Wall St, Day One

First day at the new gig and so far, so good.

I didnt realize I never told that many people I got a new job... or that I had even lost the last one.... until I saw the crazy response to my FB thread this morning. I guess I operate as if everybody in the world reads my blog LOL. They should LOL.

There's only one thing I dont like so far.... ok, well.... two...

I'm coming in with two other guys, both of which represent the worst of coworkers I had recently - the one guy who talks too fucken much and decides he's not gonna do what he's been told to do the way he's been told to do it because he doesnt think its better than his way lol..... and the young buck who has had like one job in his life, but has an answer for everything, even though he dont know shit LOL. Luckily, we are only starting together and not working together. We'll all be on different teams and projects. Thank the Lord.

The other thing - their coffee situation SUCKS! They have a Flavia machine, but why I gotta pay 75 cents for a dixie cup of coffee? LOL And why are the sugar packets rock hard, and there's no creamer? Cause nobody drinks this shit, thats why LOL. No wonder I came in here Friday and everybody was toting around their Starbuck's and Dunkins. Shame on them LOL.

The best thing about the office is that at least 20% of my co-workers have accents of some kind. That number is based solely on the number of people I have actually had the chance to speak to or hear speak, so there are a good number of them unaccounted for. The British ones are awesome. I could listen to them all day.

Thus far, I think the tasks are doable. Of course, things always seem easy before you actually have to do them, but I think the hardest part will be getting through to the C-level execs I have to book. You know those admins have on they Wonder Woman bangles, blocking errrthang like PING! PING! LOL But I'm not concerned.

To get to the office, I have to take the PATH to WTC. This morning was the first time I had really been up close and personal with the Freedom Tower, currently in progress. I didnt have time to stop and look around, but I'm pretty sure I walked right past the 9/11 memorial at some point and just didnt know it. On another note, I have to say I have never seen that many damn people in commute. Im talking about droves and droves of people coming up outta there this morning and at least 3x that this evening, with all the tourists. Item 1: find a way to maneuver through that madness with a little more finesse. The commute is short and sweet so I dont wanna mess with the route but that shit drove me crazy.

All in all, not a bad day, except I was starving when I came home. I cant wait to [hopefully] get groceries this weekend cause that little turkey sandwich I took with me for lunch aint do nothing but make me mad. And now at a time when I should be trying to do some more of this prep work I brought home, I have a paper to write. Ah well, Im training all week so I will have a lot of time to do it at the office.

So far so good. I dont think I will blog about the office again until the end of the week unless something noteworthy happens, but I knew if I didnt say something about it today, my phone wouldnt stop ringing and I would never get this paper done. So there you have it. Wall St, day one. Enjoy your night, folks.

Shenanigans!

Ima get to the job stuff in a minute but first, lets talk about this fool I met yesterday LOL

Lord be a fence.....

I told yall I met this guy on the train yesterday. He was texting me the second I left his sight and continued to do so, on and off, for the rest of the day. I thought it was kinda cool, you know? He's really interested.

So he gives me some time to get my homework out the way last night and then he calls. A lot of "getting to know you" stuff, you know the shit you ask when you just meet a person.... but his relationship questions are like.... hardbody LOL. Like.... he's serious LOL. He's like be there for him, give him what he needs and he'll take care of everything. Cool, I can dig that. I came out of that conversation with the understanding that he wants us to focus exclusively on us. Aight, I can dig that too. Less drama that way anyway LOL.... (I hate myself right now, that is soooooo not the point LOL).

Anyway, we agree to see each other tonight. We're texting today and Im like "so whats the plan?" (He's confused) "The plan. You know, what are we doing, where are we going.... the plan." (He's still confused. He thought he told me last night) "Ok then refresh me because Im pretty sure we didnt cover that." This fool gon say to me that I need to do whatever he needs me to do LOL.

*record scratch*

Im sorry, what? LOL

Now the texts are slowing down by this point because now I have to pause in between responses to react to the bullshit he's saying to me. You know these infamous facial expressions of mine sometimes take a second to match up with the thoughts in my head at this level of fuckery LOL.

I just met this guy, but he's cool. Likeable. Maybe we're just having some kind of miscommunication, so I say just that: "I think maybe there's been some kind of miscommunication. I dont think we're on the same page." Clearly he thought I was UNCLEAR and asking for clarification, which came in the form of "I need all that good loven. And you dont have to pay no bills."

I swear on everything. Im looking at the text right now, those were his exact words LMAO! Fuck is wrong with this ni..... *sighhhhhhhhhh*

I "What? LOL" because clearly he couldnt be serious. Ohhhhhhhh but he was LOL. He had the nerve to repeat what he said and then follow it up with "I need you to send me a list of everything." Oh nigga, now Im a whore with homework? Where they do that at? LMAO!

I couldnt muster enough of anything inside me to actually become angry. In fact, I found it quite amusing how wrong the tree was he was barking up, so much so that I actually was nice in my replies. I mighta been too nice - I dont think he realized I was saying "you know you just fucked up right?" LOL But here's the kicker... Im checking for confirmation every time he says something to make sure Im clear on the fact that he's asking me to be his personal prostitute and he confirms each step of the way and did not see why Houston was having a problem. I said "Sweetie, if youre looking for somebody who would be good with that arrangement, Im sorry to tell you you stopped the wrong woman on that train." This nigga goes "See, I knew you was going to take it the wrong way."

*staring into the camera*

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! This cant be life. Where are the cameras? I cant take it anymore.

For real though? #Comeonson!

I had to end the conversation. It was starting to make me stupid. I felt brain cells dying LOL.

The crazy part now is thinking back to our conversation last night and applying this new information to the ideas I thought meant something else. He was having a completely different conversation than I was LOL.

He called while I was in the other room, so I missed it, and Im glad. Now is not the time to talk to him, if I ever do again. I dont know, maybe he's actually had "relationships" like that. Do people do that, like in real life? LOL I guess they do, my girl said they do. *shrugs* In retrospect, a lotta bitches is fuckin for free so...... a little change in perspective and...... fuck that shit, this nigga crazy LOL.

I got bout 20 more minutes of laughing on the inside, but before I continue to do so............. the job I mentioned a buncha blogs back is the one I was offered today. Notwithstanding the fact that in 6 months I could be singing a whole new tune (lol), right now, it sounds perfect. The earning potential is BANANAS! So my intent is to hit the ground running so I can start peeling that shit ASAP. I always wanted to work on Wall St. Now I can actually cross that off my list. Wow. And a week ago I didnt even have a job. I guess God decided I needed a week off to get my mind right.

But now Im curious why I really got off that train yesterday..... LOL

*shrugs*

Ah well.

Lighters in the air.....

Guess who's workin on Wall Street.

Yup.

Thats all me.

I'll be back. I got babies to kiss LOL.

Shit!

I almost shit on myself today and I dont fucken appreciate it LOL.

Well I didnt appreciate it.... until I realized it was the only way to create a big enough sense of urgency to get me off the train at the stop I needed to get off at to cross paths with somebody the universe apparently wanted me to meet. For what? I dont know. But as my girl said to me when I told her the story, good, bad, it doesnt matter. Everyone comes into your life for a reason. Temporary, permanent, to teach you a life lesson, or one about yourself.... its all necessary.

If I wasnt bout to shit on myself, I woulda rode the train all the way home the first time. I wouldnt have gotten off 5 stops early, gone into the Japanese bar and grill I used the bathroom and paid $2.70 for a fucken ginger ale in (*RME*), and I wouldnt have been back in the station at the same time he was, preparing to board the same train.

Now dude might not have been the reason I was made to get off that train, but he's the only thing in the events that followed that makes sense. I guess time will tell.

Time be tellin, dont it? LOL

I mean you never really think about a person's purpose in your life until they're no longer in it, for whatever reason. Your decision, their decision, its not until they're gone that you think about it. For those people who you cant seem to find a purpose for knowing, the purpose is most likely yours and not theirs. I mean when someone comes into your life, you also come into theirs, so it could be you having the impact on them, rather than the other way around.

Anyway, just another little lesson in perspective. If Dig found a way to not be mad she was almost a walking shit stain, then you can find a way to not be mad about your bullshit too LOL.

I's Free!

So I lost my job yesterday, and you know what? I'm fine.

Yeah, I have some things to figure out - the bills wont stop coming and I have kids to feed - but yesterday was the first time in a long time that I felt like I could breathe. It has been so stressful this last month, just being in that office, I felt like I was physically sick a lotta days. I had a panic attack earlier this week, my back has been bothering me for at least two and the headaches have been unstoppable. But yesterday, I felt like a load had been lifted and I was almost grateful it was over.

The shitty part about the timing of it all is that commission payouts are disbursed next pay period, and because I am officially no longer employed there as of today, I wont get mine. Fucked up right? That was the thing that pissed me off. But the second I left there, things started to happen.

On my way home, I went to see one of my clients that I had developed a good relationship with and he made a call to the president of another company to get me an interview for Monday. After I got home, I was contacted by two other places about interviews, and I am typing this blog on a brand new laptop someone bought for me, just because they didnt want me to be without one (thank you). I have been in this place before so I know some days are better than others, but blessings are pouring all around me. How could I not be okay? But if you do wanna help, donations can be made to...... LOL

Anyway, just updating my status. My house needs some attention and before I give it, I need some coffee.... so I am off to the kitchen. Make it a great day folks. I sure plan to.

Men are interesting

"I know you lost your virginity a long time ago, I just want the box it came in."

"Yeah, I'm married, but that dont mean I cant still treat you like a queen. I want to set the bar high enough so that the next man to reach it actually deserves the chance to give you what I cant."

"I will fly you down here, taste you, and send you home wondering what the dick is like. But dont worry, I'll text you a picture of it when you get home."

#dead

I need to cancel my internet service LOL.

Friends? For what?

He replied…. Complete with friend request.

Let’s evaluate….. *rescanning message*

He thanked me for the heads up, with a smiley face…. *staring into the camera*….. then said he never got any of my messages…..

….Messages that were still in the thread of the message we’re now both looking at.

Messages I had to re-read to even know what the hell he was talking about.

Messages…………… from November.

Nigga, its almost November again LOL.

My response: “You never got any of my messages….. yet you got this one.”

*ignore request*

And I’m fine, thanks for asking. Asshole.

This Feels Like......

.....the longest blog ever LOL

Every now and then something happens that shows me how much I’ve grown as a person. Not necessarily in terms of maturity, but controlling my impulses….. well, I guess that is maturity, huh? *shrugs*

Well anyway, I think I’ve blogged before about being impulsive. I’ve made some pretty big strides in the last ten years, getting a handle on that – mostly as it pertains to my finances. I stop and think – more often than not – before I spend a chunk of money on something I likely don’t really need and 9 times out of 10, I talk myself down from the ledge. Travel’s always sort of been my Achilles heel though. I cant even tell you how many trips I’ve taken that I couldn’t afford in the last year alone, but I have even been working on that. I just recently cancelled some travel plans (the second in a couple months time) trying to be more cognizant of my priorities. So that’s real progress to me LOL.

Impulsiveness will fuck up the church’s money big time, but it can also make you do shit you need to not damn do…. like call a person you haven’t spoken to in a long time when they happen to cross your mind. What doesn’t cross your mind is why it is that you haven’t spoken to their asses in so long LOL. So you pick up the phone, you tell em they crossed your mind so you figured you’d call and see how they were doing. They tell you how sweet that is and you proceed to have an hour long conversation, at the end of which, you’re either feeling kinda awesome or you’ve been reminded why you stopped fuckin with this loser and you’re mad you even called LOL. If you feel kinda awesome, it sucks to be you, because that phone call will likely lead to another and before you know it, this person is once again a regular at the bar of your life. It can last a week, it can last a year, but at the end of whatever span of time it turns out to be, I promise, you will be reminded why you stopped fuckin with this simple bitch in the first place LOL.

This shouldn’t be the only way this scenario can go, but dammit, it is LOL. I know – I am the poster girl for this shit LOL. I can name 2 people right now that's part of my life today ONLY because I made a damn phone call LOL. Couldnt just let sleeping dogs lie, had to call and check on somebody and see how they been. Who gives a fuck, Dig? Are they wondering how you doing? Are they checking on you? No. So knock it off! LOL

But I couldnt help it. Im kinda sentimental so I use to do that shit a LOT – place that random call or shoot that random email and get myself sucked back into some bullshit it was probably hard enough to get out of the first time and then have to try to get back out of it all over again. Emotional attachment is a bitch. Its like being a recovering addict. Once you get it out of your system, you got to keep it out, or it’ll catch you in a moment of weakness and pull you right back in. That’s been the story of my life, so it was a pretty big deal today when I DIDN’T make that call.

It actually started with a spam email I got from somebody I don’t fuck with no more (as in we aint friends, not like…… well you know what Im sayin LOL). We don’t talk, chat, email, acknowledge…. I deleted him off my FB, all that shit. Anyway, I got a spam email and it made me laugh cause I was just looking at a list of the top email scams going around and this shit was like #3 LOL: your friend emails you saying they are stranded somewhere and they need to borrow some money that they promise to pay back soon as they come back. First of all, I PROMISE you this dude couldn’t find Cyprus on a map. He damn sure aint going there. Second of all, if he had gone to Cyprus and needed the $2,000 the email requested, he damn sure wouldn’t be asking ME for it.

Now I have gotten spam email from his account a couple times before but it was just a link. Normally I’d hit a person up (that I was still speaking to LOL) and tell em so they can change their passwords, but I was like fuck that nigga LMAO! But today I decided to go ahead and give him a heads up cause it was an actual solicitation and while I hope grown people would be smart enough to see that shit is fake, you never know how people might react if they thought it were real. You know them hackers send that shit to your WHOLE address book. So since I don’t have his number anymore, I had to search him on FB and send him a message. No response as of yet, and frankly, Im not looking for one. I'd be surprised if he responded, actually, but like I said, fuck that nigga LOL. He aint what this was about. He’s just the person that made me think of the person this was about LOL

For some reason, whenever my mind goes to this one person, it also goes to this other one. IDK if its because of how difficult a decision it was for me to actively remove these people from my life or if its because they were in it kind of around the same period and did the same dumb ass typa shit LOL but either way, if I happen to think of the first one, I’ll end up thinking about the second. It doesn’t work the other way around though. If I think of the second one first, the first one gets no air time LOL. There are reasons for that, which are completely irrelevant, but Im just trying to be clear LOL.

Anyway, when people do shit that gets em kicked out your life (and they dont necessarily wanna go) only one of two things is gonna happen when you call. They will either apologize for what they did just to eventually do it again, or worse, they will play dumb about it, or downplay the violation like you’re making a big deal over nothing, which will only piss you off all over again, and make you even madder at the fact that this muthafucka can still get under your damn skin LOL. You’re not over it. You only think you are because you banished “it” from the kingdom and didn’t have to deal with it no more. I finally know this LOL. I finally learned that lesson. 3 different times I made that call or sent that email and he ended up back on the same shit every single time. When you know someone will never change, YOU have to. So I am happy to say that today, ladies and gentlemen, I held my mule. I did not make that call. Let’s hear it for baby steps! *audience roar*

But baby steps they are. The truth of the matter is, I miss him. More accurately, I miss some of the conversations we use to have – we bonded in our disdain for stupid people LOL. He was always so interested in my love life (mainly so he could figure out the best way to fuck it up LOL) and I always had a story to tell so it worked LOL. But he lied to me. A lot. I got tired of being the only friend in the friendship, so he had to go. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do (clearly I still struggle from time to time), but although I sometimes miss him, I honestly am glad he’s no longer a part of my life. It was a huge step in the direction of making better decisions and I’ve been taking step after step ever since.

The hard part is making sure none of them are backward.

Zombies

Now this might be a little dicey. It’s connected somehow that I haven’t quite figured out yet, but bear with me and hopefully I can tie it together by the time I get to the end LOL.

Y’all remember that movie called The Net, with Sandra Bullock? She played some kinda computer wiz named Angela Bennett, who worked from home and pretty much hated to leave her house. That is, until she goes on this week-long vacation to Cozumel, where she is robbed of all her identification and this guy tries to kill her for what he thinks she knows about this software program. She’s only allowed back into the U.S. after she goes along with everyone’s assertions that she is this other woman, Ruth Marx, and upon her return, finds out that everything in her old life has been erased and everyone believes that she really is this other woman. Throughout the course of the movie, people are constantly looking shit up in their computer databases and online, and of course, because the bad guys own the software, the internet and everything on it, they are able to make everything say whatever they want it to. Because Angela was basically a recluse, she had nobody to vouch for her, with the exception of the one guy, who obviously had to die LOL. In the end, her genius trumped their genius so she got her life back and all was well that ended well.

I had seen the movie before, but on July 7, 2012, after having so many shitty “information” experiences, having had my identity stolen, my bank account compromised……. That shit really hit home. I seriously am thinking about divesting from the internet LOL. I aint talking about disappearing from it, just not allowing it to host my existence. I’m old school and paper has always given me comfort, so I tend to keep hardcopy records of important things, but what about the sentimental stuff? Like pictures. Nobody makes prints anymore. I mean how many of us, right now, if Facebook went down for good would be lost? You have 1,017 pictures on your profile and Facebook is the ONLY place you have them, because you deleted files somewhere else to make space for other shit and figured its all good, they’re on my Facebook. (I mean seriously, do people even invest in memory cards anymore?)

Which brings me to my next point…

Have y’all seen this?

Disclaimer: I am not an expert in American history, and things sometimes get by me, so by no means do I claim to know this for a fact but………………WTFITBS??? LOL

Being that Im NOT an expert in American history, when I saw this floating around Facebook, my initial thought was Wow. That’s crazy. I said if I didn’t know this, a lot of other people probably didn’t either. Let me repost it. Educate the people LOL. But then I thought better of it. The more I looked at the so-called “original” offering and the statement made about it, it just didn’t make any sense to me. Now while I did hear tale that the MODEL for the statue of liberty was a black woman, as far as I am aware, the statue of liberty was never about no freeing of the slaves – it was about the welcoming of immigrants, hence the inscription (“Give us your tired, your weak…” blah, blah, blah). And not for nothing, (I’m also not an expert in Photoshop or digital imagery) but that looks like an actual PICTURE of a black woman, ashed to look like a statue, that somebody superimposed onto the picture. Now I assert AGAIN, I don’t know for a fact that this isn’t true, however, I spent a good amount of time looking for evidence and could find nothing supporting this claim, so I have decided FOR MYSELF (LOL) that this is some bullshit somebody with an axe to grind and too much time on their hands concocted to stir up some shit. If anyone has any information to the contrary, send it my way (doctordig9@gmail.com) and I will gladly recant.

But that wasn’t really where I was going.

I’m not gonna post it because I don’t want to perpetuate it any further but… Someone on my friends list reposted a screenshot image of some girl’s stats that explicitly detail how she went out the night before, went home with some random guy and raw-dawged it (that means had unprotected sex, for those of you who didn’t own shell toes before 2005 LOL), followed by a second stat that (in my own words) says “Yes, I’m HIV positive, but oh the fuck well, his fault. Now off to find me another dumb ass.”

*sigh*

Now like many, my initial reaction was WTF? But it was a Facebook profile, pic and all, so I said let me look her up. I enter her name and instead of an actual profile (which I probably coulda found, if it still exists, had I continued to dig), I found a private group, created in support of her. According to the statement on the group wall, this girl has been the target of somebody’s malicious smear campaign, and that the over 1,000 members of that group are fighting for her truth. Though the individual allegedly responsible was not named, the statement said the girl was NOT HIV positive and that at least one other person had been targeted previously, in the same manner, less successfully.

Now I don’t know this chick, but my point is, dude don’t either (which he, himself, stated in the thread). What would make a grown ass man repost some shit like this without knowing it to be fact? I mean, were it true, it might be one’s duty to put people on notice that bullshit like this is going on (we know it happens) and if there were no real person associated with the accusation, it could be done as sort of a PSA. Clearly we don’t live in a day and age where fucking on the first night is recommended, and doing so without the proper protection is just foolish. But you got this girl’s picture and name alongside this mess and you don’t even know this girl. Why would you help somebody spread what could be just a vicious lie, ruining this chick’s life? The person who started the [alleged] rumor is a douche, but you are no better for reposting the shit. It only took me bout two clicks to find that group, so its evident that you didn’t even look. People on the page “don’t she know she can go to jail for that?” and “that’s just nasty” calling the girl all out her name. Really? All y’all drinking the kool-aid.

And it got me to thinking about the movie again (aha! There’s the correlation!)

Facebook and computers in general rule the world. If you look something up in a database, you automatically believe what you find, even if an actual person is standing in your face, telling you its wrong. Granted, the scope of most jobs require you to do so. If you see something on Facebook, you automatically believe it has to be true and so many people are quick to repost something without doing the proper due diligence. Most stuff is just….stuff. But when you are reposting some derogatory shit about an actual person without checking any facts, that is just plain irresponsible. Facebook has turned us into fucken droids. Zombies. Fucken Stepford wives. People are just in autopilot, not even thinking about what they are saying and doing. I tell you, I was so disgusted with that shit today, thinking how much fucken mind control Facebook has over folks, I almost straight shut my account down. But then I realized there was a need for sound-minded people like me to balance out the fuckery and be the voices of reason for those who have been compromised.

I feel like I am in the Matrix.

#bluepill

Quick Vent

So I know this dude.

He's always got his hands in something - promoting this thing or that thing, championing this cause or that cause. His father is a minister (I think) and he's found God somewhere along his journey also, so he's on this preach-the-word thing all the time on FB. It's annoying, because his grammar and spelling sometimes make me twitch, but fine. I get where you're going, I'm all about uplifting the people.

So I get wind of this play he's not only promoting, but apparently wrote or something. Actually, it seems as if he's pretty much behind the whole production. I dig shit like that and I'm always excited when people take on these big ventures themselves, instead of jumping onto some already existing platform, so I hit him up.

Now mind you, me and this cat aint close. I wouldnt even call him my friend. He is just somebody I have known for a long time, which really isnt saying much, because everybody kinda knows him. He's so fucken extra that you really can't NOT know him.

Anyway, I hit him up and say congratulations on the play, I just caught wind of it. I dont live there anymore but I'd like to support however I can. What's it about? Is there a website? Any plans on taking it on the road, or will I have to come up there to see it? You know, just trying to get all the details. This dude is like "Its on my morning post, as well as many others." Nigga? LOL Wait, if I followed your posts, I might not be asking you these questions because I probably would have already seen all that, but clearly, this is all new to me. Second, I am coming to you in support, asking how I can help, and you throwing shade?

See this is why people cant get out them hick ass towns. You are a promoter. Promote. If somebody asks you about your production, just run it down. Dont be redirecting the traffic, giving them homework and shit. And then gonna say tag your shit and put it on my wall. Nigga, you just gave me attitude LOL

I did share the flyer on my wall anyway, but Im just saying. People so funny acting! LOL