Happy Sunday!

Happy Sunday, people. What's going on in my universe today?

Well, I'm 5 days into my meat fast for Lent. You'd think that wasn't saying much since I only eat poultry anyway, but it's been a lot tougher than I expected. I never feel like I really eat a lot of meat but over the last couple of days, I've come to realize that I kinda sneak my meat in. I have it in the form of spicy chicken sausages, turkey bacon-wrapped dates and other subtle shit like that that I really don't think about when I think "meat". I also take for granted since most places tend to have fish at the time that I order it that they ALWAYS have it. At lunch with my coworkers on Friday I almost had to make do with beer nuts LOL. Of all the days to not be having fish, a Friday? SMH. Luckily I stumbled across a veggie burger on the menu, which actually happened to be quite amazing, and all was well. Not gonna lie though - I almost bailed on this endeavor that day, and don't judge me if I eventually do LOL, but I think I really need this test of will right now. CAN I do it? Sure. If I can quit smoking, I can do anything (4 months smoke-free, btw). The real challenge is following through simply because I said I would. If I tell you, her, him, them or anybody else that I'm going to do something, you can bet your rent money its gonna be done. Unfortunately, I don't tend to show the same level of commitment to ME. I break promises to myself all the time and its a habit I really need to break. It creates a subconscious avenue of justification for putting myself second to other people which only tills the soil for insecurity to seed and grow. I'm a few dating updates short of y'all being all caught up, but until I get around to it, suffice it to say that aint nobody got time for that.

I'm also creating the vision board I've been wanting to do since forever and just never prioritized. I didn't think to do this until just now but I may parlay that into a writing project as well. The objective is to add something to the board every day through Easter, so maybe I will post about every item I add. Not sure if or how that will work out but I'll put a strong effort behind it. Let's see how it goes. I mean I do have a little more time on my hands now that I'm not in school. My initial leave of absence ended February 4th and I reported for class for about two weeks before I realized I just had no desire to be there. I mean ZERO interest. Part of it is I didn't love the curriculum. I was taking the Masters in Organizational Development to stack with my Masters in Psychology, thinking jointly they would be the perfect setup for me to go into occupational therapy but those first two classes were an absolute SNOOZEFEST. If they were any indication of what was to come, there was no way I was gonna get through it. So I withdrew from the class and initiated another six-week leave of absence in which to either find a program I am more connected to or come to the decision that one Masters is enough. I'm leaning toward the latter because further introspection leads me to believe that school either has been or was becoming a means of hiding from life and I don't wanna do that anymore either.

Clearly we've got some catching up to do but bear with me; some of the words are still forming. You know how that goes, but the weather is breaking. You know how that goes too. There shall be fuckery afoot LOL. But its okay. I'll embrace it LOL.

Y'all be easy.