Monday, May 30, 2011

Letter to My Favorite Internet Friend

(posting tonight for tomorrow)

Dear Shanna,

As you know, I have a million friends, between the Facebooks and the Myspaces and the other various sites I belong to, but many of them have become irreplaceable pieces of my real life, and lucky for you, that makes you winner by default LOL. But seriously, of all the ones I know solely via the internet, I'd have to give you the crown for being my favorite.

I dont even remember anymore how we came to be friends, but its been a few years now. I cant help but feel like you would fit right in with my real life friends and I, sitting around, sipping on something, laughing and griping about life's bullshit. You embody a lot of qualities that are reminiscent of the others in my circle. Many a time, I can imagine my girlfriend Jaeda dubbing you her "twin", as you remind me most of her.... well I guess, since she's already claimed a twin in my circle, that would make you a triplet, but you get the idea LOL.

I hope one day we make good on our plan to finally get together and hang out. If Im ever in Cali, I will be sure to look you up. If you're ever in New York, first round is on me.

PEAAAAAAAAACE! (two fingers)

Dig

Letter to My Ex

I am amazed that we even speak at all now. Of course, it wasnt automatic - it took a while for you to call after we parted ways, and even longer for me to pick up. I honestly wasnt sure I cared to hear anything you had to say. After all, you had already said so much.

"You dont wanna let a man be a man." I didnt realize I had to "let" you - you either are, or youre not.

"You want to be the man in the relationship." No, I just want one who can be.

"Why you always gotta have an opinion?" So, I should just sit here and be pretty?

I make light of it now, but it was hurtful; being made into a person I knew I wasnt - a person YOU knew I wasnt - because you were feeling inadequate, as if the fault were mine. Screaming on me for picking up a case of water and loading it onto the shopping cart, as if that action had somehow served to immasculate you. "You got a MAN here with you, that's a MAN's job." Ok, but after having to ask you three times to grab it and having you act like I was trying to tell you what to do, I think it should be okay that I just grab it myself.

For a while, you almost had me going. For a while, I wondered if it was me.

Like many men, you were taught that the man is the head of the relationship and the woman should be submissive. Meanwhile, here I am, so "not" that, and there was nothing you could do about it, except try your hardest to break me down. I always found it interesting how your mommy issues motivated you more to try to tear me down, than to get out of her house, but I digress. Lesser women may have buckled under your verbal attacks, while I chose to just stare at you and wonder what would make a man so bold as to think a house, in which he paid nothing and did not live, required him to run it.

For the longest, I looked at the word "submissive" as a vulgarity - if nothing else, something foreign for which I had nor wanted any understanding. If this was what it meant to submit to a man, I didnt want any parts of it. But it wasnt me. It was you. YOU were doing it wrong.

To assume the driver's seat, one must be able to drive. You, sir, didnt even have a license - in neither the figurative nor literal sense LOL. See, it took for me to get with someone capable of leading for me to learn to follow, and it has nothing to do with an iron fist or condescending to anyone. Its a matter of trust, respect, and a shared vision, none of which you displayed during our shortlived tryst, hence the reason it was shortlived.

But I wish the best for every person I've decided to walk away from, and you were no different, so I forgave it and moved on. I wasnt the least bit surprised when the phone calls started coming; you wanting to see me.... come over.... work it out. Hmmpfh. Im good, bruh. But no hard feelings, because the truth is, amidst your well thought out but empty apologies, I kinda feel sorry for you. Delusional as you are, you have a lot of potential. Unfortunately, that's about all you've got. STILL. Three years later. At your mom's house. Waiting for a ride.

Yeah. Im good.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Letter To a Stranger

Dear stranger-

I was raised not to speak to you, but nobody ever said I couldnt write a sternly worded letter LOL.

Lady in the terminal, please explain to me why you felt it necessary to be walking SO CLOSE behind me the other day? Exactly how close do you have to be riding someone’s heels to step on them and take their sneaker clean off their foot? Simply unacceptable.

Matter of fact, this is a letter to morning commuters in general: WTF is your problem? LOL what are you, june bugs? Are you all flying around blind through the subway and streets of New York? You’re like a bunch of zombies or robots with shorted fuses or something. Even when you are watching where you’re going (which is hardly ever) you will see that you are about to walk right into me, but for some reason, your sense of “oh shit, Im bout to run into her” does not kick in LOL. One of these mornings, Ima peel back and clothesline one of you summamabitches!

Lastly, to the mysterious recruit who decided to disappear from base for three days, I would just like you to know that I spent 7 hours on a sweltering bus yesterday to get upstate, where I would drop my kids off with my mother and subsequently board a flight to Chicago, with plans to spend the weekend with the most amazing man that I have had the pleasure of being in a relationship with in quite some time. Please be aware that if he ends up not being able to leave work this morning so that we can embark on the wonderful day that we have planned in the city, due to your antics, he is going to ensure that the remainder of your stay in the training program is hell, and I, for one, will not lose a bit of sleep.

Consider yourself briefed.

Dig

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Letter To My Dreams

Dear dreams,

At four years old, you made me believe I was going to be Wonder Woman when I grew up. After a couple hours of being lost in the street, barefoot, in a Wonder Woman bathing suit, and having to be returned home by the police, I figured my super powers weren't as keen as they'd need to be in order to make that happen. Oh well, at least I got an ice cream cone out of it.

I think that experience bruised your ego, because after that, it took a while for you to return to me. When you did, you set my heart on being an FBI agent. It would have been nice to know that getting that tattoo and fucking up my credit were surefire ways to exclude myself from the selection process.

Ever resilient, you returned with a back up plan - let's be a lawyer! Cool, I'm wit it. No reason I can't do that, right? Graduated from high school with a 3.81 GPA and finished my college career on the Dean's list.... oh yeah... I forgot about that pesky pregnancy thing. Dammit! How am I gonna go to law school now with a brand new baby and nobody to watch him while I commute three or four days a week to a school forty-five minutes away? Guess you didnt think that one all the way through, but you told me I could always go back and do it later, once my son got older, and I believed you, only by the time that happened, you decided you didnt wanna do that anymore either.

Model, forensic investigator, photographer, and WNBA superstar all came and went (to name just a few), but if nothing else, I have to give you credit for all the work I put into every last area you created intrigue in, resulting in being a well-rounded person with a gaggle of useless information stored in my brain, even though it really serves no other purpose than obliterating Jeopardy contestants from my couch at home. I still commend you for your persistence, never leaving me without something to strive toward, even if the goal will have changed by the time I reach the end of the path that leads me there. You never allow me to stop dreaming, even if I sometimes dont have a clear picture of the end game. Onward and upward is good enough for me. It's because of you that I made the move to relocate my family and do what I can to open new doors for myself and the midgets, and even this brass ring should disappear tomorrow, landing me square back onto an enclosed porch in an upstate, Westside neighborhood, I will have been better for trying.

Love,
Dig - aspiring best-selling author

Friday, May 27, 2011

Letter To My Sisters

I love yall.

I remember fights with both of you when I was younger….. Kim, I don’t remember what me and you got into it about that time, but Kiren? Oh Lord, we were always fighting and you know Mommy didn’t play that fighting stuff. I remember the time we were fighting over the fan LMAO! In retrospect, its funny as hell, but I was vexed with you that day. I got over it. We both always did. When it came down to it, there was never anything that could get between us, and Im happy to say that that has not changed.

Kim, when I was little, you were a stranger to me. Seven year’s difference is a lot when youre little. We didn’t seem to have a whole lot in common and you were always off doing something that didn’t include me, so I really never thought I’d ever get to know you, but you were always my idol. I always thought you were so pretty, and you were a cheerleader, which everybody knows is like…. awesome LOL. When you left the nest, it broke my little heart. How was I ever gonna get to know you now?

Well, I am pleased to say that my worry was for naught, for as time brought us both to maturity, that seven years didn’t seem so wide a gap to mind, and we are closer now than I could ever have hoped we’d be.

Kiren, I know you hated having to take me everywhere with you when we were little, but please believe me when I say I didn’t wanna go either LOL. I was perfectly happy in the house, reading something, but had you not been forced to take me with you all the time, who would have noticed all the little things that were wrong, to tell Ma? I shudder to think of my condition going unnoticed for much longer than it did. The long and short of it is – however inadvertently – you saved my life.

Its interesting how as much as we fought, you and I were DAWGS. I think you recognized my coolness before anybody else did. You were always my biggest fan and promoter. When I found out you were moving out of state, I couldn’t imagine you not being here, and I didn’t want you to go. I still wish you hadn’t, but I’ve always respected your will to be and do whatever you felt like at the time LOL. I guess that might be where I got it from.

For the three of us to come from the same woman, we couldn’t be more different. But I think the differences are what gel us together…. Kinda like puzzle pieces. Where there is a dip in one’s makeup, there is a protrusion in another’s, and placed side by side, they interlock, with just barely visible seams around the edges. Those seams, to me, represent the things uncommon. The seams symbolize the various ways we each were affected differently by being our mother’s daughters – our individual trials, insecurities and secrets to be taken to the grave. I see her influence in you and often wonder if you see it too. I wonder if you realize she’s the reason you do….. “that”…….. why you wont do “that”…….. and why you cant do “that”……. I wonder if you know that I do…. wont…. and cant either…….

Still, we love her fiercely. In all her trials, insecurities and secrets to be taken to the grave. Her barely visible seams outline the various ways in which she has been affected by having the three of us for daughters. I see our impact and often wonder if she sees it too.

One of the many things she got right, was forging the sisterly bond we boast so proudly today. We’ve never had the division amongst us so prevalent in nearly every other branch of our family tree. We’ve never had fallouts that took us out of each other’s lives, as was standard fare in previous generations. Though distance has now come between the three of us, I know that nothing else ever will, and I am glad to call you both “my sister.”

Forever Dig.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Letter To My Parents

Dear Parents,

I figured you would be on the list of letters I had to write, but I was hoping it would be like….. 27 days from now LOL. I really don’t want to beat a dead horse – all up and through the bitterness and resentment – so I will succinctly say that despite the issues I have with you both, I benefitted from having you as parents…..

Mom, I learned a lot about what not to do by watching you suffer through the outcomes of bad decisions. That’s not a negative statement, although it probably sounds like one. I think the duty of all parents is to lead by example and show their children the way….. keep them from making as many of the mistakes you made as possible. Mission accomplished. If you weren’t always afraid someone was judging you, you might be able to learn from them too.

That being said, I was glad to hear that you have finally taken my advice and returned to school. I hope 2012 has much more awaiting you than just a degree.

Dad…… *dry heave*……..Im sorry, I still…… cant….. quite…….. *sigh*……….Listen, LOL. The best thing about you as my father, was that you weren’t there. That sounds negative too, I know, but this time I really didn’t mean for it to be. The point I was getting at was that I really like the person I have become and I would hate to think your presence and influence might have interfered with that.

Thank God you two didn’t stay together. Im already two bad days away from the other side of the couch as it is LOL…..

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Letter To My Crush



Dear Crush,

I remember when we first met….. damn….. has it really been twenty years? I guess so.

I remember walking into the gym, from the hallway, and watching all the people shuffling around on the bleachers. Players were dressing and undressing, families were finding seats, and all I wanted was for everybody to get outta my way, so I could get back behind the score table and do my job LOL. This was pretty much the scenario every week, and then one day, you showed up.

You were kinda short for my taste, but incredibly cute. You had this innocent look about you – I hadn’t yet learned that that should have been the biggest indicator that you were far from it LOL. I just wanted to know your name.

I got lucky when I realized you had come in with some people I already knew. I didn’t want to make it a big deal, so I tried my hardest to downplay my inquiry, but your uncle saw it coming from a mile away LOL. The nice thing about it was that you had asked about me too. Oh happy day! LOL

Weeks went by and we’d had a bunch of conversations on the phone. One week, you even threatened a boy who was playing too rough with me on the basketball court. You were my hero – I felt like the blonde-haired girl in the karate kid and Peter Cetera played in my head every time I saw you after that LOL. Then one day, you were gone.

I asked your uncle where you were and he said you were on punishment. I was bummed, but I figured you would be back the next week….. but you never came back. I called a couple of times and your mom said you couldn’t have any phone calls. I wondered what such an innocent-faced boy could have possibly done to get into so much trouble, but after a while, it didn’t matter anymore. I stopped calling, because I got tired of not being able to speak to you and I figured you would eventually just call me when you got out of the dungeon LOL. But you never did. And just like that, you became a memory.

I wonder whatever happened to you…… oh yeah, that’s right. You found me on Facebook and now you’re my boyfriend LOL. Funny how things work out, huh?

See you Saturday! LOL

Forever, Dig

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Letter to My Best Friend

Dear best friend,

As an adult, the words “best friend” don’t quite roll off the tongue LOL. It seems sort of juvenile to have to reference someone as such, but even when I was younger, I have never introduced anyone as “my best friend, so and so,” even though they usually introduced me that way. I guess I’ve never cared much for labels. If I don’t call you my best friend, does it make you any less so? Of course not. But more so than that, as an adult, I have found that as I grew as a person, I found common threads with other close friends, which made them also invaluable to me. So I don’t have a best friend – I have a small circle of friends, each of whom have something different to offer, and who each take different pieces from me. I find the term “best friend” kind of off-putting, personally. It always sounds so territorial. People who use it tend to wield it like it makes them a better friend than you, or like they just wanna “let you know” that they are the priority in the friend’s life, NOT YOU!!! (so there, LOL)

I just think its stupid.

But to my small circle of girlfriends who all serve individual purposes in my life and are teathered to specific aspects of the drama in my life, I love you, and I cannot imagine what my life would be like had I not had you in it. To the ones who know something is going on but never ask, waiting for me to bring it to the table, thank you for respecting my space and privacy. To the ones who know something is going on and ask me directly what it is, knowing I probably will never bring it to the table on my own, thank you for forcing me to live outside of myself and see how my personal shit affects others, even when I dont mean for it to, or realize that it does. To those who have shown up at my house with a bottle and a box, and just sat with me saying nothing at all, thank you. To those who have read a distressed FB status or blog and offered words of encouragement, just so I never forgot that 350 miles is still only a text message away, thank you. To those who have laughed with me, cried with me, plotted and schemed with me, taken up for me and valued my presence in your lives as much as I have valued yours in mine, thank you.

I am so proud of the directions all of you are going, even when I dont necessarily agree with the path you choose to get there. I respect the conscious decisions you make to be happy, even when it causes you to tell me little white lies. I love your desire to be your own people, even when I find you to be delusional in the process. Direction, conscious decisions and desire are all I ever want for you. Find it by any means necessary. Happiness awaits at the end of the road.

I only hope that I have been as good a friend to you all as I like to believe I have. I hope I have been there for you in times of need, listened when you didnt really want to do anything other than vent, and given you advice unbiased by my own beliefs when asked. Please know that I will always be here for you. When you feel like there is no one you can call on, that's the time when you should call me. Oh.... and I hope you know that whenever my words were harsh, it was purely out of love and not wanting to see you short yourselves of the things that you deserve. I can only hope that you all are as honest with me, even when its not what I want to hear. Again, I love you, and there will never be a time that Im not here for you, even when what I really wanna do is spin you in bubble wrap and hang you out a window by your ankles LOL.

Thank you for putting up with my shit.

Forever, Dig.

30 Day Letter Writing Challenge

One of my girlfriends is embarking on this journey, and I've decided to go along for the ride. Damn these gas prices! LOL

*******


The point is to write one letter a day for 30 days, each to someone different. while i will include the basics of the "who" i have no plans on naming names (or at least it doesn't seem like it would be a good idea based on some of the assignments. i've posted the schedule below if you plan on doing this with me.

30 Day Letter Challenge.

* Day 1 — Your Best Friend
* Day 2 — Your Crush
* Day 3 — Your parents
* Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
* Day 5 — Your dreams
* Day 6 — A stranger
* Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
* Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
* Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
* Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
* Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
* Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
* Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
* Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
* Day 15 — The person you miss the most
* Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
* Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
* Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
* Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
* Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
* Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
* Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
* Day 23 — The last person you kissed
* Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
* Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
* Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
* Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
* Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
* Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
* Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

Another Move? Really?

So I had a chat with my boss yesterday. Essentially, he asked me to move to DC, on my own dime, with no immediate expectation of contract conversion and no real guarantee of security in the long run.

*staring into the camera*

I’ll have what HE’s having LOL. He trippin.

First of all, I am NOT tryna move without a conversion guarantee (Im on contract, not technically a permanent employee). Second of all, I paid out of pocket for the first move, which, by the way, was only 9 months ago. Now you want me to pay for a second one? Mmmmmm………... no.

I like where Im at and the midgets are just now getting settled in. I don’t wanna move. Next year would be different – my son will be transitioning into high school anyway – but boss man doesn’t wanna wait that long. He doesn’t need me to decide tomorrow, but he definitely doesn’t wanna wait that long. He’s a great boss, I like him a lot and I feel like he really does understand my dilemma, especially after our talk yesterday….. but he wants what he wants, and despite my reluctance, he’s got valid points as to why.

So I told him I would think it over, but right now I am feeling like I wanna stay. That entails finding a new program within this company, or a new gig at another one. Im open to either option, so long as the money stays in the neighborhood its in (it’s a pretty nice area LOL). So I am doing a little research to see what I can find out and then Ima throw it all up in the air for God to catch and run with. He’s brought me this far, He aint gonna leave me now…..

Saturday, May 21, 2011

What, No Rapture?

6:40 pm and all is well. Guess I better make dinner LOL.

I feel sorry for all those people who gave away their life savings and all their worldly possessions, expecting to be taken away today. On second thought..... no I dont LOL.

#Foolishness.

Earning My Stripes

So yesterday, my baby comes home from school all excited. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she told me she was going to see Justin Bieber. Imagine my surprise: "Oh, you are huh?" LOL My son was low-key encouraging me to just tell her she cant go, recalling his days of being nine, coming home with some big plan and me telling him he aint going nowhere with people I aint met. But this was different. This was Justin Bieber. How could I just flat out tell her no, when he's her new age Michael Jackson? I couldn't bring myself to do it, but after hearing the backstory to events that occurred in school, I didnt have to. I already knew she wasnt going anywhere.

"My friend at school has ten tickets to the Justin Bieber concert and she said we could go." Ten tickets? What parent buys ten tickets to a concert? Who spends that kinda bread to take out nine kids they dont even know, and how the hell they all supposed to get there? She changed her clothes, put her little wallet and lip gloss in her pocket and starting calling back and forth with one of her friends, whose mom I had actually met. Seven or eight phone calls later, it was apparent that neither one of them had any clue what was going on and the ticket girl hadn't even called. When my baby finally did talk to her, she was at her grandmother's house a few streets over from us, talking about can my baby walk over there. Hell no LOL. She wanna take you to a concert, she needs to come pick you up. My baby tells the little girl what I said, and the little girls says she was gonna see if someone could come get her.

*staring into the camera*

Yeah, ok. My baby spent the next half hour standing out on the balcony, looking for some random car to pull up and beckon her out. My son keeps shooting sympathetic looks in my direction, understanding the plight of a mom, having to deal with a little girl's heartbreak, and trying hard not to be the source of it. Then it dawned on me: this is Justin Bieber we're talking about. If there is a concert tonight, why havent I heard about it? I was already online, so I went ahead and started searching out this phantom concert and couldnt find anything at all about it. I went to Ticketmaster and every site I could find that boasted JB tour dates, and there was nothing. It was time to start the damage control and hopefully minimize the impact of this hard reality my baby was about to face.

She had told me earlier that the little girl had a ticket in her bookbag and had nine more at home. I called her into my bedroom and asked her if she had actually seen the ticket. She said no. I figured. I asked how she knew there really was a ticket in the bag if she never it. Her response was, "...because she said 'real talk'."

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! COME ON SON!

I told her that I dont think there ever was a ticket in the little girl's bookbag, and that I had looked all over the web for a Bieber concert in the city tonight and there was none to be found. She heard me, but she wasnt ready to let go of the dream. Another fifteen minutes out on the balcony, watching random cars drive past our house. I stepped into the living room and my son's eyes met mine again. He just shook his head. I walked up behind my baby and leaned on the balcony next to her. "I dont think anybody's coming, Mom," she said. "I dont think anybody's coming either, baby."

My phone rang and I went to answer it, garnering parental compassion from my boyfriend on the other end. He listened as I called my son into the room and asked him to go to the store for me and maybe take his little sister with him. He smiled and nodded, "Sure Mom."

A little while later, they returned from the store and my baby kneeled by my bed, resting her head on my thigh. "Im sad, Mom." "I know, baby. I know." I rubbed her head and kissed her on the forehead, then lifted her face. I told her that little kids sometimes tell stories because they want people to like them, and that no matter what everyone else does in school on Monday, and no matter how anyone else treats this little girl, she is not to be mean to her. She said she understood, hugged me, and went into the living room to watch the movie I had just let her buy. My son smiled at me, giving me the feeling that he was impressed - maybe even proud - and then followed her into the other room. Ten minutes later, laughter flooded the house, and just like that, the crisis was over.

Dealing with kids and their feelings is hard. As a parent, you want to shield them from as much heartache and heartbreak as you can, knowing that now and then, one's gonna beat you, and hoping every time that this isnt it. But wise parents also know that some lessons should be allowed to be learned early, and I thought yesterday was one of those times. I could have just told her she couldnt go, and waited for her being mad at me to blow over, but the nature of people and disappointment are things we spend our whole lives dealing with. Better she start learning that now. Besides, why should I be the bad guy? I wasnt the one lied LOL....

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Backtracking....

....for those who didnt know what I was talking about the other day......




http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/43051889

The May 21 Judgment Day meme is the brainchild of an 89-year-old radio evangelist named Harold Camping. Using a mathematical system of his own creation to interpret obscure prophecies in the Bible, Camping originally predicted Sept. 6, 1994 as Judgment Day, or the day of the "Rapture" when Christian believers will ascend to heaven, leaving the rest of humanity to its deservedly dreary fate.

But 1994 came and went relatively uneventfully, and Camping has since reworked his equations in such a way that they now point to a May 21, 2011 Judgment Day. Once the 200 million true Christians (in Camping's estimation) have been whisked away this coming Saturday [at 6pm], he says hell on Earth will ensue and last for 5 months, until Oct. 21, at which point the world will end.

Here's the gist of Camping's calculation: He believes Christ was crucified on April 1, 33 A.D., exactly 722,500 days before May 21, 2011. That number, 722,500, is the square of 5 x 10 x 17. In Camping's numerological system, 5 represents atonement, 10 means completeness, and seventeen means heaven. "Five times 10 times 17 is telling you a story," Camping said on his Oakland-based talk show, Family Radio, last year. "It's the story from the time Christ made payment for your sins until you're completely saved. I tell ya, I just about fell off my chair when I realized that."


***************

*staring into the camera*


Well.........*bites toast*......... here's MY math:


"But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels which are in heaven, neither the Son, but the Father."


*sips coffee*


Any questions?

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Must Be Crazy

I come home tonight from work and my daughter starts telling me all the stuff she has bought in the last two days from her school's book fair. Its a lotta shit. She got the whole Junie B. Jones book series, and that cost $36.95. $36.95????!!! Um.... little girl..... exactly how much did you spend at this book fair? $88.

*choke, cough, cough* WHAT???????????? LOL I swear, I could beat her knee caps off LOL. If it was just books, I MIGHT not be so mad, but she got Justin Beiber posters and all kinda other bullshit too. I could kill her. Take her right on out. But Ima "woosah" and let it go. It was her money, but damn.

And speaking of ending lives, WTF is up with this "the world is ending, beginning at 6pm on May 21" shit? I read a few articles to get the story on what this movement is, and apparently, some old guy is claiming to be able to determine this from "clues" in the Bible. Well here's your first clue, Sherlock: last I checked, the Bible states that no man will know the day or time that Jesus will come back, as he will return "like a thief in the night." So how, pray tell, do you figure that means "no man" except for you?

What I will say is that you, sir, do represent one of the false prophets we were warned to expect, and I read about some kook in Australia who is telling people he is Jesus and his girlfriend is Mary Magdalene, so true enough, the world IS coming to an end some time soon. You nuts represent some of the first signs we've been instructed to watch for. But pardon me if I still set my DVR for Celebrity Apprentice on Sunday. I'd hate to miss a show this late in the game on a humbug...

Monday, May 16, 2011

Arrested



And he's STILL giving me good hair. *SMH* Love me some Rick Springfield, wit his ole drunk self LOL

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Loyalties

So I saw "Something Borrowed" last night. Might have to watch it again because the midgets were being silly through half of it and I had to keep shushing them, but I liked it. It was a little predictable - we all know the story line to these flicks - but I liked the way it brought me the drama it gave me. Reminded me of a time gone by.

In the movie, the main character, Rachel, had a best friend, Darcy, who always got what she wanted, including the man the main character had been in love with for the last six years, Dex. Darcy actually met Dex while he and Rachel were out on a pseudo date, and just kinda weaseled her way into the situation. Rachel, being something of the wallflower type, fell back, and present day, Darcy and Dex are about to get married. Circumstances surrounding a pre-wedding party led to Dex and Rachel sleeping together and feelings being discussed. Apparently, Dex had been in love with her all this time too, and herein lies the rub. Without giving it all away, they decide they need to spend time together to see if they really have something to grow on and get twisted up in the complexities of where their loyalties lie.

There were certain things in the movie - certain emotions that Rachel went through - that reminded me of myself, years and years ago. To know me today, you would never guess, but I began as something of a wallflower myself. Very quiet and laid back, I had a best friend that was quite the opposite of that. The Darcy character reminded me a lot of her. Whenever there was an opportunity of any kind, she would jump at it, even if it were one she knew I had interest in. I'd just kinda slink back and bite my tongue, not wanting it to turn into a "thing." It was never really to the extent of her schwooping in and stealing a man out from under me that I was already somewhat seeing, but she did her share of sabotaging some would-be connections I wanted to make. Some guy would be tryna get a rap and she'd tell me how he liked her, or tried to holla at her, or some other kinda detail to make me not accept his advances. A bit of a hater, I guess, is what I'd call her. It wasnt limited to boys though, there were many things she did that I hated. We'd be in a group of people and she'd say something out loud that shouldnt have been shared, or try to bring unwanted attention to something that involved me, under the guise of just joking, and it was never bad enough to make me stop being friends with her, but I didnt like it, and I'd later find out that other people didnt either.

It was all fine and good until one summer we met this guy that we both liked. We both voiced our interest, to each other, but after it was apparent that his interest was in me, now all of a sudden neither one of us should talk to him. Okay. We are friends, and that is more important than a man, so I can agree to that. Come September, this boy ended up attending her school, and I guess you know that little agreement we made went right out the window. She didnt even come out and tell me at first, she kinda slipped up and mentioned it and then tried to act like we never said he was off limits. "All is fair in love and war." I couldnt believe she actually said that.

I was so mad at her that day, and even though we got into it about it, she did what she always did and downplayed my anger, like she didnt do anything wrong and however I felt, I'd just have to get over it. And you know what, I did. Just like I did every other time. But that was the beginning of the change in our relationship. It was also the beginning of the change in me.

There was a point at the end of the movie where Darcy and Rachel ran into each other on the street and Darcy was "doing Darcy," just bragging about this, that, or the other, and made reference to something that she had been lying about for years. Rachel, by this time, knew it was a lie, but she just gave a little "I feel sorry for you" smile and said "That's great, Darcy. Im happy for you." And I loved that scene because it gave me everything I loved about Rachel. It showed grace on her part, and while she could have blown up Darcy's spot and made her feel like an ass, she didnt. She took the high road. I like to think that's what I've done with my friend as well. We aren't close like we used to be, but we still communicate here and there. The drift was a semi-conscious one, and I never read her the riot act, like I so many times wanted to. In essence, I just walked away. When we talk, she still never asks how Im doing until after she brags and flosses all her new endeavors or possessions or whatever it might be, but I just smile and say "Thats great. Im happy for you." She still introduces me to people as her best friend, and I believe she has convinced herself that we just arent as close because life got in the way. She's never been one to "see herself" even when you hold a mirror to her face. And that's fine. People will be people. I just decided to stop letting other people's refusal to see themselves cause me to pretend that I dont. And you know, I am a much happier person these days.

I speak my mind. I take no shorts. I go after the things I want, and I fight for the things I believe in. I am still and will always be a very loyal friend, but Im not blinded by it. I see when that loyalty is not reciprocated, and I make the necessary adjustments. We all should. Because what I have found is that when you really take a look, we havent been taken advantage of. We have just avoided confrontation, neglected to act, or chosen not to see, and for that, we can blame no one but ourselves.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Quotes I Found

Taking no opinion, I just thought these were interesting...


"What a woman seeks in a man and what a man seeks in a woman is different. Most women seek a man with potential, however most men seek perfection. That's why women are more forgiving when men make mistakes, because they see past the circumstances and look to the future, however when woman make mistakes men have difficulty forgiving them, because they can’t see past the imperfection!"

- .....IDK LOL



"It is men that corrupt women; and all the failings of women should be atoned and improved in men. For it is man who creates for himself the image of woman, and woman forms herself according to this image."


- Nietzsche, 1882

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Women Love It; Men Hate It

Not exactly a repost, but shout out to Shanna Banana for bringing attention to this article, which I found hysterical.....ESPECIALLY because there is an onslaught of "violation" all up and through this building on any given day, and I am pleased to know the side eyes I give in the elevator aren't totally unwarranted LOL.

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http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/beauty/make-up-women-love-but-men-hate-2479792/

Neon lips, blue eyeshadow, shimmering glitter, and golden bronzers: This spring, some of the most dramatic looks we saw on the runways are making their way onto our faces. But not everything we dabble on pleases everyone. We had a hunch that some of our biggest beauty obsessions might be turn-offs for guys...so we went ahead asked. Prepare yourself: brutal honesty ensues.




1. Heavy foundation and powders: "The inch-thick powder is a huge turn-off," says Maxim senior editor Nick Leftley. "No guy wants to kiss a girl on the cheek and then find he¹s wearing foundation himself." A flaking face is one thing, but when your cheek becomes a palette of skin-tone colors, men pay attention...and not the good attention. "I'm always amazed to see women with two-tone faces, two apparently different shades of skin on the face, as if they apply makeup in the dark," says James Oliver Cury, the online editorial director at Maxim. "I'd rather see one greasy face than some sort of melanin imbalance. The nose should match the cheeks."


2. "Bumps": “I never liked, or knew of any other guy who liked, the Gwen Stefani "bumpit" look," says Henry Belanger, an editor at The Good Men Project. "Be wary of anything that makes your head look unnaturally large."

3. Neon lipstick: Most of the fashion world agreed that electric pouts were a beauty "do" this season. Some men, however, beg to differ. "Orange lips are definitely a departure from what we're used to and not necessarily something a lot of guys I know really respond to just quite yet,” say fashion blogger John Januzzi of Lucky and the fashion website, Textbook.

4. Too-thin brows:"My pet peeve is overly plucked eyebrows," says David Swanson, Maxim's Features Editor."I mean, really? It's basically an advertisement that naturally you're hairier than Robin Williams. If it looks natural, we'd never have to wonder."


5. Bold eye-shadow: "I don't understand the revival of bright blue eyeshadow," proposes Maxim's Cury. "Is it retro? Is it purposefully over-the-top? To my eyes, it just looks tacky no matter how you wear it." Lucky's Januzzi isn't as bothered by color as he is by application. "Smoky eyes--when done right are great--very sexy and attractive but when done wrong they look a total mess," he says. "Seek professional guidance before trying at home."

6. Rosy cheeks: “As far as make-up goes, I think rouge is for old ladies,” adds Good Men Project's Belanger. "I think guys generally prefer the kind of make-up you don't notice is there, and since there's a lot that guys don't notice I think women have a lot of leeway."


7. Two-toned lips:Remember Kim Mathers? She was almost as famous for her lip liner issues as she was for being defamed by Eminem. According to our dude survey, the pucker problem was more serious. "When I see thin lines drawn around a pair of lips, I think: Is this part of some gang initiation rite?" says Cury.

8. Glitter:"Women need to be judicious with it," says Cury. "It¹s like any good seasoning. You shouldn't shake it all over. It can overwhelm the main course." That being said, he's not opposed to a heavy sprinkle of cleavage glitter. Figures.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Happy Mother's Day

Mother's day was good.

I got a hand-made menu brought to me with toast, bagel and cereal on it (LOL) for me to choose from, and a cup of coffee that had so much creamer in it, I couldnt even finish it. But it was so sweet. I also got another coffee mug (YES!) that says Happy Mother's Day, with a teddy bear in it. And at the end of the night, my daughter came in and sang me a song that almost made me misty. It was the cutest thing ever. I love my babies.

In between all that, I took them to see their dad, and he had a talk withmy son about his recent academic shenanigans. The gist of it was pretty much "you dont wanna end up in here." We left there and went to dinner at Ruby Tuesday's, and I gotta tell yall, the lobster tail I had there mighta been the best one I ever had LOL. Also, if you get a chance to try the shrimp fondue appetizer with tortilla chips, you will not be sorry.

That was pretty much my day, and now I am preparing to fly to DC in the morning, just for the day. God bless the friendly skies and I hope you all had a wonderful day/Mother's day as well.

I'll holla.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Conspiracy Theory

Can I just say that I am soooooo over this Osama bin Laden thing? Its just as bad as that damn royal wedding mess and whatever the big hubbub was before that. But I am really, really tired of hearing his name already and seeing his face plastered all over the internet and news stands. What ever happened to Charlie Sheen? LOL

I know. It’s a big deal. O-bin was a savage, who orchestrated countless terror attacks on not just America, but other nations around the world as well. I get it…… but damn.

You know what’s really pissing me off about the fact that his face is everywhere? My daughter is being haunted by it. She hugged me good night last night, and on her way back to her room, the news (which I was getting ready to turn from) started talking about him, and she ran out of the living room, almost crying, saying “No! I cant see his face again! I cant see it!”

*confusion*

She’s only seen his face once – when I showed her online, after explaining who he was and what happened on 9/11 – and it was just a regular picture. I mean, dead diabolical terrorist mastermind guy or not, it wasn’t like he was ugly LOL. He wasn’t even scary-looking. O-bin, to me, always looked like Abdul n’em from the corner store LOL. Or that Arab boy up at the basketball court, that was always chillin on a bike way too small for him, doing nothing but hollerin “hey baby” to the fast girls that walked by LOL. I mean, that’s what he looked like to me. But I guess my baby parlayed the background story into a distortion of the image she saw, and now she cant sleep with his face popping up in her head. I sent her to my room, to sleep in my bed, with something on Nick playing, to keep her mind off of it until she finally fell asleep. When I woke her up later, to go back to her bed, she didn’t even remember. Kids.

Speaking of what O-bin always looked like to me……. I got myself a theory. Now it may be valid… it may not be valid…. I don’t care, Im just putting it out there LOL. Yall ready? Ok……. now in the process of all this going on, pics of this guy have been everywhere. I started to notice….. these all the same damn picture LOL. Not all of em are exactly the same, but they all seem like a variation of the same picture – you know, like they were taken on the same day, or around the same period of time. Am I the only one who’s noticed that this dude has not aged a day in ten years? LOL I mean, you a terrorist. You not just a terrorist, you like the fucken atilla of terrorists and everybody’s lookin for you. FOR TEN YEARS. Ten years of running and hiding and tunneling and whatever the hell else you’ve had to do in order to stay under the radar, and you aint got a new wrinkle or gray nowhere? My ass would be stressed the fuck out LOL – losing mad weight, gaining mad weight, balding, bags under my eyes, SOMETHING LOL. You damn sure aint gonna be able to put no picture of me today against one from before these muthafuckas was on to me and not see a stark difference LOL. Im sayin, is it me or what?

So yall, this is what I think – and there’s a couple other things I have run across online that feed my theory: I think bin Laden BEEN dead. I cant say when, where, how, or none of that, but I think this cat been dead for a long time, and now is just the time that the powers that be have chosen to stir the grits, so to speak. Why now? IDK. Cant say what the real reason is, but I do know its comical as hell to me that this big announcement was made in the middle of “The Apprentice” just days after Donald Trump got outta his lane on that birth certificate thing. I also think it rather peculiar that we’d finally get O-bin just in time for the 10th anniversary of 9/11, and I know I don’t need to point out the fact that campaigning is just about underway for the 2012 race. COME ON SON!





Like I said, I cant speculate on any details of his death, but Im feeling like O-bin been dead for a minute, and the government just been using it as a hold card. All this is just a little too convenient for me. But let’s say its not the case, and O-bin really was killed only 5 days ago: BUSH AINT SHIT LOL. I mean, we already know this, but he was in bed with them cats. You mean to tell me this nicca Barack caught and killed this fool inside of two years, and you was talking bout you cant even FIND him for seven, when this shit happened on your watch? Then he turns up right where they said he was gonna be in the first place? LOL I woulda declined to go with Barack back to Ground Zero too, if I gotta look all them people in the face and tell em another boldface lie AND look like a scrub next to this lil skinny nigga while he straight BOSSIN’ LMAOOOOOOOOOO!





Woo, that was a good giggle right there.

I hate politics.

Dang

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/42920393/ns/today-good_news/t/th-birthday-he-married-woman-his-dreams/?gt1=43001




He married the woman of his dreams, on his 100th birthday. Forrest Lunsway recently wed Rose Pollard Lunsway (age 90) after spending nearly 30 years together as an exclusive couple.

*stuck*

I dont even know what to say about that .... except Chrissy, from Love & Hip Hop, would not approve. She told Jim Jones he got TWO YEARS to get right or get left LOL. #ihearthat

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Facebook Follies

Below is a string of Facebook statuses one person made over the course of a couple of hours, very obviously responding to statuses being made on the page of whomever her just-as-tacky adversary was. She called out the full name of the person she was addressing, but I have removed it for the sake of decorum. The nickname of another she mentioned has not been removed, simply because..... well, its stupid LOL.

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"Do not get shit fucked up or let Shotty tell U wrong Fackebook backed up the story it did not tell it ...This is To U [name removed]....You do not have a clue ( It was a Male) who told and I know what he say U should learn not belive shit he tell you....He just looking for someone to take to fall...I do not pay that shit no mind. I just want him to do something anything for his son..."

"Bitch ass punk I do not care leave me be"

"Look here u stupit B*tch my kids did not have nothing to do with this. Shotty asked them to bring the dog here so no they did not know it was your dog. Im not telling yall who told but it is someone that is cool with all of us and [name removed] he been in you mad times Oh the list so long you may never figure it out ...he still your friend ....lololol........"

"Oh that funny message was 4 me I guess I was never on your page old boy told me in my driveway that dog in my house was yours. my kids were in school so no they did not know untill Shotty told. So no ant no 1 on your page I just got people who look up 2 me more than u & told. But best belive if it is a problem or if u got a question get at me I live in the same spot & all my numbers are the same get at me"

**********************************

*SMH*

THIS was her status a few hours before:


"Do not forget the youth meeting at 6 ...."


*staring into the camera*

Monday, May 2, 2011

Careful Now

I didn’t know anyone that died in the World Trade Center tragedy, but just the idea of those towers coming down was enough to make me want to wage a personal war on the bastards responsible for it.

See, my heart has beat in this skyline long before I ever moved back here, and while it wasn’t a human life – to which nothing else can compare – I still felt like something had been taken from me that I would never get back, and it hurt. I have always held a fierce allegiance to NYC, refusing to claim any other region I may have inhabited, no matter how long I inhabited it, and if you know anything at all about me, you know that that will never change. I took it personal, and that was on TOP of the devastation I felt for all the lives lost. So I “get” the sentiment – the sense of closure…. relief…. vengeance…. victory……. now that Osama bin Laden has been killed and buried at sea. I understand the claims of justice being done. I can even relate to the sense of pride re-stitched into the fabric of our country, in the knowledge that our own armed forces brought this menace to his demise. I felt all of these emotions when I finally saw the video this morning of our first black president, proclaiming the death of bin Laden, proudly taking responsibility for the directives that yielded this result, and blessing America, in the memory of September 11, 2001.

My eyes burned a little. They did. I felt some palpitations. I did. But when the video stopped, and I turned to look out my office window, the towers were still gone.

The death toll from 9/11 had not been wiped clean.

And our troops weren’t boarding flights headed home.

But…….. people were dancing and chanting in the streets....

They were gathered outside the White House, and various other places of note, singing patriotic hymns.

They were posting on Facebook, from all over the world, countless variations of three little words: “We got him.”

We got him. Mm.

Well, yes… I guess we did. It’s very easy to slip into a space of this being the end of a painful chapter in our national history, but I caution against getting too comfortable with that position. It’s quite easy to kill a man. How do you kill an idea? To quote the Facebook status of a friend of mine, currently stationed on an army base in Indiana:


“Osama may be dead, but terrorism is far from being crushed. For every Osama there are countless followers waiting to step up and take his place. Don't for one minute think that we are any safer or any less of a target. His death will only help fuel their passion to do harm.”



And later, in his thread:


“It is a HUGE moral victory and for that of the families directly impacted by 911, no doubt. Outside of that it def is a win for our military, but as you well know, it does nothing to stop terrorism in itself. It merely pisses a few more crazies off and gives us more reasons to stay the course.”



*thoughtful silence*


I saw this comment on another thread:


"In 2001 when the towers fell I watched news clips of people in the middle east celebrating. It turned my stomach to think that they could celebrate all those deaths. Last night I watched as people across the USA celebrate Bin Laden's death and thought Dear God we're no better than them. I take great joy in knowing that this man can't hurt anyone again, and I know it had to be done. I say God Bless these men and woman that had to perform such a task, but do we truly need to celebrate the loss of human life."



Dear God, we're no better than them.

My prayers go out to all the families affected by the 9/11 tragedy, as well as those across the sea, who have been victims of Al Qaeda’s treachery. I commend Barack Obama and his administration for making good on a promise made to millions, and being able to achieve what his predecessor could not, as well as the sharp and coordinated efforts of the Seals and other military personnel that executed the given orders to bring bin Laden to…………….… justice? Mm. Well it will be interesting to see how both Obama and his opponents spin this event to their advantage. While they all play “six of one, half a dozen of another,” I challenge all of you to look behind the curtain. Recognize that this is only the beginning for our troops over there. Shit is gonna get a lot worse for them before it gets better. Pray for them. And pray for the rest of us Americans, our administration included, who in our arrogance will rest too heavily on these laurels, when we’ve only “won” a small battle in a war that is still, very much, raging.

That said, I leave you something to ponder……….



"Humans say they seek security and quiet, conditions they call peace. Even as they speak they create the seeds of turmoil and violence."


"Beyond a critical point within a finite space, freedom diminishes as numbers increase. This is true of humans. The human question is what kind of existence is possible for those who so survive."

~ Frank Herbert

Sunday, May 1, 2011

This Boy

Woo, Lord, please give me the strength not to strangle this boy.

I ask my son for his homework, so I could look it over. Lately he hasnt been doing all his work, or handing it in or something, so he's on punishment, and I'm being the warden until he gets his act together. So, I ask for his homework and he brings me one sheet of paper. Six or seven classes he has during the day, and he brings me one sheet of paper. Topping it off, the paper is dated April 12.

*staring into the camera*

Pardon me, but isnt it damn May now? He tells me it is for his term project, which is 25% of his grade. The same project he didnt hand in for another class, which BEEN due. The last marking period just started, so why would he think he could show me a paper for a project due at the end of last marking period, and think I wouldnt know it was some bullshit? I dont know either, but I was so furious at that moment, I decided to just make him take a shower and go to bed, because if I hit him, he'd need a real doctor. Now Im gonna make a visit to his school, because he is trying to play me, and I wanna have all the facts before I kick his ass.

*sigh*

But on a better note, I got the best voicemail ever yesterday. Every time I talk to my sister, she starts talking about wanting a kindle - you know those litle devices you download books to, to read while you are out and about? She wanted it for Christmas from her sons and didnt get it, cause they both broke lol, and she told them to get it for her for her birthday, in July, but I couldnt let that day come around and she still not have it, knowing how bad she wanted it.

So I decided I was going to buy it for her. I got it online on Friday and had it delivered yesterday. I somehow didnt hear my phone when it rang, but the voicemail she left was so excited, Im almost glad I missed the call. She told me she was so happy to get it and that it came at the perfect time, because she was kind of down in the dumps, and it just made her so happy, and she called me "the best little sister she ever had" LOL I was as happy as she was, just hearing the voicemail and the excitement in her voice. I was really glad I was able to do that for her. There is nothing better than getting that reaction from someone after you do something nice for them. Its almost better than being on the receiving end, for me. I feel like I've been blessed beyond comprehension and I love when I have the opportunity to pay it forward.

Its been a restful weekend, despite wanting to wring my son's neck, and now I guess I will watch the new episode of Mob Wives and get ready to make the donuts in the morning. I hope yall had a good weekend. I'll holla.