judgment zone. Whether its advice you need, or just somebody to vent to, I'd rather sit and listen than be reading RIP's....

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Happy Easter!

So.... sorry I didnt get in here last night, but I had the travel experience from hell.

I had a 7am flight from Chicago that was canceled. Continental - geniuses that they are - put me on another flight, going through Houston. HOUSTON!!! Who flies from Chicago to Jersey via Houston? Where they do that at? Continental, thats where.

I landed in Jersey around 4:30 yesterday afternoon, and jumped right in a rental and drove five hours upstate, spent the night with my girlfriend, and drove back again this morning, THEN went grocery shopping. All things considered, I think I deserve a pass.

My body is hurting in places that dont exist outside of pain, and I feel like I've lost 27 pounds LOL. I missed my nephew's wedding, but I did see some video and pictures of it, and it looked like a beautiful ceremony. I really hope it works out for him.

I am planning on working from home tomorrow, because I just cant imagine dealing with that commute in the morning. The rental is due back in the morning too, but I think Im gonna just extend it for a day so I dont have to leave the house. I guess we will see.

Anyway, happy Easter!

Friday, April 22, 2011

Almost There

Hello, Chicago!

Well I should say, "Hello, Ramada" since I havent left it LOL. But Im having an awesome visit, so Im definitely not complaining. Kinda bummed that the CD I had made didnt work in the car stereo, but Im hoping it will work in another one. Regardless, tonight is going to be amazing, as was last night, and then I will be off to the races again, first thing in the morning, headed upstate. I havent taken my vitamins in 4 days, and Im starting to feel it, but Im a trooper. I can make it.

Just two more days until I have fulfilled my lent commitment of 46 consecutive blogs between Ash Wednesday and Easter. I missed a couple days, but I did doubles here and there that should make up for that. I am still gonna try to get in here every day if I can, but at least I know that if I dont, I just dont LOL.

I hope everybody is enjoying their Easter weekend. To my upstate homies, see you tomorrow, and to everybody else, happy passover!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

And In This Corner......

I just made the most tickling observation.

Im listening to this Whitney Houston station I created on Pandora this morning, and let me just tell you, I am JAMMING! Anyway, being Pandora, its gonna play a lot of Whitney, combined with similar artists, and its also going to play Whitney’s duets. Enter comedy LOL.

So the first duet they play is with Mariah Carey – the theme song from Disney’s “The Prince of Egypt,” “When You Believe.” I absolutely LOVE this song. In fact, its one of the few that make me so emotional, I cry every time I can freely sing it (i.e. not at my desk with the big boss at the desk behind me LOL) so Im sitting here, eyes closed, just feeling it. Suddenly, I notice the singing is changing. They started out so soft and sweet, but after the bridge, both Whitney and Mariah seem to lose their damn minds LOL. It turns into a battle, and both of them are going for broke. Whitney does a riff, Mariah goes to church, Whitney comes back with the uppercut, then there’s Mariah again, with a blow to the body LOL. If you have a favorite, you almost hear yourself thinking “Oooh, get her! Get her!” LMAO! I found it hysterical. I remember saying a long time ago that Ne-Yo and Jamie Foxx sounded like they were battling on their duet of “She Got Her Own”, and that was hysterical too, but sometimes I just be like really tho?

In the case of Whitney and Mariah, people have been pitting them against each other since the beginning of time, and that debate gets hot like fire, so the smart money stays out of it. Its almost like they got in the studio, with full knowledge of what word was in the street, and each was determined to outshine the other. Its almost juvenile, but you know what? The result was a product with vocals that are nearly impossible to touch . If that’s what it takes to get good music – some friendly competition – I’m all about it.

But here’s the interesting thing: the next duet they played, a few songs later, was “Count On Me,” from the “Waiting to Exhale” movie soundtrack, that she did with CeCe Winans. I cant help but feel like Whitney was a little intimidated LOL. Don’t get me wrong, the beef in the street is DEFINITELY not as strong here, but there’s been some comparisons here and there. Why wasn’t there that same bravado in the studio? Why you aint singin it wit ya chest, Whit? LOL When you listen to that one, the vocals are great, as expected, but you don’t hear the posturing that was so obvious in the duet with Mariah. You don’t hear her inviting CeCe into the street LOL. And CeCe doesn’t seem to be paying any mind to the fact that she’s on a cut with Whitney – she’s just doing her like, “no, she on a cut wit ME, shit” LOL.

Again, I cant help but feel some kinda way. Im feeling like Whitney thinks she “got” Mariah and went in the studio like “let me show this little girl how its done.” Whether or not she really accomplished that…. well, I guess that’s up for debate LOL. But then she goes into the studio with CeCe and she’s not all cocky like that. Whats up, Whit? You cant get wit CeCe? Ima keep my commentary to myself, cause the thoughts in my head right now, although funny as hell, might hurt somebody’s feelings, but I will say this: pre-crack Whitney woulda went in the studio wit her gloves on and boots laced. Im just sayin.

That would be such a good sing-off though…… I don’t even think a winner could clearly be determined at each of their bests, but Lord, would I love to see them all sing for their lives…… Whitney….. Mariah…… CeCe……. In their primes?

Man.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

On Everything I Love....

Dear Heavenly Father,

Please forgive me for the sins I have committed, and most importantly, forgive me for the one I will commit if I ever see this bitch again in life...

Amen.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Dangit!

I didnt blog yesterday. I dont even have an excuse, I just plum forgot LOL. well, actually, yesterday was rather busy - Im in DC, and after a full day of work, I went out for drinks with a girlfriend from school, then came back to the hotel and hung out [read: drank some more LOL] for a little while with another one of my girlfriends, and I spent the rest of the night talking to my boyfriend, slightly incapacitated from the libations LOL. Im kinda salty that I didnt come in here, cause it woulda probably been funny as hell. Ah well LOL.

I came back to the hotel for lunch today and some guy in a maintenance uniform comes to my door, talking about "they" said I called and wanted somebody to come up and fix the clock cause it had the wrong time on it...... *staring into the camera*..... what? LOL Now my clock was fine - right time and all - but who calls the front desk because the clock in their room has the wrong time on it? LOL I hope the look I gave him made him feel as stupid as he obviously thought I was.

Speaking of lunch, ladies, PLEASE try on your new pants before you pack them to wear on a trip. I brought these slacks I was gonna be wearing for the first time, and I'll be damned if, after a spinach wrap, them shits wasnt cutting off my circulation LOL. I mean, they were squeezing my stomach so hard, I got a gas bubble over one of my ovaries, and my leg kept twitching every time I took a step LOL. Im not even kidding. I thought I was gonna pass out LOL. I couldnt wait to get back to this room and take them damn things off. *smh* One to grow on.

Well, its back to Jersey tomorrow, then off to Chi-town on Thursday night. I know Im gonna have some bullshit to deal with in transit - airports are a cornucopia of fuckery. I'll keep ya abreast of how close I am to jumping out of a window between now and Sunday. Pray my strength LOL...

Sunday, April 17, 2011

One Week Left

Missed a blog yesterday - DAMN! Well in my defense, me and the midgets went out to eat and had a hell of a time tryna get back home in the monsoon, and when I got home, I had to get them all packed and ready to go upstate this morning. they only been gone four hours, and I miss em already :(.... anyway, I did a couple blogs the other day, so yall straight LOL.

Heading to DC tomorrow, for a couple of days. First time Im able to go for longer than the day, since I brought the midgets down. Figured I would take advantage of the opportunity. My boss wants to see me more often anyway, and I think he and I have a chat with our name on it. I really need to get some answers about some things, so I can feel comfortable in my role. I dont really feel like I can get settled, not knowing whats really good.

I'll be back in the NY office on Wednesday and headed to Chicago on Thursday night. Cant wait. Then I land back in Jersey Saturday morning, and get right on the road upstate, to pick up the midgets. Long week ahead of me, y'all, but Im still gonna try to hold up my end of the blogging bargain. Only one more week. I think I can make it LOL.

Friday, April 15, 2011

My Nephew Dropped a Bomb On Me

So I found out today that my nephew is getting married. NEXT WEEK LOL.

*sigh*

I was dumbfounded at first. FLOORED. He's 22 and has never even SEEN a successful relationship, let alone had one. Just in the last few months, his FB statuses have indicated that his mind was still all over the place, but when I talked to him today, he said he loves her and knows that he will never want to be with anyone else. I told him that was cool, but that he should realize that he doesnt have to be married to her to prove that. He said he knew that but just wanted to do things the right way and not continue to be living in sin LOL

*staring into the camera*

Living in sin? Really? You gonna try to play me like that, money? LOL He started telling me how much he loves her and she is so different than the other girls he has dealt with and "Auntie, she asked me what my 10-yr plan was. Nobody has ever asked me that before." Ok. "She wouldnt even have sex with me right away, she aint wanna be giving her body to me just to be giving it to me. We didnt have sex for like a month."

*staring into the camera* and LMAO!

A month, huh? She GOTS to be the one LOL. *smh* I dont know his girl but from what I was told, she is 23, with a five and two-year old, own place and car. Thats all I know. My nephew is 22, with a (I think) four-year old and neither of them other two, but is apparently living with her now. So I dig a little bit and find out how long they have been "together"..... four months.

*staring into the camera*

Ok. So if he was just 22, I might not have said so much. If he were older and it had been only four months, I might not have said so much. But he is 22 AND they have only been together four months. That is a recipe for disaster.

Nobody really knows at 22 that they wanna spend the rest of their life with somebody. They definitely dont know after only four months. I been with my baby for the same amount of time and we have kicked around the idea of marriage, but having been through some real shit in our lives, we know we need wait a little longer and make sure we are sure. You dont know that at 22. So then Im like well ok, he's convinced that she is the one. Fine, but why so fast? Why it gotta be next weekend? And somehow the words came out, without me even really thinking about it: "I mean, what, is she pregnant?" "Yeah, just a couple weeks."

*staring into the camera*

First of all, I was really only kinda joking when I asked kinda LOL.... I didnt expect him to say yes. And I sort of get the feeling he threw in that "couple weeks" so it wouldnt look like the pregnancy was the reason for the microwave nuptials, since he told me they decided to get married a month ago, but I was born AT night, not LAST night LOL.

He told me how they met and proceeded to tell me how I was right in saying that if he stopped looking for love it would find him. He told me I am always right - just like I was right about his son's mother - but it didnt seem to dawn on him that I might be right about this being too soon to marry this girl. I hope to God that this is the one time I'm wrong.

I told him they should take a couple of months, at least, and just enjoy being engaged. Just give it time to breathe. I explained how much harder it will be to separate himself from her if he finds he was wrong about her being the one. I told him that he doesnt have to marry this girl to prove that he is a stand-up guy and that he loves this girl, but I know he is always going to do what he wants to do. There is no changing his mind once its made up.

I have no doubt that he will at least think about the things I said to him, but when its all said and done, he will probably still be at that gazebo outside my mom's house next Saturday. So I told him that no matter what he does, I love him and will always have his back, and I am genuinely happy that he has found someone he believes in....... and then I begged him some more to wait LOL.

He wont. I know it. But damn.

It's his life. Far be it from me to try to tell him what to do. I'm just trying to keep him from making a painful and costly mistake.

When I think back to 22, I thought I knew what was best for me. Most people wouldnt believe such a thing exists, but he is a lot more stubborn than I am LOL. I didnt make a horrible choice at 22 though, I must say. It didnt work out, but I had four out of six good years LOL. If I knew then what I know now, I might not have made the same choice though, and that's all I was trying to convey to him. Alas, he is grown at 22, and we cant place degrees on adulthood at some times, and then dictate 18 or 21 is go-time at others. He is grown, and he will do what he wants to do. Im his favorite aunt, and I will continue to be so.... even at the divorce proceedings in three years.....

*sigh*

Where's my damn glass.......

My Morning Giggle

Found it on MSN.





http://www.examiner.com/pop-culture-in-canada/catholic-church-pulls-mcdonalds-ad-the-philippines?fb_comment=31998521


"Philippines - The Catholic Church has successfully pressured McDonalds to pull a television ad in the Philippines that showed an eight year old girl asking an eight your old boy to be her boyfriend. Stop the presses - the first sign of the apocalypse is upon us.

In the commercial the girl asks the boy to be her boyfriend, and is told by the boy that he is not interested because girls are too demanding. That in itself might be reason to have a commercial pulled, but is not the reason at all the Catholic Church is up in arms.

Having failed at swaying the young boy through her own charms, the girl throws down her hand on the table and reveals that she was kind of hoping they could go get some fries ... you know ... at McDonalds.

BINGO! He is all about it now.

So here we have a case of stereotypical male chauvinism, and outdated ideas that women are just all about a man's money - this must be what the Catholic Church was trying to quash right? Not quite.

The Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines, an organization of clergy for the Catholic Church in the country, was so shocked at the idea that two children could have affection for each other that they immediately insisted the ad be pulled.

Bowing to pressure from the church, the ad was voluntarily pulled before anyone could even finish singing the Big Mac song - "Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese ... "

There seems to have been no problem at all with the questionable undertones of male and female gender stereotypes, but a problem there was indeed with the idea that a young girl might ask a young boy to be her boyfriend.

It seems these days that the Catholic Church cannot make up its mind if it is trying to stop gay couples from shacking up, hide their priests from molestation charges or, seemingly now, to stop heterosexual children from establishing social connections and positive life experiences.

You can call a woman a gold digger, you can let a misogynistic male degrade women, but as God as their witness the Catholic Church will not stand for puppy love."

*****


LOL but *smh*

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Peace Out, Pine Valley

http://tv.msn.com/tv/article.aspx?news=641229>1=28103

ABC is cancelling "All My Children" and "One Life To Live." Damn. I havent watched "the stories" in years, but I recognize the magnitude of this decision. I realize networks have to do what's necessary to maintain their viewing audience, and maybe today's daytime patrons aren't really feeling the soaps. I dont know. While I'm sure ABC thinks its the best thing for their ratings, even they have to think it's bittersweet - pretty sure the article stated that, now that I think about it.

Damn. No more Ericka Kane? No more Nicki/Vicki shenanigans? No more todd and Marley and Nora and Dixie and Clint and Toby and Kunta and.... wait, am I making people up? LOL Whatever, I just know its sad LOL. I only watched "All My Children" for a brief time, but I remember being glued to the TV for "One Life To Live" when I was in college. Muhfuckas getting abducted by aliens and all, I was still watching LOL. Let somebody die off the show, that would be a somber day. ALL day. It be 10:30 and somebody's reply to "what's wrong?" would be that Asa Buchanan died today LOL. And you better believe a twenty minute conversation would ensue after that, about whether or not they thought Nicki was gonna finally get caught LOL.

Ahh man. End of an era. I tip my hat.

White Noise

I left work today wanting to punch random people in the face. I hate being put in a situation where I have to bite my tongue when I know another person is taking advantage of me. I played it smart though - I didnt respond to the email I received from that one rep that makes me wanna put his head through a wall. Tomorrow I will call him, with my team lead within earshot and say, "Ok so you want me to do A, B and C? Well Sean.... what YOU gonna do?" LOL My team lead already cant stand him and is still pissed off about the okie doke he tried to pull yesterday, so I'll end up not having to deal with it at all. Passive aggressiveness FTW!

I dont know if Im really starting to not like my job and the way my role is changing, or if I should just chalk this up to a bad day and hope for better tomorrow. I guess I will just give it to God, as I always do, and wait to see what He has to say about it. Right about now, His is the only voice I really wanna hear..... well..... and maybe "his" LOL....

"Guide me until Im sure....."

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

OOOOOOMG!

I dont remember the last time I have been this fucken pissed off.

I have been on the phone all damn morning, trying to get my money refunded from a Western Union transfer that was accidentally run twice. The error was pointed out IMMEDIATELY - I mean, in the middle of the transaction - so there was no skirting of responsibility for the operator who fucked up. Why, then, after being told I would have my money in 2-3 business days, did it take two weeks to resolve? And I cant even say it was resolved, cause in the end, my bank posted a temporary credit to my account, in the amount of the transaction, pending investigation. So while its over for me, because I know their investigation is gonna yield that Western Union fucked up, the matter is still open. Who runs a business like this?

Sometimes I feel like businesses like Western Union purposely piss you off, so you can get so frustrated that you just say fuck it, and stop pursuing the refund. Fuck. That. You gonna gimme my bread. If I gotta call your company president at his mama's house, you WILL refund me my money. Four times, in the last 12 days, I've had to call and see where my money was. Four times, I was nice. I was professional. Time number five? Yeah. I was still as professional as one could possibly be while tearing somebody a new asshole, but it wasnt pretty. I got my damn money though. Sometimes you gotta get a little loud to make your point. Dont get ghetto though. They expect that. When you get ghetto and belligerent, it gives them license to write you off. They dont know what to do when you "bring your briefcase" as I like to call it. Then they realize you mean business.

*RME*

Im still on the exhale right now tho, these muthafuckas had me hot. I would really love to be smoking something right now...... guess I better settle for a "woosah" and another cup-o-joe.... *smh*

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Kodak Moments



Arent they just the most adorable little peanuts you ever seen in your life? LOL This had to be like 5 years ago - she's 9 now, and he's 13 - but it made me smile so big when I saw it, I just had to post it.

This is what I love about T-Mobile. And maybe other carriers do it too, IDK, but they save all your pics to an online gallery, that you, no doubt, completely forget about until you are bored out of your mind on some random day and just start browsing your account. There are so many pictures in my gallery from times gone by that I had to stop and reminisce on a couple of them, thinking about where I was at the time the picture was taken, or what I was doing. For some, I couldnt remember, but I do know one thing - I was killin em out there! And I didnt even know it LOL. You ever looked at pics of yourself from like 5, even 3 years ago and realize you had no fucken idea how good you had it? 3-5 years ago, I was "getting fat" to let me tell it LOL. I look at those pics today and Im like DAMN, SON! LOL I needed my ass kicked. I still need my ass kicked LOL. I am kickin my own ass right now LOL. *smh*

But its on tho, LOL....


Monday, April 11, 2011

Im Not Going To Jail.... Yet

I finally did my taxes yall.

I do em myself every year, but this year, with the move and everything, I just didnt wanna be bothered with the complications of having to figure out all my deductions and liabilities and what not. But since I waited til the last minute, nobody could get me in before Monday's deadline. I finally sucked it up and just said eff it, let's do it.

I got my Paul, I got my black, and I got my kids pumped with the fear of God, that if they knock on this door for anything less than somebody bleeding profusely, or lying unresponsive on the floor, they will find out, firsthand, if Heaven got a ghetto LOL.

Im getting a little something back, but I still aint paid what they tried to play me and say I owed last year (in NY) so Im probably gonna end up with lunch money, but hey, its all good. Im just glad I dont owe..... well actually, thats not true either. I did owe NJ, but its a small enough amount that Im not losing no sleep over it.

I hope yall did yall taxes already. You got an extra couple of days this year - the deadline is the 18th. Get it done, folks, I cant afford bail.... AND, with the government talking about a shutdown, you better look like you gonna get on the good foot ASAP, or you gonna be lookin like Goony Goo Goo, swinging your feet, talkin bout life aint fair LOL. If there's a shut down, your refund is gonna be shut down too. Get hot. That is all.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Back On The Court

Those buzzer beaters from the last couple nights got me in here early today LOL. That shit is for the birds.

But I went back to the court today. Shot a little better than last week, and even played a little "D" on my son, who swears he's Allen Iverson. You cant tell that boy he aint got no handle, but he didnt get past me not one time - at least not WITH the ball LOL. That goes to show how much work he needs, cause ya girl and her gimp ankle aint moving that fast LOL. To make matters worse, I caught a cramp in my butt. What part of the game is that? In my butt though? LOL *smh*

Anyway, Im definitely not as sore as I was last week, but then again, we weren't up there as long today. Did a lotta walking though.... the midgets (and my daughter's friend) made me take em to McDonalds after the park, which is in the opposite direction of the friend's house, who we had to drop off before doubling BACK in the other direction to go home. so yeah, I got my exercise today.

I probably should have just gotten the grilled chicken sandwich today instead of the whole meal. I really want that scale to say that I lost another 5 lbs when I weigh in tomorrow morning. I didnt eat all my fries. That's gotta count for something LOL. One thing I will say about that Weight Watchers - it does make you more conscious of how much you are eating. Portion control is a big part of the doctrine. I can think of several times this week when I stopped in the middle of eating something because I didnt "feel hungry" anymore. I am only going into my third week and Im already consciously choosing what I eat based on how hungry I feel and not just what I have a taste for. I had a setback last week - gained back 3 lbs - so I'm a little more conscious of what I put in my mouth now...... ooooh, that did NOT sound right, LMAO!

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Dammit, Man! (aka 3 Minutes)

I did it again. Almost forgot to come in here. *smh* Long as I started before midnight, it counts LOL

Aw hell, its 11:59.... I win.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Six Minutes To Spare

Damn! I almost forgot again today LOL. Probably shoulda just skipped it cause I aint got shit to talk about, but I said every day til Easter and dammit Ima [try to] keep my word.

Oh! Now yall know I love me some New Edition/BBD right? How bout they gonna be upstate on the same night Im going to Chicago.... THEN they gonna be in Chicago the next night and Im not gonna be able to go. I could kick a puppy right now LOL. SO mad. *smh* Thats okay though, Ima see em one of these days, I promise I am.

Til then..... I guess there's always Charlie Sheen.....

*sigh*

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Drop It Like Its Hawt

Ahhhhhh! LOL My bad yall, I missed yesterday. I didnt even realize it. In my defense though, yesterday was a crazy day. I think I thought I already did it, and my lazy self never came in here to check. Oops. Oh well.

I was watching America's Best Dance Crew tonight and I wonder if they accept chair dancers. I be gettin it, yall, for real LOL. I can do all the new dances when Im sitting down. All I need is like five or six other people who be killin it sitting down, and we can get it in. Ima start a casting call. CALLING ALL CHAIR DANCERS! CALLING ALL CHAIR DANCERS!

You know what though? I need to find the Sun Drop girl. She think she be doing it. I want a battle, Sun Drop girl. Im calling you out! See me, son! You dont want it!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Free Credit Reports

Just went online to view my credit reports from all three bureaus. If you havent seen yours in a while, you can go to www.annualcreditreport.com and view and print copies of reports from Transunion, Equifax and Experian. Please note that you can only do this for free once every 12 months. You can also call 877-322-8228 to have copies from all three bureaus mailed to you.

Pull your credit histories, dispute whatever shouldnt be there and start a payment plan for everything else.

This public service announcement has been brought to you by Doctor Dig and GetYourLife Productions LOL.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Maybe Not




http://movies.msn.com/paralleluniverse/jaden-will-smith-runite-for-sci-fi-film/story/feature/?GT1=28140

Jaden and Will Smith Reunite for Sci-Fi Adventure
The film is set 1,000 years in future and is based on a screenplay by "The Sixth Sense" director

By Brent Lang
TheWrap.com

Jaden Smith will star opposite his father, Will Smith, for director M. Night Shyamalan in an untitled sci-fi adventure, Sony announced on Monday.

Set 1,000 years in the future, the film centers on a young boy who navigates an abandoned Earth to save himself and his estranged father after their ship crashes.

"The chance to make a scary, science-fiction film starring Jaden and Will is my dream project," Shyamalan said in a statement.

Shyamalan and Will Smith will produce with James Lassiter, Jada Pinkett Smith and Ken Stovitz, Smith's partners at Overbrook Entertainment. The screenplay is by M. Night Shyamalan and Gary Whitta.

The two Smiths previously collaborated on two high-grossing Sony films -- co-starring in 2006's "The Pursuit of Happyness" and last summer's "Karate Kid," which Jaden starred in and Will produced.

Everything Will Smith and his brood touches lately turns to gold, with Jaden's "Karate Kid" grossing $359 million worldwide and daughter Willow also launching a successful singing career.

However, Shyamalan has hit a rough patch recently, with the critically derided "The Happening" and "The Lady in the Water" marring some of the artistic promise of "The Sixth Sense." His most recent film, "The Last Airbender," still managed to gross $320 million worldwide, despite a critical drubbing.

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Ummmmm...... IDK bout this one yall. Sounds like "I Am Legend" minus the dog, plus a kid. I think Ima have to pass.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Off The Bench

So my son finally got me up to the basketball court with him today. I knew I wasnt gonna actually "play" because I didnt have on sneakers, (we were out and about for something else and my joining him at the park was an afterthought) but I figured I could rebound for him while he shot around, and it would give me a chance to finally peep what his game is like.

After a while, he started getting tired and asked if I wanted to shoot. Why not? Went to the free throw line, leather jacket and all, looking crazy, then after the first shot, which didnt even hit the rim, ALL my shit flew outta my pockets LOL. *smh*

Common sense kicked in and I laid my jacket, along with the zip up hoodie I was wearing under it, on the ground, under the basket. I went back to the free throw line, making a mockery of my previous life's work, until I resigned myself to shooting from under the basket. My arms have gotten weak. Let's try to get the form right again and work our way back.

Ok, we're looking good here. Move on back. Not bad. Let's move back some more. Things started getting a little sketchy at that point, but I was close enough to the free throw line that I might as well be behind it. Slide back. The wind is blowing in my eyes, so my eyes are tearing up and I cant see, but Im still shooting. I aint hitting much of nothing, but dammit, Im still shooting. At the point that I realized I could no longer feel my arms, I decided it was break time and gave the ball back to my son.

All the while, Im coaching him on how to produce a better jumper, and he's still kinda doing whatever the hell he wants. Ok, he thinking Mommy got nerve tryna tell him what to do when I was shooting like a paraplegic with cataracts LOL. Now I need him to see what time it is.

So I take the ball back and return to the foul line. Now Im focused. Im still not doing '91 Scottie Pippen, but Im knocking down a lot more of them than I was on my last turn. What Im doing now is talking my son through my shots. I tell him what Im doing wrong and what Im doing to correct it and the following shots were falling, but I'll be damned if getting that ball to do what I wanted it to do wasnt taking every iota of strength in my body LOL. I was getting a rhythm though. I started stepping into his passes as he returned the ball, tapping that right foot like I used to do and actually taking off from the ground as I released the shot. I dont know what the hell it was looking like, but it felt really good LOL.

Eventually, I got winded and had to go back to rebounding, but I think my son has a new-found respect for me now. He actually started listening a little bit when I told him what to do. Hey, just cause I cant really DO the shit no more, dont mean I dont know what Im talking about LOL.

Just in the knick of time, the boricuas on the far end of the court decided that they were gonna "run full" so I took advantage of the opportunity to get the hell outta there LOL. My son wasnt quite ready, and we probably could have stayed where we were on the side court and not been in the way, but my ankle was killing me and I couldnt feel my arms. He didnt care about that, but throw in a little "...and Im hungry now" and suddenly food becomes the objective LOL.

I thought that walk home was gonna be the longest three blocks known to man, but then my baby called and I spent the whole walk telling him how tragically out of shape I am and laughing at the pain I was in. Before I knew it, I was home, collapsing on my bed. I stayed there for at least an hour before I got up the strength to finally hit the showers, but I knew it was the closest I was gonna get to a hot tub or masseuse, so I sucked it up. Five hours later, I still feel like somebody beat me with a building, but I managed to suffer through baking some catfish for dinner and doing two loads of laundry, helping my daughter with her math homework and ridding my sink of all the dishes that had piled up, so given the circumstances, I am very proud of my efforts.

I know Im gonna be in pain for the next two days, but I think it was worth it to feel the rush of being back out on the court again. I didnt realize, until today, how much I actually miss it. My son has been trying to get me to go with him for the last two or three weeks. Maybe next week, he wont have to try so hard...

Get Your Life

I saw more than a few Facebook posts today about "realness" - what it is, if it even exists anymore, and who is or isnt. I just have to say that there are some really delusional people out there.

First of all, real recognizes real. If that word describes you, you dont have to shout it from the rooftops. People will flock to you on the strength of your flow alone. The ones screaming "real" are the ones you have to watch, because, trust you me, they'll be the ones stabbing you in the back.

Second of all, when did it become cute for a woman to say they dont fuck with chicks or they dont have any female friends? They usually say its because females are drama, but take this one word of advice: never trust a woman who says that shit. There aint a decent woman in the world who cant get along with ANY other females. When that's the case, that chick is fucked up in some way, shape or form and you need to stay away from her ass.

The same goes for those who say they dont have any friends (or a relationship of any kind) because they too real. Who the fuck is so real that nobody can appreciate it? NOBODY? COME ON SON. Stop yourself. You aint got no friends because youre a fucked up individual and nobody wants to have to fuck you up for being an asshole on the wrong day LOL. I know. There are a couple of people I had fade to black on for that very reason. There's two things I dont have - patience and bail money LOL. Convinced you dont need anybody? I call bullshit. We ALL need somebody at some point or another.

I couldnt even comment on the threads I was reading because I already knew it was going to end badly. The so-called "real" people were already getting defensive with the folks who told them they were full of shit LOL. "I dont stab people in the back, I'll stab you in your face." Really? You are just so awesome, I cant even stand it LOL.

*smh*

People need to get their fucken lives. Just get em LOL.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Shout Out to the Midgets

I have the funniest kids on the planet.

They know all the dialogue to every Martin episode ever made, but they also know the difference between the Chilites and Harold Melvin and the Bluenotes, and can conjugate a verb like nobody's business. Weapons of mass destruction - times two - and I dont know where.... or who I would be without them.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Is Your Diet Making You a Jerk?

http://health.msn.com/health-topics/depression/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100271059>1=31009

"Reaching for an apple instead of chips may feel righteous at the time but cause you to lash out later, suggests a new study slated for publication in the Journal of Consumer Research.

In one of the study’s experiments, people had to pick an apple or chocolate, then they were asked to choose between two movies with the same star but “happy” or “angry” themes: think Adam Sandler in either Billy Madison or Anger Management. People who chose the apple were more likely to choose Anger Management. Other experiments in the study backed up the findings: When people make a wise or restrained choice, their subsequent reactions are more angry than people who gave in to their impulses."

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OMG, this is soooooooooo true! LMAO!

This is why I refuse to diet. People who diet tend to get real miserable after a couple weeks, and who can blame them? You'd be miserable too if you reduced your options to rice cakes and lettuce. But what sane person does that to themselves? LOL

But its even worse than being angry and bitter. Dieters get real self-absorbed. I have had friends that have made me wanna choke the life out of em when they were dieting. Not only were they trying to convince themselves it was okay to eat nothing but lettuce and sand (LOL), but they think YOU supposed to live off lettuce and sand too! My plate aint got nothing to do with you LOL. Plus, it seemed like their diet was all they talked about. Who wants to be around somebody with nothing to talk about but what they cant eat and you not feeling like going to the gym today? Not me. Go or dont go. Im still having pizza tonight LOL.

Matter of fact, I have a friend at work who is the prime example of foolishness. This nut doesnt even eat food, except at night, and he only eats it at night because he be starving and cant sleep if he doesnt eat. The rest of the day, he's drinking this pink protein powder and black coffee. Occasionally you might see him eat a buncha fruit, or a small bowl of kashi cereal, but generally speaking, the nut dont eat. I can turn around right now and see him scooping from the big ass container of powder under his desk. *smh* If you dont go get you a sandwich LOL.

Thats why I like this Weight Watchers thing. They dont tell you that you cant have pizza. They just want you to share the pizza with other people LOL. You cant have the WHOLE pizza LOL. And I can get with that. Who cant do that much? LOL

Diets - nah, Im good on that. I would be the most angry dieting ass out here LOL. I do not fare well with substitutions. If I want something, what I get needs to be THAT, or Ima be pissed off. Even if you cant tell. Ima be pissed off on the INSIDE LOL. And thats even worse, cause it will come outta nowhere when I flip out LOL. So its just the best thing for everybody involved. Let me have what I want and nobody gets hurt LOL.

Happy Friday yall.

Oh I was gonna do an April Fool's Day post but.......... thats stupid. LOL


Bye!