Lucky Me

I hate these periods when I feel like the Lord is telling me to wait to do something I so badly want to do, not just now, but RIGHT now. I want to leave this job so damn bad, I actually sit and day dream about different ways to quit LOL. But the interviews I've gone on haven't worked out - for lack of a fit on either my part or theirs - and I have to admit I've been fucken KILLING the game the last couple months at work. I've been slaying so much that the bitch we all hate pulled me to the side last Thursday and told me she appreciated me and I should leave a little early to start enjoying my long weekend. She aint have to tell me twice.

And I woke up at 4am today with Jay-Z on the brain HARD. I don't know what that means cause my 4am with Jesus usually doesn't come with a soundtrack but "Lucky Me" was playing over and over in my head. Those of you who are familiar with the song will recognize the hook: "You only know what you see. You don't understand what it takes to be me." Those of you who aren't should be in mid-google right about now, getting your life. Aside from it being [arguably] my favorite Jay-Z song ever, it resonates so much in my life right now, its almost not weird that it seeped into my Jesus time. In different ways, of course, but......... let's just say that a series of conversations I've had with people over the last couple of weeks made it very clear to me - people think shit is sweet. They have NO idea..... but you know what? They shouldn't. So Ima leave that right there.

Things are not 100% the way I want them to be but they are slowly but surely evolving into.... something. A lot of it I like. I don't really know what the finished product will look like but I definitely feel change afoot and I welcome it. Too soon to go into detail about most of it but...... I am finding that as long as I remain open, I can still be surprised.

I like surprises.