Lou Myers, best known for playing the role of popular Hillman College campus grease house cook, Mr. Gaines, from A Different World has died at the age of 77.
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
RIP "Mr Gaines"
Lou Myers, best known for playing the role of popular Hillman College campus grease house cook, Mr. Gaines, from A Different World has died at the age of 77.
Monday, February 18, 2013
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
So..............
................ I just got a $5k raise.
*staring into the camera*
Look is this a cult or not? LOL Are they tryna buy by submission or something? Im SO confused.
I aint mad though, LOL.
*staring into the camera*
Look is this a cult or not? LOL Are they tryna buy by submission or something? Im SO confused.
I aint mad though, LOL.
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Friday, February 8, 2013
Country Clever
Random thought....
So many entertainers are such tortured souls - musicians specifically. R&B singers, rappers, rockers.... they're all plagued with addiction and all kinds of really public.... mess. How come you never hear any of that about country singers? Okay, Leann Rimes was a bit of an anomaly, but by and large, they are never in the news with these types of shenanigans, they dont generally kill themselves or overdose or .... nothing.
Why is that?
People who dont like country music give it a hard way to go. Yes, the music can be dark - it's riddled with infidelity, alcoholism, lost faith, abusive relationships, love gone bad and death - but isnt that life? Is music not supposed to be therapeutic? Is there anything to the idea that these artists arent strangled by their demons because they free themselves from them in their songs?
Just something I was thinking about.
Maybe I should put this glass down.
Carry on.
So many entertainers are such tortured souls - musicians specifically. R&B singers, rappers, rockers.... they're all plagued with addiction and all kinds of really public.... mess. How come you never hear any of that about country singers? Okay, Leann Rimes was a bit of an anomaly, but by and large, they are never in the news with these types of shenanigans, they dont generally kill themselves or overdose or .... nothing.
Why is that?
People who dont like country music give it a hard way to go. Yes, the music can be dark - it's riddled with infidelity, alcoholism, lost faith, abusive relationships, love gone bad and death - but isnt that life? Is music not supposed to be therapeutic? Is there anything to the idea that these artists arent strangled by their demons because they free themselves from them in their songs?
Just something I was thinking about.
Maybe I should put this glass down.
Carry on.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Living life
You are my soul mate.
In the back of my mind I am waiting for you to wake up one day and say "This is not my life. This is some bullshit. It took a while for me to gain the courage, but I have it now and I choose you."
Meanwhile, in the front of my mind, life will go on without you and I will be spend several nights stumbling in drunk, with my panties in my purse because some other man didnt find that decision a hard one to make.
#IJS
In the back of my mind I am waiting for you to wake up one day and say "This is not my life. This is some bullshit. It took a while for me to gain the courage, but I have it now and I choose you."
Meanwhile, in the front of my mind, life will go on without you and I will be spend several nights stumbling in drunk, with my panties in my purse because some other man didnt find that decision a hard one to make.
#IJS
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
More weirdness
Ever since I had that dream about my job, people have been dropping like flies around here. With the two guys that quit this afternoon, there have been a total of 6 people who have left in the last 3 weeks. I dont know what's going on around here but I dont know if I really want to either. All I know is I feel like that random animal in some African feature looking confused and bewildered while all the fucken birds in the land get the hell outta dodge.
Curioser and curioser...
Curioser and curioser...
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Buyer's remorse
So.............. I sent them back.
I didnt return them because they cost $1,080 and I could have used that money in a more productive fashion. Sure I got bills I could take to a zero balance (which Im now going to do) but I sent them back because over the last couple of days I got text messages, emails and phone calls making such a big deal over them that it made me ponder why I even bought them. Truth be told, I never pined over a pair of Louboutins. Yes, I've seen several pair that made me be like "Ooooh!" but I've seen shoes that were priced at $39.99 that made me feel the same way. When I thought about it, I realized that I was just trying to throw a middle finger up to the bitches at work who do reckless shit like spend $1,080 on a pair of shoes and giggle about the credit card bill when their mommies and daddies ask them what the FUCK they were thinking. I paid CASH for them shits... in my mind. Shit. Came outta my bank account. I felt some kind of way hearing those conversations a few weeks ago and it made me feel like I had something to prove. It was irrational and immature - something rampant at my workplace - and at the end of the day, it wasnt even something I really wanted. I mean I have seen several brands of the same fucken shoe for peanuts. Granted, I dont really do "peanuts" and shoes in the same sentence, but you know what Im saying.
I still fully support spending whatever it costs for that thing tugging at your soul, but these werent that thing. The chicks at work were about these. My friends were about these. My enemies were about these. My MAMA was about these. I wasnt. Would I do it again? Yeah.... if THAT particular shoe moved me just that much, because I deserve to have whatever it is that I want and work hard enough to get. But the next time I drop a G on some shoes, its gonna be because its what I want to do. So while $1,080 will be on record as the most I've ever spent on a pair, for now, $385 will be the most I've ever spent on a pair I've kept. Yeah. I will SPEND on some Italian leather. Please dont get it twisted. But buyer's remorse comes in many flavors and I cant feel good in a pair of kicks that double underline superficial bullshit every time I step out in them. Maybe I am making too much of it, but I know it didnt feel right. And so.... they've gone back. And I feel good about it. I know me though. I will cop another pair... but when I'm in a place where that middle finger isnt cut off to spite my hand...
Check me round June.
I didnt return them because they cost $1,080 and I could have used that money in a more productive fashion. Sure I got bills I could take to a zero balance (which Im now going to do) but I sent them back because over the last couple of days I got text messages, emails and phone calls making such a big deal over them that it made me ponder why I even bought them. Truth be told, I never pined over a pair of Louboutins. Yes, I've seen several pair that made me be like "Ooooh!" but I've seen shoes that were priced at $39.99 that made me feel the same way. When I thought about it, I realized that I was just trying to throw a middle finger up to the bitches at work who do reckless shit like spend $1,080 on a pair of shoes and giggle about the credit card bill when their mommies and daddies ask them what the FUCK they were thinking. I paid CASH for them shits... in my mind. Shit. Came outta my bank account. I felt some kind of way hearing those conversations a few weeks ago and it made me feel like I had something to prove. It was irrational and immature - something rampant at my workplace - and at the end of the day, it wasnt even something I really wanted. I mean I have seen several brands of the same fucken shoe for peanuts. Granted, I dont really do "peanuts" and shoes in the same sentence, but you know what Im saying.
I still fully support spending whatever it costs for that thing tugging at your soul, but these werent that thing. The chicks at work were about these. My friends were about these. My enemies were about these. My MAMA was about these. I wasnt. Would I do it again? Yeah.... if THAT particular shoe moved me just that much, because I deserve to have whatever it is that I want and work hard enough to get. But the next time I drop a G on some shoes, its gonna be because its what I want to do. So while $1,080 will be on record as the most I've ever spent on a pair, for now, $385 will be the most I've ever spent on a pair I've kept. Yeah. I will SPEND on some Italian leather. Please dont get it twisted. But buyer's remorse comes in many flavors and I cant feel good in a pair of kicks that double underline superficial bullshit every time I step out in them. Maybe I am making too much of it, but I know it didnt feel right. And so.... they've gone back. And I feel good about it. I know me though. I will cop another pair... but when I'm in a place where that middle finger isnt cut off to spite my hand...
Check me round June.
"Knick" knacks
** late-posted this morning due to technical difficulties **
Cold as shit outside but me and the midgets had a great time at the Knicks game. The game itself was shit but baby girl was excited to see Carmelo Anthony. Apparently she knew he played for the Knicks but didnt think he would be there.
*staring into the camera*
My son spent the whole time trying to find famous people and he had me straining my damn eyes trying to help him. Im sure there were tons of famous people in there who we just didnt know, but by the end of the night we had Michael J Fox, Mayor Bloomberg, Robert Dinero, Steve Schirripa (Bobby Baccalieri on the Sopranos), Malcolm Jamal Warner, Jaleel White, Grandmaster Dee (the green-eyed DJ from Whodini who, incidently, almost knocked me over when we first got there. I admit, I was a little stuck when I realized it was him so I managed a little smile, but I still rolled my eyes LOL).
Then halfway through the night, I realized that the somewhat loud and comical guy 2 rows in front of us looked very familiar, but I couldnt put my finger on it. The couple sitting next to us was trying to figure it out too, but they thought he might be a comedian. Nah. Not a comedian. I THINK he's.... MILK! OMG!
I had my son googling Audio Two for 10 minutes, trying to find pictures that were good enough to compare and then finally I decided to just ask the woman in front of me since she had been talking to him all night. I said, "Excuse me, I'm sorry to bother you, but do you know that man?" She said yes. "We've all been racking our brains, trying to figure out why he looks so familiar. Can you tell me his name?" She said very matter-of-factly, "Milk D!"
I KNEW it! Oh yes, I was very proud of myself LOL. I dont do the groupie thing - in fact, it annoys me very much - but something about being in the presence of hip hop history does something to you... well, to me. I felt ... kinda awesome. And inspired. If it wasnt so late, I'd probably be youtubing the entire friggin 80s right now LOL.
I decided to let him enjoy the game and waited until it was over to ask if I could take a picture with him. He said, "Sure." So I climbed over the seats, dress and all (thank God for leggings) and took this picture. He was very sweet, said it was nice to meet me and gave me a hug. When we were leaving, he asked "Brooklyn?" I said "The Bronx." He said, "Even better!" Guess he was happy somebody outside Crown Heights was showing love. I see where he was going with that.... but only place WE were going was to the train and I couldnt wait to get on it cause I went there straight from work and was freezing and exhausted. Ended up taking a cab from the Jersey-side terminal because the buses run super slow after a certain time of night and it was too cold to be waiting around. Plus the kids have school tomorrow, I have work and we still had some things to do at home before we could crash.
All in all, still worth the long day, although next time, we'll try to go to a weekend afternoon game. I still and always will hate the Knicks but its clearly an awesome opportunity to people watch, so yeah, we'll hit a few more before the season's done. Yall should come! LOL
Cold as shit outside but me and the midgets had a great time at the Knicks game. The game itself was shit but baby girl was excited to see Carmelo Anthony. Apparently she knew he played for the Knicks but didnt think he would be there.
*staring into the camera*
My son spent the whole time trying to find famous people and he had me straining my damn eyes trying to help him. Im sure there were tons of famous people in there who we just didnt know, but by the end of the night we had Michael J Fox, Mayor Bloomberg, Robert Dinero, Steve Schirripa (Bobby Baccalieri on the Sopranos), Malcolm Jamal Warner, Jaleel White, Grandmaster Dee (the green-eyed DJ from Whodini who, incidently, almost knocked me over when we first got there. I admit, I was a little stuck when I realized it was him so I managed a little smile, but I still rolled my eyes LOL).
Then halfway through the night, I realized that the somewhat loud and comical guy 2 rows in front of us looked very familiar, but I couldnt put my finger on it. The couple sitting next to us was trying to figure it out too, but they thought he might be a comedian. Nah. Not a comedian. I THINK he's.... MILK! OMG!
I had my son googling Audio Two for 10 minutes, trying to find pictures that were good enough to compare and then finally I decided to just ask the woman in front of me since she had been talking to him all night. I said, "Excuse me, I'm sorry to bother you, but do you know that man?" She said yes. "We've all been racking our brains, trying to figure out why he looks so familiar. Can you tell me his name?" She said very matter-of-factly, "Milk D!"
I KNEW it! Oh yes, I was very proud of myself LOL. I dont do the groupie thing - in fact, it annoys me very much - but something about being in the presence of hip hop history does something to you... well, to me. I felt ... kinda awesome. And inspired. If it wasnt so late, I'd probably be youtubing the entire friggin 80s right now LOL.
I decided to let him enjoy the game and waited until it was over to ask if I could take a picture with him. He said, "Sure." So I climbed over the seats, dress and all (thank God for leggings) and took this picture. He was very sweet, said it was nice to meet me and gave me a hug. When we were leaving, he asked "Brooklyn?" I said "The Bronx." He said, "Even better!" Guess he was happy somebody outside Crown Heights was showing love. I see where he was going with that.... but only place WE were going was to the train and I couldnt wait to get on it cause I went there straight from work and was freezing and exhausted. Ended up taking a cab from the Jersey-side terminal because the buses run super slow after a certain time of night and it was too cold to be waiting around. Plus the kids have school tomorrow, I have work and we still had some things to do at home before we could crash.
All in all, still worth the long day, although next time, we'll try to go to a weekend afternoon game. I still and always will hate the Knicks but its clearly an awesome opportunity to people watch, so yeah, we'll hit a few more before the season's done. Yall should come! LOL
Sunday, February 3, 2013
2/3/13
Just what I needed in my life - a billion Beyonces....smh. Whatever. I aint gonna hate. She put on a really good show. I think she coulda gave Michelle and Kelly like 15 more seconds, if she was gonna bring them on at all, but again, I digress. By the way, I think its fair to say real men prefer Kelly. Just an observation LOL. But good job, Bey. You used up all the damn power and left the second half of the game running on a backup generator, but still. Good job LOL.
I didnt really come in here to talk about that though.
My mama has been through some traumatic things in her life and her response to those experiences is to overcompensate. She tries to ensure that her family does not have to go through the things she did, even if her methods or motivation might not be right. She is always trying to help even when it means not realizing a person does not want her help. One of my sisters.... without knowing all the details, I can say that she has had experiences closest to those of my mother's, but her response has been the complete opposite. She detaches from situations. Today they found themselves in the same place, reacting differently, and such is my life, I got a phone call.
Listen.... dont believe the bullshit you hear about this person in this situation growing up to be like "this". The truth of the matter is that everybody is different and will respond differently to specific stimuli. My sisters and I grew up in the very same household, with the very same mother and ended up living three completely different lives. We were subjected to the same rules, the same upbringing, but we viewed, handled and approached life.... adversity.... differently. At the risk of sounding..... IDK, arrogant (?)... I dont think anybody would argue if I said I turned out the best of the bunch. That being said, being the youngest, I also had the luxury of observation - seeing where they went wrong and learning what not to do. Somewhere along the line I also tapped into those social sciences that taught me how to deal with people and to SEE myself for who and what I was, and accept myself in all my imperfection. With that comes acceptance of everybody else in their imperfection. Its allowed me to live harmoniously with most. Unfortunately, not everybody has developed the ability to do that. Not everybody even wants to.
Thats the conversation I had with my mother today. When its all said and done, you cant make somebody react to something the way you would because they are not you. And you cant make everything they do (or dont do) be ABOUT you. Sometimes the way a person handles a situation is the only way they know how to be okay and if its what they need to do to be okay, then you should let them do what they need to do. Respect people's differences and respect their damn boundaries. They aint gotta talk to you because you wanna talk. They are not living for you any more than you are living for them. Respect their need for time and space. When you are family.... or you have a genuine bond in whatever relationship you have.... all you really need to do is let them know that you are there for them if and when tney need you and come through if and when they call. Thats it. Maybe its me but it seems like so simple a thing.
Anyway, Im glad she felt she could call to talk to me about it because it speaks to the progress we have made in our own relationship, but I cant help also feeling like that night on suicide watch... like the one night I cant find the right words to say....... sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I didnt really come in here to talk about that though.
My mama has been through some traumatic things in her life and her response to those experiences is to overcompensate. She tries to ensure that her family does not have to go through the things she did, even if her methods or motivation might not be right. She is always trying to help even when it means not realizing a person does not want her help. One of my sisters.... without knowing all the details, I can say that she has had experiences closest to those of my mother's, but her response has been the complete opposite. She detaches from situations. Today they found themselves in the same place, reacting differently, and such is my life, I got a phone call.
Listen.... dont believe the bullshit you hear about this person in this situation growing up to be like "this". The truth of the matter is that everybody is different and will respond differently to specific stimuli. My sisters and I grew up in the very same household, with the very same mother and ended up living three completely different lives. We were subjected to the same rules, the same upbringing, but we viewed, handled and approached life.... adversity.... differently. At the risk of sounding..... IDK, arrogant (?)... I dont think anybody would argue if I said I turned out the best of the bunch. That being said, being the youngest, I also had the luxury of observation - seeing where they went wrong and learning what not to do. Somewhere along the line I also tapped into those social sciences that taught me how to deal with people and to SEE myself for who and what I was, and accept myself in all my imperfection. With that comes acceptance of everybody else in their imperfection. Its allowed me to live harmoniously with most. Unfortunately, not everybody has developed the ability to do that. Not everybody even wants to.
Thats the conversation I had with my mother today. When its all said and done, you cant make somebody react to something the way you would because they are not you. And you cant make everything they do (or dont do) be ABOUT you. Sometimes the way a person handles a situation is the only way they know how to be okay and if its what they need to do to be okay, then you should let them do what they need to do. Respect people's differences and respect their damn boundaries. They aint gotta talk to you because you wanna talk. They are not living for you any more than you are living for them. Respect their need for time and space. When you are family.... or you have a genuine bond in whatever relationship you have.... all you really need to do is let them know that you are there for them if and when tney need you and come through if and when they call. Thats it. Maybe its me but it seems like so simple a thing.
Anyway, Im glad she felt she could call to talk to me about it because it speaks to the progress we have made in our own relationship, but I cant help also feeling like that night on suicide watch... like the one night I cant find the right words to say....... sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Invisible fences
So my mom saw my post about my Louboutin's and it spawned a whole conversation about life. I accredit some of it to a book a friend of mine published recently, called "The Come Up" (by Tracy Williams). By the way, I suggest everyone pick it up, especially if you have children.
Anyway, my copy is on its way to me, but I had the luxury of previewing a little of it online and it was about how black people are traditionally raised behind an invisible fence - you know, the electronic contraption made to keep your dogs from leaving the yard. To summarize, he said that certain of life's experiences, as an African American youth, are framed by our parents much like an invisible fence. We are taught that we arent designed for certain experiences... places... things. For instance, we cant question authority - the police - because it just makes us more of a target. But I offer that this invisible fence extends much farther than that. We have to eat every morsel of food on our plates because we dont have money to waste food and there are starving children in Africa wishing they had it. Red bottoms are for runways. Boys are mean and push you down in the sandbox because they like you.
The truth of the matter is, most plates have too much food on it, if you have the money you should buy it because tomorrow is not promised, and dudes who treat you like ahit are just assholes.
We raise our children in this way as a means of protecting them from the ugly truths in the world we live in, but the ugliest truth is that one day our children will leave home and have to fend for themselves and we are sending them out in wheelchairs, crippled by the cant's and shouldnt's we've instilled in them. Life doesnt come from fear and caution. Life comes from heart and determination to be. To BE.
My mama nearly cried today when I told her how much those shoes cost, but it was just because she was proud that I got to own a pair when she has never had the privilege of doing any better than Liz Claiborne - her words. She was proud that I kicked that invisible fence in the face and threw a middle finger to the culture that taught us those luxuries are not ours to have. Its not very different from having my name on an AMEX when I never thought I would live to see the day. Hell, its not very different from having a black president when I never thought I would live to see the day.
Today I shared some things with my mother to help her live better and while I am not generally a proponent of spending a G on a pair of shoes, if doing so will give you the motivation to topple every other wall of every other box that has been built around you, then dammit, do it. Do whatever you have to do to make yourself feel powerful and in control of your life because you are powerful and in control of your life. Stop telling yourself what you cant do or cant have. You only cant do or have because YOU believe you cant. When you shatter the limits you impose on yourself, nobody else can impose them on you. Its one of the biggest lessons I have learned in the last 3 years of my life and my mother is just getting a glimpse of it at 60.
How much of YOUR life is going to be spent behind an invisible fence?
Anyway, my copy is on its way to me, but I had the luxury of previewing a little of it online and it was about how black people are traditionally raised behind an invisible fence - you know, the electronic contraption made to keep your dogs from leaving the yard. To summarize, he said that certain of life's experiences, as an African American youth, are framed by our parents much like an invisible fence. We are taught that we arent designed for certain experiences... places... things. For instance, we cant question authority - the police - because it just makes us more of a target. But I offer that this invisible fence extends much farther than that. We have to eat every morsel of food on our plates because we dont have money to waste food and there are starving children in Africa wishing they had it. Red bottoms are for runways. Boys are mean and push you down in the sandbox because they like you.
The truth of the matter is, most plates have too much food on it, if you have the money you should buy it because tomorrow is not promised, and dudes who treat you like ahit are just assholes.
We raise our children in this way as a means of protecting them from the ugly truths in the world we live in, but the ugliest truth is that one day our children will leave home and have to fend for themselves and we are sending them out in wheelchairs, crippled by the cant's and shouldnt's we've instilled in them. Life doesnt come from fear and caution. Life comes from heart and determination to be. To BE.
My mama nearly cried today when I told her how much those shoes cost, but it was just because she was proud that I got to own a pair when she has never had the privilege of doing any better than Liz Claiborne - her words. She was proud that I kicked that invisible fence in the face and threw a middle finger to the culture that taught us those luxuries are not ours to have. Its not very different from having my name on an AMEX when I never thought I would live to see the day. Hell, its not very different from having a black president when I never thought I would live to see the day.
Today I shared some things with my mother to help her live better and while I am not generally a proponent of spending a G on a pair of shoes, if doing so will give you the motivation to topple every other wall of every other box that has been built around you, then dammit, do it. Do whatever you have to do to make yourself feel powerful and in control of your life because you are powerful and in control of your life. Stop telling yourself what you cant do or cant have. You only cant do or have because YOU believe you cant. When you shatter the limits you impose on yourself, nobody else can impose them on you. Its one of the biggest lessons I have learned in the last 3 years of my life and my mother is just getting a glimpse of it at 60.
How much of YOUR life is going to be spent behind an invisible fence?
Friday, February 1, 2013
Decisions, decisions....
Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to my first pair of Louboutins.... It took a lot of convincing, but fuck it, I deserved them. I dont wanna talk about the price - let's just say these muthafuckas cost more than my last car and Im still talking myself out of returning them tomorrow LOL - but I never thought I'd own a legit pair, so Im having kind of a moment.... even if it ends up being a 24-hr moment LOL. Dammit man!
Decisions, decisions.... sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Weirdness
So remember the dream I had last week - the job being cult-like and me making out with the chick?
Chick quit today.
#weirdness
Chick quit today.
#weirdness
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